Am I a quitter if I leave Manhattan? (New York, White Plains: appointed, apartment) - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

Henna · 02-16-2010, 07:20 PM

I think the problem is the people you are spending your time with. It is a serious problem if the people you are meeting here have only two agendas - getting drunk and trying to get you into bed.

The red flag on that one should be what *you* are doing or not doing to make new friends. Since you love food, that is the perfect way to make some new friends. Sure, maybe you can't make fabulous dinner parties, but there are plenty of people who meet by doing things like the 5-boro pizza tour and many excursions into outerborough neighborhoods for ethnic cuisine that would be hard to find in many other areas of the country.

It takes time to make new friends, but you have to put yourself into situations where you repeatedly see the same people. If the group meets once a month, it may take 6 months to really feel like you know people. On the other hand, if you meet people you like the first time, you can make plans to get together again even when the group is not meeting.

Read chowhound and the many nyc foodie blogs to see when and how people are getting together, and go join them.

Irish Eyes · 02-16-2010, 07:59 PM

I've always tried to stick it out a year before leaving a job. You're not a quitter if you just don't like living in Manhattan!

mjaan · 02-16-2010, 08:01 PM

See that's just it...I don't want to quit the job.

nycgirl1616 · 02-16-2010, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Eyes

I've always tried to stick it out a year before leaving a job. You're not a quitter if you just don't like living in Manhattan!

I agree. I would try to stay the year and then relocate somewhere else. Manhattan is not for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't listen to the negative poster on this thread who isn't even from NY. I love how these people who came from god knows where think they know everything about Manhattan and have this ridiculous idea about how perfect NYC is and if someone doesn't agree with them they get flamed on here. I am a native NYer and honestly, after 5 years of living in Manhattan I had enough too. After your year is up, see if there is any opportunity to transfer to another location within the same company and if not, there are ways to leave a job without burning your bridges. Good luck, and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Island_OnThe_Land · 02-17-2010, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjaan

Agreed. I appreciate the sincere feedback from everyone else.

A question for those with more professional/corporate experience than me...how bad will it look on my resume to have less than a year with my employer?

I really think this should be your ONLY concern...forget what anyone else thinks.

I think the answer depends on what industry you are in and how much prior experience you have. For example, if this was your first job out of college I think you'd be wise to stick it out until you hit one year.

That said, if you have a prior history of staying at jobs for more than 1 year I think it is much less of an issue.

I lived in Manhattan for approx. 2 years. Enjoyed it very much. Ultimately, the parochial attitudes of NYC residents similar to ones expressed in this thread are PART of the reason I left. How could you possibly want to leave the "greatest city on earth"...??? Give me a break!!!

Good luck to you whatever YOU DECIDE is best for you.

OyCrumbler · 02-17-2010, 03:06 AM

I think relocation to another part of the city might actually be a good middle ground rather than outright leaving the city. You can certainly get more space for your money and still have great transit and dining options in parts of the outer boroughs.

Have you made a large move before (did you move from somewhere else to Central Florida?)? It's almost always hard to meet new people whose company you truly enjoy when moving, and overall, I think NYC is actually one of the easier places to make the transition due to the sheer variety and density of people, the large transplant (including recently transplanted) population, and the variety of activities you can engage in to find people of similar interests. It's still difficult for many, but with a good lot of effort and reflection on what you want, it could be done.

RussianIvanov · 02-17-2010, 07:53 AM

The city is not for everyone. If you do not like it, save the hassle and move. What do you want us to say? Take the job with you to Little Rock? You are going to have to give something up.

movingwiththewind · 02-17-2010, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjaan

I moved to Manhattan in a whirlwind Fall 2009. I thought it had been a dream of mine to live here. The culture, food, and night life were the big draw as well as career opportunities. I was sure that the inconveniences that are inherent in city-living would be far outweighed by the benefits.

It's only been about 4 months and I'm already planning my escape. Here is my current assessment:

Weather: even though I came from a warm climate, I enjoy the winter and the cold is not an issue for me.
Career: I have a good (but replaceable) job at an amazing company
Salary: I get paid less here than my last job if you properly adjust for cost of living
Living: I have the fortune of having a true 1 bedroom and not having to have roommates, but my space is 1/3 of what I moved from, and while clean, nothing compared to what I'm used to.
Hobbies: my life up to this point had been defined by my love of cooking and entertaining. Neither of which I can really do here (at least not at the level that makes it definable as a hobby)
Friends: I have a handful of "friends" here, but nothing remotely of substance compared to those I have elsewhere. Making additional friends is proving challenging as people are interested in one of two things (1) constantly getting wasted or (2) getting in my pants

So my question is this...if I leave around the 6 month mark, am I a quitter? Is it common for people to come and leave Manhattan so crazily? Or is it okay that I've accepted that the city is not for me and to move on before enduring anymore?

Even if it's harsh, I'd love your input!

You're not a quitter. 4-6 months are enough to find out if a place is for you. Listen to your heart and not what other people say. If being happy is very different from being in Manhattan for you, why stay longer and endure more? For many people who want to move here, Manhattan is just an idea, a dream that has nothing to do with reality. In reality, Manhattan is like everywhere else. Especially, if you live your everyday life here. It becomes a routine like everywhere else. Definitely not a dream, and it looks like you figured it out for yourself.

Fred314X · 02-17-2010, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjaan

So my question is this...if I leave around the 6 month mark, am I a quitter? Is it common for people to come and leave Manhattan so crazily? Or is it okay that I've accepted that the city is not for me and to move on before enduring anymore?

You only made one tiny little mistake: you moved to Manhattan rather than Brooklyn!

Mr.Triny33 · 02-17-2010, 10:16 AM

To each is own, at the end of the day, the most important thing is that your happy. Some people happen to find out what makes them happy quicker than others, so if you really feel unhappy here, I'd say move. Your not a quitter, at least you tried, and there are a lot of people who are afraid to do that..