Gay male Moving to Bay Ridge from So Calif (New York: home, neighborhood) - City-Data Forum

Ujeff · 02-25-2009, 05:54 PM

Hello to anyone who bothers to respond to this...and thank you in advance.
I am a gay male 49 moving from So Calif to Bay Ridge. The company I worked for in So Cal went out of business, my partner left me and we sold our house. My sister in law offered for me to live with her in Bay Ridge so I could go to school (graphic arts) in NY. I am going to desperately miss my friends (gay and straight) and I was wondering where I could meet like minded people (gay and straight, not into partying) who are not insane. Any suggestions?

bluedog2 · 02-25-2009, 06:03 PM

You are looking for sanity and moving to New York ?

NJ Chutzpah · 02-25-2009, 06:40 PM

you will find many who are similar to you in gentrified nabes in Manhattan like Chelsea for example

tpk-nyc · 02-26-2009, 09:17 AM

The are plenty of gay men, of all ages and interests, in the city. There's not a particularly high concentration of them in Bay Ridge, but you should have no problem finding people who share your interests and tastes.

I would caution against going back to school for graphic design. Graphic designers, especially gay graphic designers, are a dime-a-dozen in this town. Any vaguely creative/artistic job is very trendy and extraordinarily competitive. A lot of these people are suffering because of the economy (with the cutbacks in advertising, etc.). You're going to be competing for entry-level jobs with 22-year-olds with degrees from RISD, Parsons and Pratt.

By all means study what you want to study if you find it interesting. However, if you're looking to stay in New York after school and make a career in graphics, you're going to have a very tough time.

It seems that every 20-something in the country wants to live here and have a creative, Sex-In-The-City-type career: fashion, journalism, design, film/TV, advertising, non-profit administration, etc. Competition for these jobs is brutal.

zonababe · 02-26-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ujeff

Hello to anyone who bothers to respond to this...and thank you in advance.
I am a gay male 49 moving from So Calif to Bay Ridge. The company I worked for in So Cal went out of business, my partner left me and we sold our house. My sister in law offered for me to live with her in Bay Ridge so I could go to school (graphic arts) in NY. I am going to desperately miss my friends (gay and straight) and I was wondering where I could meet like minded people (gay and straight, not into partying) who are not insane. Any suggestions?

Bay Ridge is a nice neighborhood, however you will have to travel into the city for school, work, arts and entertainment. The commute can be brutal at times. I owned a home in the Fort Hamilton section of Bay Ridge and rented to gay friends. They were not into partying and enjoyed the relatively quiet and safe location. Best of luck in your new location.

I_Love_LI_but · 02-26-2009, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tpk-nyc

I would caution against going back to school for graphic design. Graphic designers, especially gay graphic designers, are a dime-a-dozen in this town. Any vaguely creative/artistic job is very trendy and extraordinarily competitive. A lot of these people are suffering because of the economy (with the cutbacks in advertising, etc.). You're going to be competing for entry-level jobs with 22-year-olds with degrees from RISD, Parsons and Pratt.

As someone with a degree from one of the above prestigious art schools that never used the degree once I got it because I couldn't afford to take the pay cut, I agree that this is not a great field to go into right now. It is nowhere near as respected as it once was. With some of the "plug and play" software out there people think they can be their own graphic designer, web designer, etc. Then there are the offshore "graphic designers" on sites like elance operating the plug and play software who charge pennies on the dollar to provide the clients who are "computer shy" with hideous cheesy design and are hired because they are CHEAP and the client does not understand what a real designer can do for them and goes for the cheap crap.

Another thing is that you are 49 years old and will definitely face age discrimination. Young is in! Nobody gets hired for an entry-level graphic design position that is over 30. At your age even people with experience have trouble finding positions because "young, fresh, hip, edgy, etc." is in and they think older people don't have it.

joebot · 02-26-2009, 10:01 AM

You have my sympathy. I am a married 32 yr old guy who moved from Santa Monica to Bay Ridge 3 years ago. Prepare yourself for an old school neighborhood mentality. For culture be ready to travel to Manhattan or certain progressive parts of Brooklyn. That said, there will be no shortage of quality food in Bay Ridge. Overall, you will be culture shocked. I wish you the best.

nativebrooklynite · 02-26-2009, 10:13 AM

I am a young gay woman and thought I would answer. Bay Ridge is a nice area for the most part but don't expect to just walk into your neighborhood bar. For your entertainment needs, get to know your subway map 'cause you are honestly going to be hanging out in Manhattan a lot. Gay life in Brooklyn is more centered around cafes in Park Slope and is more lesbian-oriented (think the L Word but with less money, LOL). Though with gentrification the cafe scene has spread to Fort Greene, and other nabes. Bay Ridge is sadly out of the loop, there are still too many old guard Italians there, though this is changing (especially as it's turning into a Chinatown). Chelsea in Manhattan is pretty much where it's at, though the West Village is still a stronghold and SoHo and the Meat Packing District (I refuse to call it "MeatPa" or whatever) is more for trendies of every persuasion.

The good thing though is no matter what you're into you can find somewhere to hang out and people to hang out with. I won't lie, there has been a slight uptick in bashings lately in NYC but that is true all over the country. I think you'll like it here, just keep in mind that graphic design is a bad thing to be getting into now in NY. I say this as someone who is currently going back to school for it and probably changing majors.

slopecouple · 02-27-2009, 08:41 AM

Hi there - I live in Park Slope with my partner and would generally agree with everything posted here. Bay Ridge DOES have a fair number of gay people, but it's a more traditional New York neighborhood that is a bit more socially conservative than you're used to. While Park Slope is more traditionally known as a lesbian neighborhood, the South Slope (south of 9th Street) has a large number of gay men and is readily accessible from Bay Ridge. As with most of the Brooklyn scene, you won't find any gay bars... gays tend to go to Manhattan for a night out on the town. instead, just about every establishment in South Slope is gay friendly and gay staffed, you wont have any problems fitting in here.

Ujeff · 02-27-2009, 07:29 PM

Thank you all for your responses. Shall I shoot myself now? LOL I don't plan on staying in New York, just want to take some classes to gain some technical knowledge and then go from there to wherever there is less competition. I do understand the age issue but I have to go with what my talent is and what I love. I've done jobs all my life that I hated, now its time to try what I love...at least try. If after these classes I have to go to...say...Paducah KY because there might be no competition there...then so be it. LOL Even if I can manage to barely make a living doing it...believe me it's worth it. Making a lot of money doing something you hate...isnt. I know some of you might now say...why come to NY for the schooling, well, the classes at SVA are exactly what I want and are cheaper than similar classes here in So Calif.