How to meet people in NYC??? (New York, York: living in, store, clubs)

[Marty McFly Jr]

Originally Posted by cazattack

I moved to Riverdale about a month ago and i'm interning in midtown. I'm finding it insanely difficult to met people and make friends. Im interning in a smallish fashion company and the other girls here (of course no guys) are relatively snobby and everyone has their own offices and close their doors. bleh.
I had looked into a couple groups/clubs/classes, but most require money (either to eat out at meetings or for classes or for supplies, etc.) which i dont really have right now. I did make friends with a couple at a dance club one night, but having 2 friends from coney island when i live in riverdale, doesnt really help me.
It just seems that the majority of people i meet and see have no interest in making friends or talking to anyone. I'm from upstate and i guess im pretty used to knowing about half of the people i see everywhere i go. I tend to feel really different from everyone around me, though im shy im also really silly and fun and happy go lucky but everyone i see (especially on the subway) has this grumpy i-hate-my-life expression. its weird.

and on top of this, two weeks after i moved, my boyfriend broke up with me, out of his "fear of moving to nyc" basically he said he didnt want to "spend half his day on the subway, get mugged and have to look at ghetto people all day." when i explained nyc is nothing like that he just argued with me. what a freaking *******... so i guess on that note... where do people find potential bf/gf material? especially when i work in fashion all i see are girls and gay men....sigh.

Wow, you're screwed. with a profession like yours you might never find a streight mate (jk)
Well, I assume that making friends in NYC works the same way as making friends anywhere else. You go somewhere, meet someone, strike a conversation, and maybe become friends for life...
But the question here is not "how to make friends in NYC", the question here is "how to make friends in a new place where I don't have family and friends"
The reason you are used to knowing everyone you meet is because you are used to your hometown. the place you lived. your family and friends are there, your whole world is there Of course you'll know everyone.
It's no different here.
I'm also pretty used to knowing many people I see everywhere I go.
Look, if I had moved from here to upstate, I'd also be at a loss as to how to make new friends.
But don't worry. there are many online dating sites for New Yorkers, so you'll meet people in your area either online or in a dating club.
Good luck!
BTW, it's not true that everyone is grumpy in the subway. they just think their thoughts while they wait to get home. if yu don't believe me, why not strika a conversation with one of those subway commuters next time you're on it

[bmwguydc]

Originally Posted by nyc_composer

However, a true escort is like a courtesan and provides companionship in many different ways.

And, historically speaking, favors in the bedroom were part and parcel of a courtesan's business, whether or not they were primarily or secondarily employed in such a role by their benefactor, in addition to social duties and others that were associated with mistresses. Those from upper middle class backgrounds were educated and well versed in the world, and some had careers in the arts or other means through which they had an independent lifestyle and were not completely beholden to those who engaged their services, whereas others from lower class backgrounds without the education and training were beholden to the benefactor for their survival.

In today's NYC, that's not a way to generally meet people on an even level, however, since the introduction of payment for services (even companionship, and certainly NOT prostitution) creates an imbalance from which a true and lasting friendship could be tainted. It's one thing to meet another as an equal and quite another to employ their services, since it creates a benefactor relationship not unlike that of an historical courtesan.

Plus, it can be viewed as very unseemly, even if nothing promiscuous comes out of the relationship. Just look at some of the recent scandals with the prostitution rings, that featured women who asserted that they were merely escorts and did not trade sexual favors, yet were caught up in the fracas. That can taint one's professional reputation at minimum, even if everything is above-board. And, what if one meets a former client socially, even worse if they have a friendship with someone with whom one could have a lasting relationship?

[Moderate Guy]

Originally Posted by bmwguydc

And, historically speaking, favors in the bedroom were part and parcel of a courtesan's business, whether or not they were primarily or secondarily employed in such a role by their benefactor, in addition to social duties and others that were associated with mistresses. Those from upper middle class backgrounds were educated and well versed in the world, and some had careers in the arts or other means through which they had an independent lifestyle and were not completely beholden to those who engaged their services, whereas others from lower class backgrounds without the education and training were beholden to the benefactor for their survival.

In today's NYC, that's not a way to generally meet people on an even level, however, since the introduction of payment for services (even companionship, and certainly NOT prostitution) creates an imbalance from which a true and lasting friendship could be tainted. It's one thing to meet another as an equal and quite another to employ their services, since it creates a benefactor relationship not unlike that of an historical courtesan.

Plus, it can be viewed as very unseemly, even if nothing promiscuous comes out of the relationship. Just look at some of the recent scandals with the prostitution rings, that featured women who asserted that they were merely escorts and did not trade sexual favors, yet were caught up in the fracas. That can taint one's professional reputation at minimum, even if everything is above-board. And, what if one meets a former client socially, even worse if they have a friendship with someone with whom one could have a lasting relationship?

Very good perspective, I must say....even if yet another potential opportunity for me seems now foreclosed after carefully evaluating your post.

[Rachael84]

Maybe you can go to a local concert solo and meet people that way. It's a lot easier to meet other people when a show is General Admission though. No friends my age ever liked the bands i like, so I always went solo to the General Admission concerts. I ended up meeting tons of people and have made some pretty good friends that way. Now I always have my pick of people to go to concerts with

[clevedark]

Hmm, there are always surprise friends and dates in NYC. Just do your thing--it helps once you have a routine and you feel more secure. Strangely enough my social life exploded when I got sober and joined AA--it seemed like half of NY was in there, too.

But I remember many weekends during my single days when my phone never rang and I barely spoke at all. It can be lonely sometimes. So on Saturdays and Sundays I would just go out exploring alone, to see whatever, a store, a strange shop, a neighborhood.

Like you, I worked in a female dominated field with very low pay....

[Moderate Guy]

NYC has a way of equalizing unwitting residents. The OP is obviously an attractive woman - judging by her picture profile - and she's having a hard time meeting people. I, on the other hand, am unattractive, and thus have a hard time attracting beauty. Of course the OP is new in town and I'm a longtime resident but the anonymity of city life and the consequential apprehensions of forming relationships invariably equalize us all - young and old, beautiful and not so beautiful, intelligent and subpar, elite professional and janitor, boss and employee, newcomer and oldtimer.

[bmwguydc]

Originally Posted by Miles

NYC has a way of equalizing unwitting residents. The OP is obviously an attractive woman - judging by her picture profile - and she's having a hard time meeting people. I, on the other hand, am unattractive, and thus have a hard time attracting beauty. Of course the OP is new in town and I'm a longtime resident but the anonymity of city life and the consequential apprehensions of forming relationships invariably equalize us all - young and old, beautiful and not so beautiful, intelligent and subpar, elite professional and janitor, boss and employee, newcomer and oldtimer.

So very true, no matter how one may be feeling at a given moment in the city, there's at least one other soul feeling exactly the same way.

[Moderate Guy]

Originally Posted by bmwguydc

So very true, no matter how one may be feeling at a given moment in the city, there's at least one other soul feeling exactly the same way.

Absolutely.

[cazattack]

so we should stick all of us no-friend lonely losers in a giant box somewhere in central park, because misery loves company, and plus, then we have company! and we can all go to the zoo. lol

[Moderate Guy]

Originally Posted by cazattack

so we should stick all of us no-friend lonely losers in a giant box somewhere in central park, because misery loves company, and plus, then we have company! and we can all go to the zoo. lol

Good idea...except for me. You guys might end up feeding me peanuts. lol.