Warnings of moving to the south (New York, Ridge: buying a house, buying, professionals)

[Wisteria]

Stac2007: I am not saying that it does not happen but living in the suburbs of NYC, people think the world is all about them. People do have a real attitude and materialism is what New Yorkers are all about. So maybe it’s not the south but the New York attitude that sets southerners off.

I'm from Buffalo, originally, and I recall one time driving down south and I had New York State plates on my car. I was traveling with a friend of mine, and my car broke down on the thruway in Virginia, outside the toll booth. It was about 7 p.m. at night.

I am sure it was because of the New York plates, but the toll people wouldn't even let me use a telephone to call Triple A or an emergency road service. They said we'd have to wait until morning to use the phone! What?? In fact, they made us (I am a very tiny woman, and my friend was a bigger woman, but still) PUSH the car onto the side next to the toll area near where the trucks plowed through. I can tell you we never slept that night. Trucks were rolling past all night long, and I was terrified we'd be crashed into. But would they even let us use a pencil and paper, or the telephone?? NO!

Then in other places, we were constantly called "Yankees!" I was surprised because we did not have an attitude (Buffalo is like the Midwest), and we were very excited about traveling down south. We got attitude from both blacks and whites, so it wasn't a race thing, I think it was a "south thing."

Quite frankly, it scared the heck out of me!! I truly didn't understand it. Oh, in souvenir shops people were "nice," but I'm sure that it was because they were trying to get our business. Obviously, when we had problems (the car) and there WAS help right next to us, they would NOT help us. And the next morning, again, we were called Yankees. I don't think our being treated like that and having New York plates was coincidental.

My ex is Jewish, and my daughter is, therefore, part Jewish. I have told her to never move to the south. Maybe that sounds extreme, but my ex also lived in Florida, and he worked as a waiter for awhile at a big country club around Miami which …. did not allow blacks or Jews! I mean that wasn't that long ago. He "passed" himself off as an "Italian New Yorker," and they never knew……he now lives in Las Vegas.

I was pretty traumatized by being there. My younger sister and her family lived in Virginia one year – that was all they could take. This was only a few years ago, and she said that people would constantly remark: "My, so many of you Yankees are movin' here…." She didn't want her kids raised in that atmosphere, so they moved to Arizona.

I honestly don't "get it." I really don't. That Civil War thing – I mean that is long gone –we are all descendants now of those from the war – we weren't in the civil war! I do not understand the hostility toward northerners. If the South really does hate the North, then they should all secede from the USA. As our Canadian poster said, maybe we should be called "The States," not the "United States." I have spent lots of time in Canada, and I agree that it is a more civil society – and they still have the Quebeque issue, but it's a wonderfully civilized country!

Obviously, we're all individuals, and I am sure there are Southerners who are as nice and open as can be, however, for the most part, I've been very disappointed by the South. IS there any logical explanation for this? Or is it some territorial thing? I am very confused by it all. Thanks!

[ClarkStreetKid]

I'm from Buffalo, originally, and I recall one time driving down south and I had New York State plates on my car. I was traveling with a friend of mine, and my car broke down on the thruway in Virginia, outside the toll booth. It was about 7 p.m. at night.

When did this happen and what part of VA?

[Wisteria]

ClarkStreetKid: When did this happen and what part of VA?

Let's see, for me and my friend with the car problem it was around 1979 -- I know that may seem far away to some, however, I was completely traumatized by it. I had since driven through Kentucky, Tennessee and other areas around there, and was lucky I didn't have car problems, and I didn't mingle -- I was too afraid to, although some guy tried to proposition me at a rest stop.

For my ex, working in a country club banning Jews, it was about 15 years ago.

For my sister, who moved to Midlothian, VA, it was about 4 years ago.

I also have a Jewish friend from New York, who in the 70s went to Virginia with a boyfriend and people thought she was Japanese because she was short with black hair -- they were very confused as to what she was. I hear from people that although Northerners are moving there, that it's similar in many ways, yet. I feel bad about it, but that's honestly how I feel.

