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Old 10-21-2011, 04:06 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,510 posts, read 5,711,558 times
Reputation: 3441

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Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but View Post
"Nice guys finish last" does not mean "obnoxious guys finish first" ... especially when it comes to rude displays of obscene behavior out in public aimed at women. They are different things. Let me explain. Women can be their own worst enemies. Yes, I said it. There are some women that have a fixation on "bad boys" or "men who need fixing." These men give them terrible trouble, but to the woman it's her own "do it yourselfer" project ... fixing the bad man ... and she keeps trying until she "wins" or the bad boy dumps her. (An interesting sidenote is if the woman actually wins and tames the bad boy, all of a sudden, he's boring to her and SHE dumps him!)

Now when a really good man, a "nice guy" we will say, comes across a woman like this and is interested in her and treats her well, that is weird to her, so more often than not she will foolishly put the guy in the "friend zone" ... and even annoy the guy by asking for "advice" on how to fix the current bad boy she is obsessing over.

But even with all this, hooting, hissing, kissing and shouting obscene things in the street or on the train generally does NOT cause even a woman fixated on bad boys to "want" a man who does such things.

I will also say that "nice guys" don't have to finish last. What they have to do is ASSESS if a woman they are interested in is one of the types that obsesses over bad boys. If the answer is YES, move on and find a woman with more sense in her head! Friend zone, schmend zone. Just move on. Don't try and prove how "good" you really are and how much better you are than the moron she's obsessing over and then you, yourself suffer rejection. Reason being, the woman is an idiot and doesn't appreciate quality in men. Her brain is wired wrong and she prefers a PITA for a man. Don't feel bad either. It's nothing wrong with the good guy, it's something wrong with the woman.
The point that I was alluding to is what I highlited in your response. I'm not saying that men should either be intentional as*holes, or disingenuous "nice guys", but what I have noticed is that both can be successful at attaining their final goal with women.

All women are different and therefore require a different approach. You'll have "nice guys" who are "nice" to everyone, and "as*holes" who are as*holes to everyone. Both can experience success as they define it. It really just depends on what type of women they are approaching.

 
Old 10-21-2011, 04:13 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,510 posts, read 5,711,558 times
Reputation: 3441
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuberose View Post
'Hissing and kissing' sounds are more likely to be part of the mating ritual in the Bronx zoo
It's is not normal, healthy behaviour for well-adjusted adults.
It's just plain weird and freaky.
And I wouldn't like to run into one of these guys in a quiet street after dark
Perhaps, but humans and other animals are more alike than you think. Both are generally biologically and instinctually driven in their mating habits. If a guy begins "hissing" and the woman being hissed at turns, looks and likes what she sees, then nature is taking it's course. Acceptable socially engineered etiquette doesn't stand a chance against the raw, primal sexual urges between a man and a woman who are attracted to one another.
 
Old 10-21-2011, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Australasia
371 posts, read 716,337 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by myfriendgoo View Post
I don't know, I used to live in Paris for years, quite frankly it was worse than NY. Guys flashed up in front of girls in the subway station, guys jerking up in front of you on the subway car (when there were other passengers around no less)---I believe perverts are everywhere, big cities or small towns. It's just in huge cities like Paris and NY they tend to be more brazen and obvious because they know they can get away with it easier because of the crowd.

And no, perverts are perverts, they don't just come in specifically a pack of the same ethnic background. Don't look down on those hungry Hispanic working class men just because they might look short, sleazy and horny, the biggest perverts that go on internet kiddie porns for years or **** around with their step-daughters could be that seemingly preppy, "upscale" looking WASPY lawyer of yours or your college Political Science professor who came from East Coast old money. Behind any facade there are men who respect women and men who don't. Just because someone wears head to toe Brookes Brothers doesn't mean he's any less a pervert than those guys hanging around at Bodegas.
So true
These guys are no worse than the white collar sleezy types.
Not mentioning any names - but is the famous European man who did the thing with the NYC hotel maid any better ???
So it's not a cultural thing.
Just some males do act like dogs.
However some females need to stop enabling it (one way or another)
 
Old 10-21-2011, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Australasia
371 posts, read 716,337 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
Perhaps, but humans and other animals are more alike than you think. Both are generally biologically and instinctually driven in their mating habits. If a guy begins "hissing" and the woman being hissed at turns, looks and likes what she sees, then nature is taking it's course. Acceptable socially engineered etiquette doesn't stand a chance against the raw, primal sexual urges between a man and a woman who are attracted to one another.
Oh good lord .... how old are you?
I can assure you not so many women are attracted to men who make hissing and kissing sounds except those few women who are perfect matches for men like that. Enough said
 
Old 10-22-2011, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Bronx, NY
5,515 posts, read 17,672,550 times
Reputation: 2059
I do it less now but I usually say "God bless you" and always get a smile and a thanks in return. Would that bother all of you uptight fairies in this thread?

Fact is im a guy. You're a female. If you have attractive physique, I am going to look...and there is NOTHING you can do about it. It's my eyes dammit. It's also not illegal to look.

This rascist talk is also funny. I bet you're all a bunch of white females. SMH.

I don't care is it's a bunch of 5 ft tall Mexicans from Puebla, some dark skin Dominican from Santo Domingo, or some Daddy Yankee looking Puerto Rican from San Juan, you white females are not better than them. We are all humans, don't act like your ish dont stink. Give me a break.
 
