Feeling unmotivated/low key depressed after relocation/big life change? (New York: sales, home) - (NY) - City-Data Forum

logix1229 · 11-14-2016, 05:18 PM

Hello all,

I know this isn't a "therapy" site or anything of that nature but I'd like to see if anyone else has been through this experience and could share their thoughts/opinions/etc...

I recently relocated from California (Los Angeles) to Upstate New York (Syracuse). I've been here for about 5 months now and I can't help but honestly feel unmotivated and somewhat depressed. (nothing severe, I don't think).

So being 29 years old, I'm very ambitious about my personal/professional goals and I aspire to achieve success professionally. I took a promotion for my job and picked up my entire life and moved across the country. I left everything I knew back in California....Family, friends, pets, everything. I don't know a single person here in NY and it's really hard to meet new friends as I don't work in the same location every day. I work in sales and my territory spans the entire state of NY except NYC and LI. I see practically new faces every day so it's hard to connect on that level with people.

Coming from the "city" like Los Angeles, to a mostly "rural" area like upstate new york, it's been a very shocking/big transition. It's definitely an adjustment and I'm still trying to adjust. I spend a lot of time behind the wheel driving from one location to the next and recently, i just feel disconnected. When I drive to some parts of the state, i can't help but feel so out of place because it's so rural and I've grown up my whole life in "city and urban" locations. Being young, energetic, I feed off the "hustle & bustle" of a city environment. I can't do that when i drive around and see farmland and cows everywhere.

When I'm in LA or NYC, i feel "alive/energized" as you'd say...As the saying goes, "NYC, the city lights that will make you feel brand new."

Just simply being there made me ambitious to succeed and "go get it!" I feel like I've taken a serious decline in my motivation because my environment and my surrounding just doesn't cut it for me. I'm trying my best to stay optimistic and perform as my highest ability for my employer but no matter what, I just can't seem to keep a focus like I did when I was in LA.

I know most of you will say "go find another job in the city" or "go back to LA" or whatever, which is valid but I want to give this the best shot I can. I mean nothing negative towards upstate of the "rural" part of the state,it's a beautiful state but it's just hard for someone my age to transition here from a "city" life style. If I had a family, wife, or kids, this would be totally different as this environment would be ideal for me to raise a family in but I'm just not there yet...

I am normally the person who wants to go out, get friends together, go check things out but since being here, I've been less inclined to do anything, at all. I'd rather just come home from work, eat some food, and watch tv. On the weekends, I don't desire to go "explore" anything. I stay in to watch tv or if I'm really bored, I catch myself going to the mall/target several times a week just to kill time and I always buy useless crap to make me feel temporary happiness. I didn't realize this until recently when I sat down to analyze my recent spending and I realized I just keep buying stuff for no reason. I guess it's my way of distracting myself from being so lonely/bored.

Has anyone else gone through an experience like this? If you've experienced this and have been able to turn it around, I'd appreciate any feedback/input you have. I don't want to be that person who "quits" because he couldn't do it. I want to do my best, given the circumstances but I'll admit that it's pretty difficult.

ckhthankgod · 11-14-2016, 06:11 PM

What are some personal interests that you like to take part in? What are things that you would do during your days off/down time if you were in L.A. that could possibly be transferred to your current location?

Also, do you think it is a matter of the transient(for a lack of a better word) nature of the job that plays a part in your feelings?

logix1229 · 11-14-2016, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckhthankgod

What are some personal interests that you like to take part in? What are things that you would do during your days off/down time if you were in L.A. that could possibly be transferred to your current location?

Also, do you think it is a matter of the transient(for a lack of a better word) nature of the job that plays a part in your feelings?

I don't think it's the job. My role is very similar to what I used to do back in LA except a bigger territory and more responsibility on the sales side of it. I can do the job with little issues except typical resistance to sales here and there that goes with any sales job.

In my off time, I didn't really have any specific hobbies. I always ended up hanging out with friends/family, go out to dinner, etc. i don't want to blame the disconnect on the social aspect of things because I'm no stranger to being "alone & independent". I'm an only child so I grew up doing things on my own. I Think it has to do more with the environment change...I think.