I know more Northeasterners are moving there, but, like I said, and I work with people originally from the South who moved from there (they feel they "escaped"), I have a difficult time with people who judge others just from where they were born and they scare me (and this is in the same country). Sorry, it's just how I feel. I tried it out, it was frightening, and from other things I've heard from people with similar experiences, or moved from there to get away, I just feel like I need to cross it off my list forever. Plus, I'm not a Christian, so that's another bad thing (but that was not an issue that ever came up when I was mistreated there).

Like I said, I'm sure there are nice people there, and I've met some really nice, open people on the Florida forum, however, I really was traumatized by it....sorry.

[ClarkStreetKid]

If that's all so then things have changed here in Richmond. Well gotta go for now, I'm late for the BBQ that my Jewish, born and bred in Richmond, is having. It's our annual neighborhood pre-July4 party.

[nancysi]

Originally Posted by Wisteria

...
I honestly don't "get it." I really don't. That Civil War thing – I mean that is long gone –we are all descendants now of those from the war – we weren't in the civil war! I do not understand the hostility toward northerners. If the South really does hate the North, then they should all secede from the USA. As our Canadian poster said, maybe we should be called "The States," not the "United States." I have spent lots of time in Canada, and I agree that it is a more civil society – and they still have the Quebeque issue, but it's a wonderfully civilized country!

Thanks for such kind words about Canada - it is not perfect, but it does do a good job of 'trying' - there again, are issues there - if I venture too far from Montreal or Toronto .. I worry - a little less there than here since we have gun control but words can be hurtful as well. As far as Quebec - I was born there and yes - it is a struggle at times (election time) but they will never separate ... BUT here is one thing we did (we being the rest of the Provinces) ... in 1996 there was an election - I think it was a 51% not to separate - VERY close (I say I think as I was in the States for Grad school at that time so my details are not as great as they could be) and when Quebec wanted to separate, the rest of Canada - did this: we had free buses from Toronto to Vancouver that everyone could take if they wanted to Montreal (and other parts of Quebec) to rally peacefully with signs that said: "We love you Quebec" and/or "Our Canada includes Quebec" - again, these were people from every where else in Canada - I went home and took a bus and joined in over a weekend. It is sappy - sure, but I love that it was dealt with this way - even if it was more of an expression than an effect (since it was the voters of Quebec that 'may' have already had their mind made up). Now, we are not a perfect place - but again, we try. I think Americans are wonderful people - and they know what needs to be done but for some reason, anger always comes back, it's like there is this 'divide and conquer' game that hire up's play - (United we stand - divided we fall - well, when it serves the situation and the person in power). I have taken part of many wonderful things in The States. I think there is anger here that stems from way back (and people are being 'played' to hold onto it)- and you can't blame people and you cannot change the past - but you can look forward. You know, I was on the subway in NYC a while back and someone caught my (eh) just when I thought I lost it - it comes back Anyhow, they asked me about Canada - I told them about the re-election in 2006 - they figured the news would not have covered that and then they said the most interesting thing; they said "America has the government they deserve" - I was shocked - this person was saying that bad behaviour becomes bad behaviour .... and that it is everyone's own fault. America can make a change - I will not start on gun control I know it is a hot topic in the States - but I do think you need socialized health care - it doesn't have to be Canada's system - but you need something (esp. for children); you need to fix areas people live and neighbourhoods so everyone feels like a 'worthy human being' - granted we give this 'right' to ourselves mostly - but it can be a cycle hard to overcome - society can help somewhat. You all need to take care of each other more, and I really believe Americans want this. I saw one person say 'bless you' to someone who sneezed on the nyc subway and then later I saw one person litter on the streets of New York - keep up the 'bless you's' but please stop littering. When you love your country, you have to know what needs to be fixed and fix it, I love America and I do my part - but I think I will do even more now - maybe it will be infectious (?). When I volunteer, I see the kindness in the States and it's people and there are those that do there part - but in other places there are wait lists to be volunteers - here they need more. Now, don't even get me started on how the INS officers treat me when I cross the border [hey, maybe I can just give them a big hug next time one is mean to me ... or hold up a sign that says: ' I love INS' ...