Old 10-22-2011, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Australasia
371 posts, read 716,337 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperMario View Post

I don't care is it's a bunch of 5 ft tall Mexicans from Puebla, some dark skin Dominican from Santo Domingo, or some Daddy Yankee looking Puerto Rican from San Juan, you white females are not better than them. We are all humans, don't act like your ish dont stink. Give me a break.
Umm
Maybe the idea is to treat other people on the street respectfully.
That means not calling out and not groping. Also not not making hissing and kissing noises to women.
We are human ... not animal
 
Old 10-22-2011, 07:21 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 1,845,234 times
Reputation: 2539
Quote:
Originally Posted by unlvstudent View Post
I haven't been in NYC very long (originally from Nevada) but never in my life have I experienced so many creepy men who blatantly stare me up and down, say nasty sexual comments to me, call me names, etc. until I moved here. I'm a pretty attractive, young, blonde girl, which is very common where I'm from, so I assume the guys there are just used to it. But here it's just ridiculous! So is it normal for a female to have 5 foot tall Hispanic men (oh you know what I'm talking about, I see them everywhere. They're all hispanic, short, and creepy. Often seen delivering food.) on the subway staring and whispering at you? To walk past a guy on the street and have him stop and turn around and shout something at you? When I'm walking down the street and see a group of construction workers I know what's coming. I've even had a guy grab my ass on a crowded subway.

Do these men have ANY respect for women?
To the comment I bolded: Does it matter? Do you have "ANY respect" for them?

Let's start with your blatantly racist sneering, which I hope someone already addressed with you on this thread (which I haven't read yet). You are going to need to lose that attitude right now, today.

Secondly, you need to get over yourself. You evidently think this has something to do with your looks, which you say "pretty attractive young blonde". This is a minor point. This doesn't channel the attention. What is attracting notice here is that you are a rube. You are a NY noob. You give off the odor. I see this all the time with people freshly entering this city. You are excited and you stare up at the Chrysler building with big wet eyes, clutching your Juicy Couture bags, and feeling all 'Sex in the City'.

Men are not stupid beasts, they get that you don't know how to deal with it like a New York woman. You are like a ridiculous poodle among the wolves.

You need to develop a thicker skin, sister. Or don't, your choice. But this is really about you, and not about them.

p.s., I am also white, blonde, and "pretty attractive". I get a lot of attention. So what. Learn to live or leave. The end.
 
Old 10-22-2011, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,000 posts, read 54,493,040 times
Reputation: 66344
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperMario View Post
I do it less now but I usually say "God bless you" and always get a smile and a thanks in return. Would that bother all of you uptight fairies in this thread?

Fact is im a guy. You're a female. If you have attractive physique, I am going to look...and there is NOTHING you can do about it. It's my eyes dammit. It's also not illegal to look.

This rascist talk is also funny. I bet you're all a bunch of white females. SMH.

I don't care is it's a bunch of 5 ft tall Mexicans from Puebla, some dark skin Dominican from Santo Domingo, or some Daddy Yankee looking Puerto Rican from San Juan, you white females are not better than them. We are all humans, don't act like your ish dont stink. Give me a break.
I don't think anyone is saying they are better than anyone else, and I know that some of the noises and behavior are cultural. But if one wants to be accepted and understood, then accept and understand that one has relocated to a culture where that kind of behavior is considered rude and creepy. If one knows the behavior is considered rude and creepy, why keep doing it? What does one hope to gain by treating a female in a way that one knows will offend her? Constant rejection and then the excuse to say "you think you're better than me"? How logical is that?

On the other hand, the American woman can also understand that the behavior probably isn't intended to be insulting, and learn to ignore it if she doesn't like it.

Then we can all try one another's ethnic foods and the world will be happy.
 
Old 10-23-2011, 12:34 AM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,510 posts, read 5,711,558 times
Reputation: 3441
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuberose View Post
Oh good lord .... how old are you?
I can assure you not so many women are attracted to men who make hissing and kissing sounds except those few women who are perfect matches for men like that. Enough said
Like it or not, there are women who are receptive to it.

It should not be a shocker to you that there are desperate men out there with desperate women that will respond to them favorably.
 
Old 10-23-2011, 09:43 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 1,845,234 times
Reputation: 2539
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotus12 View Post
Yeah, I mean god forbid someone point out that all of the people harassing them are hispanic, not white, not black, not asian but hispanic... see a trend there? There was absolutely nothing racist about that statement at all, thats not racist thats the truth. People like you are one of the main things wrong with society, way to sensitive and overly pc. What meaning do you expect your delusional statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would hold any weight? I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.
Okay, wow, take a powder and lie down. I said in my post 'I get lots of attention', I meant the same type of attention as the OP (so I guess that doesn't make me unknowing or inexperienced).

Here's the difference btwn her perception and mine: she actively pays attention to the people who are trying to chat her up -- otherwise how would she make a sweeping generalization about their size, ethnicity and occupation? She pays attention to this, why? A theory: if the catcaller matched a physical description of what she would find attractive, she would consider it a compliment. But no -- her 'catcallers' seem to her, according to her description "short Hispanics delivering food", in other words beneath her contempt.

Call me pc, that's not exactly an insult. The point is, you come to NYC and you don't know how to act in public and you think it is someone else's fault -- possibly the fault of "those Hispancs"? NY women know to ignore it all, and to not make any assumptions about ethnicity. Stay classy on the street, be respectful of all, and they will be respectful of you.

This is a masterpiece:
"I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have... "

That's one of the best passive-aggressive statements I have ever read. Fit for passiveaggressivenotes dot com

p.s. you are correct that my fists are tiny, but I don't use them to hit at 30% of the population of NY
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