Dating experiences/efficiencies for transplants in NYC (home, living in)

[wheregirl]

Hello,

I am considering the possibility of moving to either NYC or some other place. The pro for NYC is that it seems the most efficient place to meet a lot of people because of the walkability and high density. I am a single girl and dating/relationship is a high priority.

But, I wonder, for the transplants NYC's potential may not materialize as I have heard lots of stories of people who lived in NYC for years without meeting the One, and then they traveled or moved away and immediately they met their Love.

So I am just wondering: is the large number of people in NYC useful at all, if all you do is to talk to/meet a lot of people without forming deep loving bonds?

There seems to be a different mentality in terms of the native NYCers, they do form serious relationships, as they are living in the home town they grew up in and they are more inclined to look for love rather than games in NYC.

Is it possible that the transplants tend to look at NYC as a big candy store for relationship possibilities and thus have a harder time to form serious relationships?

Also, is it worse for women in NYC, since some people say that men are both not so good-looking and tend to be players in NYC? I don't care and don't need their wallets.

Thanks for your inputs!

[Viralmd]

Honestly, if your motive in moving to NYC is solely to find 'the one' then you should reconsider.

[Biskit]

I think you should follow your heart. As long as you're honest with your decisions and reasons for moving to a certain place, doing a certain job, hanging out with certain people, doing certain activities then love will find you whereever you go, because you are where your heart says you should be and so will the person that you fall in love with as long as they too are honest with themselves.

[wheregirl]

I have enough interests and reasons to move to NYC other than dating (artistic, work, intellectual, etc) but I can pursue those interests elsewhere as well. Because of my independence from location in my work and other interests, NYC has to offer serious dating/relationship benefits to offset its other side effects.

[Moderate Guy]

Originally Posted by wheregirl

some people say that men are both not so good-looking and tend to be players in NYC?

I think that you have been ill-advised - NYC men are indeed good-looking as this poster is himself a stellar example of that fact! Women from all over the country and universe come to NYC and are mesmerized by the suave, drop-dead gorgeous looks of the NYC man!

[dixiecupdrinking]

It's just a place like any other. There are people of all stripes here.. single, married, divorced, ugly, attractive, rich, poor, liberal, conservative. It seems to me that moving anywhere primarily because you expect there to be better dating options is a dead-end proposition.

[dixiecupdrinking]

also, this comment..

Originally Posted by wheregirl

I have enough interests and reasons to move to NYC other than dating (artistic, work, intellectual, etc) but I can pursue those interests elsewhere as well. Because of my independence from location in my work and other interests, NYC has to offer serious dating/relationship benefits to offset its other side effects.

...suggests to me that you will quite likely be unhappy in NYC. I don't think it's a good place for people who consider everything other than the dating scene to be "side effects." There are certainly easier places to live and you can find a date anywhere. Why are you moving?

[Rusty_Shackleford]

Originally Posted by dixiecupdrinking

It's just a place like any other. There are people of all stripes here.. single, married, divorced, ugly, attractive, rich, poor, liberal, conservative. It seems to me that moving anywhere primarily because you expect there to be better dating options is a dead-end proposition.

I disagree. Some places have a smaller proportion of single people than others, or an imbalance of single men to women, or favorable/unfavorable social settings. I certainly wouldn't tell a guy moving to Alaska that "the dating scene is fine, just like everywhere else". Of course a person could find a date anywhere. But that doesn't mean that there will be dates that they'll want. Why should a person stay in a town of 500, with 5 singles their age to choose from?

[dixiecupdrinking]

Originally Posted by Rusty_Shackleford

I disagree. Some places have a smaller proportion of single people than others, or an imbalance of single men to women, or favorable/unfavorable social settings. I certainly wouldn't tell a guy moving to Alaska that "the dating scene is fine, just like everywhere else". Of course a person could find a date anywhere. But that doesn't mean that there will be dates that they'll want. Why should a person stay in a town of 500, with 5 singles their age to choose from?

You're right, of course. I suppose what I meant was, among any major urban center. It just seems to me that moving anyplace with your single stated priority being to find a good dating scene will likely end up in disappointment no matter where you end up. Maybe I'm too young and eligible () to understand.

[wheregirl]

You wouldn't understand unless you have lived in a small town of 2000 for a few years. Also, this does seem to confirm for me what I have heard---that the average men in NYC with no particular merits all think they are fantastic or eligible just because of the imbalanced male-female ratio there.

Maybe there are some more intelligent men who would not be swayed by the popular mentality that plague other men of the general area...