[averagenyjoe]

[quote=Muggy;242764]I live in St. Petersburg area in Florida (originally from NY):

I was haggling with a salesman today over pricing of furniture. After agreeing on a price that salesman took my name. When I stopped spelling out my last name he said, "are your sure you're done? There isn't a 'Stein' on the end?"[quote]

I understand, friend, my tire blew out in Bryson City, NC once and I went to a local tire store and when the man asked my name to put it on the invoice I got to my last name and he acted stunned like a bird hitting a plate glass window. he asked "could you repeat that" ..... he said in a long drawn out serious tone "you . have . got . to . be . kidding . me" "you're not serious!!!" I said, "yes I am". "WHY???" He began laughing as loud and hard and as long as anyone can laugh. Literally doubled over. by the time he came to he was out of breath and said "thats what we used to call (insert the "N" word) when I was growing up".
How's that for the epitome of ignorance??????????????????

[mylann]

I live in Cary, NC and it really is a place of soccer moms and malls, but take note - it's not your traditional south anymore. There's too many people from other places. CARY stands for Containment Area for Relocated Yankees. And I have to respond to some comments that people here talk about the Civil War. No they don't. I've lived and worked here since 1988 and I have yet to hear one conversation regarding that topic from native NCers, but there is a teeny feeling of resentment against people who have come here and taken over everything. What I can say about Cary is that if you don't have kids then you'll be bored. It's a bit idyllic, smells like honeysuckle (really), pretty, green, inexpensive (you can buy a 5 bedroom new house for $250,000 or less). Lot's of shopping, new schools - everything is new except for the sad little city center which has no historic architecture like Historic Raleigh. The beach is 2 hrs away and the mountains 2 hours to the west, and mountain land is still affordable but going fast. The beach is already overpriced, but 10 yrs ago was very affordable. Northern investors buy land sight unseen which isn't a good idea b/c of beach erosion and the way strip malls are going up near the beach. As for diversity, in Cary and some surrounding areas we have a large and growing (I'm afraid to use the word illegal) Hispanic population and in traditional old mill towns it's all Hispanic labor; the Christmas tree industry is taking off, chicken plants - all Hispanic labor. It's actually something like an +800% of Hispanics since 1990. Many (but not all) public schools have 50% non-english speaking first graders or kindergarteners (like in nearby Johnston County). Cary and Raleigh also have a sizeable Indian (asian) population, in fact most of Preston (western part of Cary) has a strong Indian-asian presence, mostly professionals - all my doctors are Indian. If you like diversity it's a plus to live here. Everyone on my block is from a northern US state and they LOVE it here. They sell their homes in the north or California and have money to buy a home and vacation properties in NC and bring their older parents to retire here too. Crime is below average but unfortunaltely exists, mostly in the older urban areas. The public schools are wonderful in my opinion. Downtown Raleigh has lots of 20 somethings and bars, pubs, etc. The worst thing for me here is the summer. Hot and humid beyond belief. I met a 79 yo man from Texas and he said he never felt heat in Texas like the heat here in NC. But we have a/c so it's all good. Would I recommend people from the north move here? Only if you have a family to raise and you want affordable homes and good schools, mild winters, easier life. Otherwise, stay put because you'll probably be bored. But who knows what will happen in 10 years? Maybe it'll be more exciting or you won't expect as much.

[I'minformed2]

5 bedroom new house for less than $250K in Cary? In what decade? I lived in Cary from 1998-2001 and currently live in Apex (though I'm in upstate NY now lookng at houses)....and there is NOTHING, even remotely close to the house you just mentioned in Cary for less than $400k anymore.

[mylann]

I stand by my statement.

[I'minformed2]

If you can find me one listing of a NEW house with FIVE bedrooms in Cary for under $400k...heck, i'll make it easier and say $500k....I'll recant my statement. I would make the challenge even harder and say find one for under $250k like you claimed you could orginially....but I beliee in setting at least SOMEWHAT realistic goals.