How to meet people in NYC??? (New York, York: home, living, restaurants)

[cazattack]

I moved to Riverdale about a month ago and i'm interning in midtown. I'm finding it insanely difficult to met people and make friends. Im interning in a smallish fashion company and the other girls here (of course no guys) are relatively snobby and everyone has their own offices and close their doors. bleh.
I had looked into a couple groups/clubs/classes, but most require money (either to eat out at meetings or for classes or for supplies, etc.) which i dont really have right now. I did make friends with a couple at a dance club one night, but having 2 friends from coney island when i live in riverdale, doesnt really help me.
It just seems that the majority of people i meet and see have no interest in making friends or talking to anyone. I'm from upstate and i guess im pretty used to knowing about half of the people i see everywhere i go. I tend to feel really different from everyone around me, though im shy im also really silly and fun and happy go lucky but everyone i see (especially on the subway) has this grumpy i-hate-my-life expression. its weird.

and on top of this, two weeks after i moved, my boyfriend broke up with me, out of his "fear of moving to nyc" basically he said he didnt want to "spend half his day on the subway, get mugged and have to look at ghetto people all day." when i explained nyc is nothing like that he just argued with me. so i guess on that note... where do people find potential bf/gf material? especially when i work in fashion all i see are girls and gay men....sigh.

[SobroGuy]

well if you live in NYC, you pretty much do have to look at ghetto people all day, unless you stay locked in your apt and/or never leave a 3 block radius. Since you have gay men around...start by making friends with the gay dudes....they will treat you like one of the "girls", take you out, and introduce you to lots of people. It's a good start. If all else fails, put an ad on "Casual Encounters" on craigslist with a pic and you will miraculously find LOTS of new friends..I guarantee.

[nyctc7]

Ah, the lonely concrete jungle...

People do seem to go the internet dating route...match.com or whatever

Good luck...

[danameless]

Originally Posted by SobroGuy

well if you live in NYC, you pretty much do have to look at ghetto people all day, unless you stay locked in your apt and/or never leave a 3 block radius. Since you have gay men around...start by making friends with the gay dudes....they will treat you like one of the "girls", take you out, and introduce you to lots of people. It's a good start. If all else fails, put an ad on "Casual Encounters" on craigslist with a pic and you will miraculously find LOTS of new friends..I guarantee.

I agree and disagree,

I agree with making friends with your co-workers, at least the friendly ones, to get to know people and the city first. You will be surprised how many people you can get to know through a few people first. It's a lot about personality actually, it helps to be outgoing and being able to strike up conversations with people. I've met people at parks, restaurants, through friends, even at a starbucks me and my friends stop by sometimes.

I disagree that people in NYC are ghetto looking. I've live in the city most of my life and I'm pretty confident I am not ghetto or ghetto looking. And don't post a ad on Casual Encounters to meet people, unless you want people sending you pics of various body parts (assuming your good looking!)

[Modification Specialist]

One piece of advice - don't go looking for people, they will come to you.

I moved here in 1988 from Texas, after excepting a job offer. I like you are doing now, I went out looking for new people to meet. Going to clubs - is the wrong place to meet new friends (especially for girls). It might be fun, but will never lead to a lasting relationship.....

After a few years living here, I realized what I was doing wrong. I was trying to be friends with everybody (having to wear different faces). I realized you have to be yourself, and people will like you for who you are.

Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do? Join a club. Have extra time - volunteer.....

New York is one town that everything to offer.

Remember be your self.............

Good Luck

[Viralmd]

Go out with your colleagues to lunch - yes, the gay guys, too!

Join a gym.

Look in the New Yorker in the section at the beginning where they have listings about what's going on and look for 'Above and Beyond.' It has lectures, readings, etc. Many are free.

Check out some of the lecture series at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the 92nd St Y.

Sign up for a series of wine tastings (one of my best friend met her husband doing this).

Look at the classes at the Institute for Culinary Education: some one time Saturday classes aren't expensive and you have to work with your classmates.

Volunteer at a hospital.

Go to museums.

It's only been a month! There are tons of opportunities for you to meet people!

[NooYowkur81]

Originally Posted by SobroGuy

well if you live in NYC, you pretty much do have to look at ghetto people all day, unless you stay locked in your apt and/or never leave a 3 block radius. Since you have gay men around...start by making friends with the gay dudes....they will treat you like one of the "girls", take you out, and introduce you to lots of people. It's a good start. If all else fails, put an ad on "Casual Encounters" on craigslist with a pic and you will miraculously find LOTS of new friends..I guarantee.

Sobro I hope you were trying to be funny with your craigslist advice. That's horrible advice.

[SobroGuy]

Danameless, the issue was not "all NYC residents look ghetto." We know this is not true. The issue is "you get stuck looking at ghetto-ass people all day" and if you live in this city (and not just hibernate in your room under the covers), you realize that you are exposed to ghetto people all the time, on a daily basis, depending of course on where you live and how hard you work at not being around them. Nevertheless you CANNOT avoid them..that is life in the city. And if you ride the trains, walk around anywhere, you will no doubt be exposed to them ALOT. The boyfriend made a valid point...the city, and dealing with the ghetto element (even if you just have to see them/hear them) is certianly not for everyone.

[cazattack]

yeah i'm def not going the casual encounters route. lol. i'm not necessarily looking to date, but wouldnt mind it if the oppurtunity presented itself. As of now i find that im just terribly busy. i started a live in weekend nany job last week so that leaves out anything friday night- monday morning, then i intern tues- thurs. i did find a free yoga clas but its been delayed due to the holidays.
i think its difficult for me to find like-minded friends because while im intelligent and mature when it comes to my job(s) and im not a partier by any means (ive been here a month and gone out once. lol) and im pretty shy, i'm also goofy and kind of immature in that sense...it seems anyone with similar intelligence/career orientation to me ive met doesnt have the same free fun spirit as i do.

thanks for the good advice, keep it rolling, hehe

[cazattack]

also, i dont think people are ghetto looking. some yes, most not. either way doesnt bother me, its a part of life here. with the internship crowd, my biggest problem is that theyre not very friendly, ive tried. though my boss is pretty cool, its kinda hard to be buddies with your boss. and also while i see gay guys in my building, none of them work anywhere near me, i see them in the elevator. i would love a gay man best friend. lol in fact i have one at home upstate.