Warnings of moving to the south (New York, Buffalo: houses, rent, motel)

[INeedAChange]

I asked Brian1970 a specific question about the job market, not for a rude rant from you directed at me. How outrageous. Are you sure you're from the South? Most southern people I've met have some manners.

Originally Posted by hew2a

I NeedAChange

Look...I'm going to put it to you like this (and then I'm done with this board).

It's the South. Like anywhere there is good and bad. Yeah, there are clicks. Like anywhere. So WHAT! There are TONS of people who are ready to welcome you as a friend and even introduce you to even more people.

Two of my friends (a married couple) just moved here from New Jersey. The husband has made so many friends and connections he can't keep up with people. But his wife (who's a lot more reserved) hasn't made as many. She can't understand how he meets so many people. Regardless, they both love it here. And let me add, as an interracial couple he was quick to correct me when I blindly assumed he's met more racism here than in NY&NJ.

Bottom line is FL or NC is probably not going to be like your present home. I think you need to really ask yourself if you truly want a change. And if so, how much of a change. It's the South. Not the North, not the West, but the South. It can be a good thing, it can be a bad thing, all in how you approach it. My boss, who's from LA, ABSOLUTELY love Nashville. Says he wishes they ahd moved here sooner. Says he can't find "good Mexican food" and misses Trader Joes, but says he can't wait to come home when he goes back to visit friends and family.

It took me almost 2 years to find a job in my field. Until then I was on my grind (doing what I had to do, legally of course). But isn't that part of life? Nobody is going to give you nothing (unless you're the privaleged) and sometimes there's hurdles to jump. For some more than for others. There aren't as many job opportunities as there are up North. The amount of Fortune 500 Companies headquartered here as compared to up North and the West Coast says a lot.

It may be a culture shock...maybe a major one. But if you're really wanting change, haven't you possibly found what you're looking for? If not, hey find what works. People here do have the stickers, and the rebel flags. But it's not always what you think. Who's to say they didn't buy that sticker after hearing a comment from a Northerner like the ones posted on here? That Comcast commercial where all hell breaks loose in the office is so the truth! Chain reactions. If you come here, will you try break it? If you come here on guard, looking for the slightest resemblance of what you've read on these posts...yeah, you're going to find it. And you'll be on the next plane, bus, or car back home. Writing the Pt. 2 of Warnings of moving to the South.

In a nutshell...do your homework. You may find Miami or Orlando have enough similarities to home, and enough difference from it, to be the perfect fit. Charlotte or Jacksonville may not be the place for you. You might have to hustle for a job...as far as I can see, welcome to the club. Many people I graduated with landed jobs as soon as their graduation caps hit the floor. The "good ole boy" thing is definitely real. But if you're good at what you do, somebody will notice. Everyone who's in a hiring position can't be part of the GOB Club. But all my friends in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and D.C. have told me that it's there too. You just have to stay focused and handle your business. Whining takes up too much time in my book.

I wish you all the best and do hope you find that change you're looking for.

[nocturnal rooster]

I got called a Yankee when I lived in the south so many times. I got so pissed that I fought many people and was in and out of jail while I was down there. It was at that point where I decided to move out and to PA. What another big mistake!

[hew2a]

Okay...after this I'm for real done.

I'm not being rude I NeedAChange . And if my response came off as such, my deepest apologies. Again, I'm just being straight up about this. Especially given the tense tone that this thread has begun to take.

I'm only saying what's real about the South and what's real about the North. You did say you were planning on moving to FL or NC right? You are on here to get advice and opinions, right? I'm just giving you mine. Yes, I'm from the South, Murfreesbro/Nashville to be exact. But I don't get into that. I don't call people Yankees. And I'm glad you all won the war. As far as I'm concerned you're just another person trying to do something to advance/enhance their life.

Many people are saying so many negatives about the two states (let alone the South in general) you mentioned. I'm just letting you know that you are going to have some bad experiences, and some places are worse than others. Many others have posted that people moving from the North to the South might try the more Cosmopolitan cities, but I'm ranting? Yeah, the job market can be tricky. But if you're a hard worker and are good at what you do, you'll be fine. People will have you to believe you won't get a job for years just becasue you're from the North. And that's a lie.

My intent was to hopefully paint a true picture of what you might expect if you move here, not one that's been formed out of bad experiences and yes, sometimes anger. Which has resulted into bashing the South.

So, apologies again if you were offended...that's was not my intention. Just being straight up with you. Sorry if it was a bit too blunt.

[INeedAChange]

ok no harm done. I'm leaving CityData as well, I think. Some nice people here but it's become too time consuming to post on here when I could be planning my move instead.

Originally Posted by hew2a

Okay...after this I'm for real done.

I'm not being rude I NeedAChange . And if my response came off as such, my deepest apologies. Again, I'm just being straight up about this. Especially given the tense tone that this thread has begun to take.