Iching · 11-14-2016, 07:53 PM

You left LA for Syracuse? What were you thinking? lol Upstate NY is like rural Georgia. It's unfortunate you don't cover NYC/LI, you would love it. Remember, don't move further than Dutchess/Ulster County in NY.

logix1229 · 11-14-2016, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iching

You left LA for Syracuse? What were you thinking? lol Upstate NY is like rural Georgia. It's unfortunate you don't cover NYC/LI, you would love it. Remember, don't move further than Dutchess/Ulster County in NY.

Originally i was supposed to be in the NYC territory but a senior rep applied for the position and rightfully so, they gave it to him. They offered me the Upstate territory so i took it because I wanted the opportunity.

Trust me, I wanted NYC so so bad...haha.

ckhthankgod · 11-15-2016, 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iching

You left LA for Syracuse? What were you thinking? lol Upstate NY is like rural Georgia. It's unfortunate you don't cover NYC/LI, you would love it. Remember, don't move further than Dutchess/Ulster County in NY.

I wouldn't say that Upstate NY is like rural GA. That does make sense for multiple reasons like demographics and one region has a mix. In fact, the bigger Upstate counties are likely more urban and culturally diverse than either Ulster or Dutchess counties.

ckhthankgod · 11-15-2016, 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by logix1229

I don't think it's the job. My role is very similar to what I used to do back in LA except a bigger territory and more responsibility on the sales side of it. I can do the job with little issues except typical resistance to sales here and there that goes with any sales job.

In my off time, I didn't really have any specific hobbies. I always ended up hanging out with friends/family, go out to dinner, etc. i don't want to blame the disconnect on the social aspect of things because I'm no stranger to being "alone & independent". I'm an only child so I grew up doing things on my own. I Think it has to do more with the environment change...I think.

So it appears that the disconnect is from family and a familiar support system. Sometimes people can underestimate how important that can be until they separate from it.

Area size and the change in weather/season may also play a part as well.

Have you looked into Meetups or networking events in the local area? Do you think that there may be a cultural aspect that plays a part in this as well?

logix1229 · 11-15-2016, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckhthankgod

So it appears that the disconnect is from family and a familiar support system. Sometimes people can underestimate how important that can be until they separate from it.

Area size and the change in weather/season may also play a part as well.

Have you looked into Meetups or networking events in the local area? Do you think that there may be a cultural aspect that plays a part in this as well?

Of course being away from family and friends will have an impact but I can't say that's to blame. Even when I was back in LA, i was close to family and friends in proximity (somewhat) but I didn't see them all the time.

I think it's the environment...I just don't feed off the energy when i go about my daily business....I mean how can I? I spend hours on the road every day...driving through rural parts of the state...seeing endless cows...and farms...not really exciting (no offense).

I'm just trying to see if there's a "fix" for this? Will it change with time? I know i'm still very new to the area and what not but I'm trying my best to see the brighter side of things but I think it's hard simply because i grew up in the city all my life. I guess i'm just used to it.

ckhthankgod · 11-15-2016, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by logix1229

Of course being away from family and friends will have an impact but I can't say that's to blame. Even when I was back in LA, i was close to family and friends in proximity (somewhat) but I didn't see them all the time.

I think it's the environment...I just don't feed off the energy when i go about my daily business....I mean how can I? I spend hours on the road every day...driving through rural parts of the state...seeing endless cows...and farms...not really exciting (no offense).

I'm just trying to see if there's a "fix" for this? Will it change with time? I know i'm still very new to the area and what not but I'm trying my best to see the brighter side of things but I think it's hard simply because i grew up in the city all my life. I guess i'm just used to it.

You never go to the cities in Upstate NY? It isn't all cows and farms. Did you ever go any else in CA outside of L.A.?

logix1229 · 11-15-2016, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckhthankgod

You never go to the cities in Upstate NY? It isn't all cows and farms. Did you ever go any else in CA outside of L.A.?

I do go to the cities. I've gone to all the major cities...buffalo...albany...rochester...syacuse... etc.

I drive all over the state....and most of my work accounts are located in small towns n villages...farm land...etc.