Warnings of moving to the south (New York, Liberty: apartment complex, university, maintenance)

[hew2a]

Originally Posted by ClarkStreetKid

We got used to the way Southerner's put good manners above directness and did just fine while having quite a bit of fun at their expense.

Wow! Dare I say this sums it up. What a true statement. I guess it is one of those things that's kinda understood living here. I think I even do it at times.

But the whole thing about selling the house back...that's just crazy!

[hew2a]

Originally Posted by mhogan10010

hew2a
I was politely told by one of the deacons that I had stayed too long. "that preacher won't ever go home"
People are funny.

Sorry you had to go through that Yeah people are funny.


I'm still amazed at the couple wanting their house back and the neighbors basically forming a "posse". Ha! That's so crazy. But it doesn't surprise me.

There for sure is a "good ole boy" comradery in the South. That thing is alive and doing very well. I think that's one reason I'm ready to get out for a minute. I'm sure it's anywhere in some form or fashion(race, sex preference, gender, etc.), but it's very healthy here...

[ClarkStreetKid]

Originally Posted by hew2a

But the whole thing about selling the house back...that's just crazy!

But that's what River Road was like, a lot of old Richmond money and families and my brother in-law from NJ was an outsider. Heck I may have tried to run him out of my neighborhood too.

When we first moved down here we had to get our Richmond friends over waiting to be invited over. We said stop in anytime and meant it, but that's not what they understood. Then they'd call first which we felt was unnecessary but we learned to live with it. With the influx of outsiders things have changed a quite a bit, so Richmond isn't so bad anymore, though it does still give Yankee's with a few extra bucks wanting to be all fancy something to do. Yankees love to put on a bit of the old South now and then.

[hew2a]

Originally Posted by ClarkStreetKid

though it does still give Yankee's with a few extra bucks wanting to be all fancy something to do. Yankees love to put on a bit of the old South now and then.

Ha! Yeah...that's what did it. Rubbing in the ole face! Gotta love it. I'm the same way. Funny that some good friends of mine, married couple who live in Brentwood, invite me over and I always call first before I go. Just manners I think, but to them it's probably like "why does he feel he has to call?" And they too are Yankees. The husband is from Baltimore and his wife's from Pittsburg. They always have said they feel like outsiders. I'm sure there's truth to it. BUt just being hinest, I don't think it's like that in the Black community. The majority of my dad's family lives up north. And I don't call them Yankees. I just think it's funny how backwards they think we are. True, there are a lot of things we didn't grow up with, but we're not dumb. I don't think black people push other black people from up north away. I have noticed that many blacks who were born in the South and move up north come back with an aire about them. Like "I've made it, too bad for you." But that's every now and then. I think many blacks who come to the south now who were born up North actually come back to find some connection to ancestry. Being that the South is kinda like the starting point for ALL African Americans. Everyone's ancestry starts here. Unless your kin to Alex Haley.

[citychik]

Originally Posted by hew2a

I think many blacks who come to the south now who were born up North actually come back to find some connection to ancestry. Being that the South is kinda like the starting point for ALL African Americans. Everyone's ancestry starts here. Unless your kin to Alex Haley.

Actually, the South was not the only starting point. Many Northern blacks came to NYC from the Caribbean, as my ancestors did in the late 1800's from St. Croix. When Southern blacks looking to escape Southern oppression came up to NYC in great numbers, they were sometimes resented by Caribbean blacks who had worked hard to establish themselves in Harlem and East Harlem had a very different culture and sense of identity. To this day, many Caribbean blacks prefer not to be called "African American" (identifying themselves, instead, either as "black" or by the country they or their family is from, i.e., "St. Lucian," "Haitian," etc.) and still do not want to be confused with Southern blacks (I have been told this more than once by black people with ties to the islands). Just something I learned in researching my heritage.

~~D~~

[ClarkStreetKid]

Originally Posted by hew2a

Funny that some good friends of mine, married couple who live in Brentwood, invite me over and I always call first before I go. Just manners I think, but to them it's probably like "why does he feel he has to call?"