I'm only saying what's real about the South and what's real about the North. You did say you were planning on moving to FL or NC right? You are on here to get advice and opinions, right? I'm just giving you mine. Yes, I'm from the South, Murfreesbro/Nashville to be exact. But I don't get into that. I don't call people Yankees. And I'm glad you all won the war. As far as I'm concerned you're just another person trying to do something to advance/enhance their life.

Many people are saying so many negatives about the two states (let alone the South in general) you mentioned. I'm just letting you know that you are going to have some bad experiences, and some places are worse than others. Many others have posted that people moving from the North to the South might try the more Cosmopolitan cities, but I'm ranting? Yeah, the job market can be tricky. But if you're a hard worker and are good at what you do, you'll be fine. People will have you to believe you won't get a job for years just becasue you're from the North. And that's a lie.

My intent was to hopefully paint a true picture of what you might expect if you move here, not one that's been formed out of bad experiences and yes, sometimes anger. Which has resulted into bashing the South.

So, apologies again if you were offended...that's was not my intention. Just being straight up with you. Sorry if it was a bit too blunt.

[Southlander]

CLIQUES, people, NOT "clicks."
I'm just an ignorant Southerner.

[cjp05]

WoW! All of this North vs. South crap is making me not want to move south. I mean seriously, the war was like 150 yrs ago for goodness sake. Let's please move on already. I am seriously afraid now to move south being a colored(part black), legally blind woman. I am only 20 and find this behavior/mentality atrocious/childish. I just feel as though you southerners wouldn't want someone that is not exactly from well, New Yawk, but the western part of the state down there(especially someone of color). Please soutehrners(and I mean "real" born and raised southerners here)tell me if I am wrong on that assumption please?

[nancysi]

Okay - I am really scared now. I am currently in NYC and have lived in few places in the USA (los angeles, philly, upstate ny, ohio and nj - liked them each for different reasons) but am now relocating to VA (either Richmond or Charlottesville) for a job and am now worried from what I am reading and the sense I am feeling from this site. I have had some very nice and helpful responses for the most part but should I be worried? I am originally Canadian - I came to the USA over 12 years ago to attend a really good grad school - I work as a Professor and after reading all of this - I want to go home. I don't want to stay in America any more. There is so much anger here - why are you all fighting? Make your country better if you don't like something.... for example, I am sure you all know that in 2006 Canada had a re-election fro a new Prime Minister - we switched govt. mid term - we are far from perfect but we try). We never had a war in our country and we make fun of ourselves more than not - if you all don't like each other why are you called the "United" States of America? You should call yourselves "The States". You know, I have come to this country from Canada - I am Ivy League educated - I have won awards - teaching awards as nominated by your American students - and other service awards I also volunteer a great deal - I do more for America than many Americans - and I am visible in the community - I like making the world a better place (well, I try) - that is (for me) the point of living - shouldn't that be what being an "American" is all about? I am wondering now, even though I am not going to what I have seen worded as "the deep south" should I be worried? Will I be treated as an outcast? I am familiar with most of American history - although, not all as I did not grow up here. I am a visible minority - I have light brown/olive skin - here in NYC people mistake me for anything and everything [and I like it - I love culture (s)] but I am Hindu - will I have a problem? I think I should not go to VA .... no really. I am really very sad now .... I miss Canada .... a lot - I am so home sick right now. These posts have made me VERY home sick. I also fear these 'reckless driving' tickets VA seems to have. If you 'know' how each side of the country feels about one another - extend kindness to one another - gently explain to someone how what they said was wrong and why - maybe go out of your way to make the other person feel at home - but I am from Canada, what do I know - America's complicated history is it's own. I guess I myself can attempt extending kindness where I go - but I suppose my fear that it will not work is taking over now - but it does take two if I will be met with hostility than what can I alone do about this? I do know that before God destroy's you - he makes you proud.

[I know I can't believe I mentioned 'God' either - but hey, he is referenced on your money "In God We Trust".]

[ClarkStreetKid]

Don't worry, Richmond and Charlottesville are both very nice places to live. Just remember that the internet is not the real world and people act in ways here that they never would in the real world.

So come on down and enjoy yourself in my adopted home.

[cjp05]

I am scared too. Where should I move down south like I said before without having to worry about my visiion/color of skin/where I am from so much? I mean should I move at all? to Charlotte? to Raleigh? to Charleston, SC? to New Orleans(I have considered it for it's history even though it is I guess conswidered "the deep south")? I mean I have no clue whether to stay here in little old Batavia, NY or move like I wanted to do before seeing all of the hostility from you southerners toward us notherners? I am so confused. What do you southerners want?

[Stac2007]

Well my wife and I are New Yorkers but have family in the south. We have traveled to the south many times and never met anyone who was rude to us. I am not saying that it does not happen but living in the suburbs of NYC, people think the world is all about them. People do have a real attitude and materialism is what New Yorkers are all about. So maybe it’s not the south but the New York attitude that sets southerners off.