Would it be better to raise kids in a big city like NYC or a smaller town? (New York: apartment, houses)

[jazzymentality]

Whenever I watch NYC and see all the children roaming the city, discovering new things each and every day, I get somewhat jealous and think about what life would be like if I was raised in NYC. I don't want my kids to have to experience a sheltered life style. I want my kids to be surrounded by diversity, creativity and new opportunities everyday. Sure, we won't be the richest people in NYC, but there are still new things to experience everyday. Riding the subways with different people, going into different small shops, hangout spots and just getting involved in random activities is something I want my kids to experience. Looking at little hotdog stands while walking the streets is something I find intriguing and beautiful. It represents something a lot more than just a regular foodstand. It represents unity and leadership. Would it be wrong to move to NYC, because I want my kids to experience a life I didn't get the chance to experience.

No, I don't have any kids right now. I'm talking about in the future.

[dixiecupdrinking]

It wouldn't be wrong at all. I think your reasons for wanting to do this are valid and realistic. If you said that you really wanted your kids to grow up living the "Gossip Girl" lifestyle, then that would be a Bad Idea. I agree that there are incredibly unique and valuable things about growing up in New York that lend kids a very good perspective. However, I think that in reality, the reason so many people do move to the suburbs when they have kids is because it's difficult to enjoy the culture and the diversity when you're sharing a two-bedroom apartment with two pre-schoolers and still struggling to pay rent. It's a trade-off, but one that obviously many people also do make successfully.

[Viralmd]

Gossip Girl is utter nonsense and NOT remotely connected to reality.

There are advantages and drawbacks to raising children in the city. But that's true of any place, whether it's the city, the suburbs or out in very rural areas. It's a very subjective decision.

[guyinnj]

If you can afford to raise your kids in the city and live comfortably, meaning having a nice spacious apartment and putting your children in good schools, Manhattan is a great place to raise kids. On the other hand, living off of a middle class budget in NYC with kids seems expensive, really expensive.

[NJ Chutzpah]

Actually it is wrong to move here for those reasons

Growing up with more diversity does not make you a better person than someone who did not

It should not make any difference to you whether they grow up having one friend from china, another from india, and another from colombia, or if all their friends are white

Are you children happy where they are?

Do you need to move because of financial reasons?

those are the reason you should be moving for

[bmwguydc]

NYC is wonderful when you're a child, and can be quite fun for the parents as well. If you do move to NYC to have kids, be sure to take advantage of all that the region has to offer, as opposed to settling into a neighborhood or nearby town and not experiencing the city for all it's worth. You could live in the city itself, or in a neighboring county that is a short train ride from the city proper. If you plan to use public schools, be sure to factor that into your choice of areas, when the time comes. I loved NYC as a child and I continue to enjoy it today.

The one thing I have noticed, however, is that the sense of "awe and wonderment" is a bit diminished when I go to other places, since there's just so much in NYC that one can be desensitized a bit. It's not to say that one does not appreciate different places and cultures, or the little moments of life that are special, but in a more general sense, the wonderment factor requires a greater show to get a response out of someone who spent formative years in NYC.

[Moderate Guy]

Originally Posted by jazzymentality

Looking at little hotdog stands while walking the streets is something I find intriguing and beautiful.

I agree with NJ's take but I'd include that if you teach kids respect for others you're halfway there.

And BTW I guess I'm naive but I thought a big city like Minneapolis had hot dog vendors on some streets.

[havoc315]

It is a purely subjective decision, without right or wrong answers. Obviously, there are many Americans who left the cities, wishing to raise their children in the suburbs. There are pros and cons of each, affordability being just one consideration.
To some extent, it becomes choices between wide open spaces versus access to museums. Safer neighborhoods, versus extremely diverse exposure. etc, etc.

There is no universal right or wrong answer. At the same time, choosing the suburbs does not necessarily mean you are giving up on cultural diversity and exposure. And choosing the city doesn't mean you are foreiting your child's safety and education. It is possible to combine both. Of course, money makes that easier as well (to afford private school in the city, or afford to live in the more cosmopolitan suburbs closest to the city).

[Irish Eyes]

Your description of hot dog carts tells me your expectations are somewhat unrealistic. Read the diversity/lack of mixing thread. Your kids will SEE other races while they're on their way to hang out with friends that look just like them. And that's about it. And those shops that they can hop in and out of? Many will be happily selling alcohol and cigarettes to 13 year olds. NYC isn't going to be just like your small town with more opportunity - it's a large and often anonymous place. I'm glad I grew up here but you should know what you're really getting yourself and your kids into.

[Rachael84]

I lived in Queens when I was a very little kid. We had attached houses on our block and had that huge concrete backyard that everyone shared. We really didn't have lots of room to run around, and always needed an adult watching us despite knowing most of our neighbors. My parents moved when I was entering school so we could be in the good suburb schools, and also have more to do. She said there are way more things to do for kids in the suburbs. Said my sister and I were always bored since there was just one local park to go to. Where we lived outside of the city, we had a huge yard and I didn't need my parents watching me. Got involved in a lot of travel sports too.

There are plenty of kids raised in the city (must be, since the elem school I teach in in the Bronx has 1000 kids), but I think a lot move to the suburbs for better opportunities for their children. Nearly every kid I knew was born in the city and moved to the suburbs. If they weren't, their parents were born in the city and moved to LI before having kids. Just something I've noticed.