I'm coming on late to this thread and will admit that I don't know everything about your situation. But I DO want to encourage you to try new things and to invest in yourself and your happiness.
I will agree that most native New Yorkers have no idea what its live to live in the burbs (a lot of my friends were born and bred here, but I'm a Jersey girl at heart). It will take a lot of metal reconfiguration to make the move, so I suggest you take a long vacation to several of the places you're looking to move, and try it out. Pick a city. Find the supermarkets. Learn to do your own laundry (vs wash by the pound) and navigate highways. And figure out if the lack of conveniences is really worth it. Once you live in New York, there really isn't a place on the world quite like it. But it can suck your soul dry!
Personally, I visited Denver back in October and I loved it. I think its urban enough to not be a huge adjustment, but beautiful and quiet to hopefully make your heart happy
But do a lot of research - its a huge move after all and places like Seattle or Oakland or Charlotte might be good fits too. Best of luck!