Having problems fitting in in Park Slope (Inwood, Howard: lease, home)
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Please don't flame, but I've been having a bad experience with Park slope since we've moved here in January. I am a 25 year old stay at home mom to a one year old. We are an interracial couple (DH is white, I am Dominican/Haitian). It has now become VERY apparent that other mothers/people in general here are not friendly to me, or will not speak to me if I try to interact with them in public (the playground with my son, stores. etc). It's mostly the moms here to be honest. Totally different story when I'm with my husband. I am the LAST person to ever think people are behaving a certain way towards me because of my ethnicity, but I'm really starting to feel that way. Or is it because I'm a younger mother? or I look like I may be a nanny? Does anyone have suggestions for other neighborhoods that would be more suited for a young interracial family, that is safe and has good schools. I'm really so over park slope at this point. we have been here almost 3 months now, and have yet to make even an acquaintance, or another mom willing to set up play dates with me and our children.
Do you like Park Slope otherwise? I mean you don't always have to like your neighbors.
Also do you have any specific examples of people treating you badly, or is it just a feeling you get? Have you yourself been friendly to others?
How are things different when you are with your hubby?
Park Slope has a rep for being very snobby but I gotta believe there's at least a few nice non-judgmental people around.
I do like it very much otherwise, but I would like to not feel like an outcast at the park with my son. Specific examples are saying hello to trying to start a convo with someone and getting a blank stare and a cold shoulder back. Believe me, I am taken aback at how often this has happened to me here. When I'm with my husband, I get responses, we get conversations with people- it's weird. I don't know, maybe it's because I look so young? (If I'm not dressed up, I easily look 18-19).
Are there any other less snobby neighborhoods around? with younger families? we are open to living pretty much anywhere but the suburbs once our lease is up.
I guess it's maybe because you don't fit the profile of 2009 park slope inhabitant. But whatever. I'm embarrassed as a NooYowkur to hear stuff like that still goes on. People need to get over themselves. We are all mere mortals.
Mod cut: TOS violation
I would look into Jackson Heights, Astoria, Forest Hills. Riverdale in the Bronx. Queens overall tends to be less snobbier. Maybe Inwood in Manhattan. I honestly don't know too much about Brooklyn. Some other posters in the NYC forum could offer some neighborhoods in Brooklyn that would work out well for you.
Last edited by Viralmd; 03-27-2009 at 03:47 PM..
Reason: TOS violation
I must say I am a little surprised to hear this about Park Slope. If you said Bensonhurst or Howard Beach or Woodlawn I wouldn't be so surprised. Maybe Park Slope has finally gotten to the point where it needs to get over itself. I don't know because I live in Bronx and haven't been there in a few years.
I would give it a while longer and see if the warmer weather changes peoples attitudes or brings nicer people out.I know I don't give anyone any time in the winter when I feel like I am freezing my ass off.
I must say I am a little surprised to hear this about Park Slope. If you said Bensonhurst or Howard Beach or Woodlawn I wouldn't be so surprised. Maybe Park Slope has finally gotten to the point where it needs to get over itself. I don't know because I live in Bronx and haven't been there in a few years.
I would give it a while longer and see if the warmer weather changes peoples attitudes or brings nicer people out.I know I don't give anyone any time in the winter when I feel like I am freezing my ass off.
Good point about the weather blue, and I think she has some time before the lease runs out to think things through.
OP, how is the hubby doing socially? Has he had a better go of it?
He's been working way too much to socialize, so anything he's done has been with me. And it's totally fine when he's around. We would really love to find an integrated as opposed to a gentrified area. and yes, I supposed the weather may have something to do with people? I grew up in GA in a small town where everyone said hi to each other and smiled! I got a shock when we moved to CT, and it seems worse here!
He's been working way too much to socialize, so anything he's done has been with me. And it's totally fine when he's around. We would really love to find an integrated as opposed to a gentrified area. and yes, I supposed the weather may have something to do with people? I grew up in GA in a small town where everyone said hi to each other and smiled! I got a shock when we moved to CT, and it seems worse here!
Why are your original posts empty now?
People here can be really friendly. I'm sorry to hear things haven't worked out for you in park slope. But thankfully it's a big city with all kinds of neighborhoods. You should be able to find something that will work out for you well. Good luck.
Honestly I would not worry to much about it. You cannot control how others feel about you. It stinks if they treat you that way but as a American white male I was always treated the same way by polish people in greenpoint. They did not like me because I was different from them. After a while you just don't care anymore what they think and you go on about your life. You would probably like williamsburg a bit more.
One thing I wonder, howver, is whether or not you are making contact with mothers during the week. I have friends and relatives in Park Slope and the reason why they live there as opposed to Westchester, NJ, or LI is because both spouses work long hours. Just about anyone has a nanny or au pair, and they would likely be at the park during daytime hours. Just a thought.
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Other family friendly neighborhoods besides Park Slope, Brooklyn