Right, and all it is are slight differences in manners and courtesy, no big deal and something we should be able to adjust to. The trick is learning the rules. We brought a friend up from Richmond for our wedding on LI and took her to lunch at a busy pizza parlor. She was shocked that when it was her turn to order and she said "Hmmm, I think I'll have, hmmmm...", that the guy barked out "Next!". To her it was her turn and he should have waited, but to everyone else there it was rude to wait on line for 5 minutes and not know what you were going to order. People have to be served because they have to get back to work. And let me tell you that she looked like a deer in the headlights when he turned to her twice more asking "You ready?" Poor girl didn't know the rules and shame on us for forgetting to explain them to her. Maybe we need a faq on does and don'ts for sons and daughters of Dixie who are going to visit New Yawk.

[jedwardjos]

Originally Posted by ClarkStreetKid

Right, and all it is are slight differences in manners and courtesy, no big deal and something we should be able to adjust to. The trick is learning the rules. We brought a friend up from Richmond for our wedding on LI and took her to lunch at a busy pizza parlor. She was shocked that when it was her turn to order and she said "Hmmm, I think I'll have, hmmmm...", that the guy barked out "Next!". To her it was her turn and he should have waited, but to everyone else there it was rude to wait on line for 5 minutes and not know what you were going to order. People have to be served because they have to get back to work. And let me tell you that she looked like a deer in the headlights when he turned to her twice more asking "You ready?" Poor girl didn't know the rules and shame on us for forgetting to explain them to her. Maybe we need a faq on does and don'ts for sons and daughters of Dixie who are going to visit New Yawk.

Sounds like the soup Nazi from "Seinfeld" is now in the pizza business. "No pizza for you! Next!"

[hew2a]

Originally Posted by citychik

Actually, the South was not the only starting point.

~~D~~

Very true...my apologies for forgetting those from the Carribbean. I saw that in Hartford. I guess I automatically default to the South, slavery, and the Civil Rights movement.

But even those from the West Indies aren't "truly" West Indian. I mean shouldn't they be calling themselves "African-Jamaican" or "African-Haitian"? Just saying. As the "big ship" made it's rounds they were dropped of in the West Indies just like we "African Americans" were dropped off in America.

Anyways...good point.

[hew2a]

Originally Posted by ClarkStreetKid

Poor girl didn't know the rules and shame on us for forgetting to explain them to her. Maybe we need a faq on does and don'ts for sons and daughters of Dixie who are going to visit New Yawk.

That I love about you Northerners. Order and efficiency. Gotta love it.

Crazy you mentioned that, because last night my girfriend and I went to pick up a pizza. The lady behind the counter asks the guy in front of us "May I help you?" This guy proceeds to pull out his cell phone, calls someone and says "Okay, I'm here...what do you want?" I couldn't believe it. Everyone in the line is just looking at this guy like..."are you for real?" Luckily whoever he called had already placed the order, and the Pizzeria had it ready to go. But just the nerve of that guy was amazing. I immediately thought, if this guy had have done this in Manhattan, it would probably have beeen over for him.

[Tama]

I tried to read thru the thread so as not to be repetitive but it is sooo long. So forgive please.
I was raised in the east in a small town and lived in one of the big cities. Moved south thirty years ago. Mississippi. Listen, folks. The South has changed. There are wonderful areas, friendly people, and lots of kindness. They actually smile at you.
I love NY and visit whenever I go home. Home will always be the East. But be fair. There are pockets of old time stuff and backwardness, but there are other places that are just fine here even in the Deep South. Yes, Floridians, and my parents lived there, are rude. Transplants? They are not southerners except in the Panhandle and points inland.
In my former city I remember getting barked at when I asked a question of someone on the phone. My first shock when I came south was that the person on the other end apoligized for not having the item in stock and asked the other employees where this nice lady could find such and such. And it has been like that ever since.
Yes-they can be clannish. They will hear your accent and inquire about it. So what? They are family and church-oriented. They are still a little intimidated by strangers in their midst. They don't have great Italian food. They love their southern roots. Embrace it. Look for the new and be adventurous. It took me a long time to realize that I couldn't keep looking back. Don't blame the locals if you can't adjust.
Yes-you are a Yankee. Don't be uptight about it. Be friendly and not defensive. They will joke with you then about the whole Yankee thing. Remember they are still suffering in places from the War(hard for a northener to believe but the recovery is still going on economically) and you have to realize that it was a tremendous assault on them. As for racism and diversity--I live in Mississippi and on my street we have blacks, whites, foreign born, widows, and families.
As I said I love my roots also. But behold the city of Atlanta, for example, a gleaming shining example of the new South. Take the chip off, let down the defenses, smile, and chat, and ask about family--you will slowly-very slowly--be let in--and it is a wonderful place to be.