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I have lived in a condo community called Whispering Hills in Chester, NY (Orange County) for the last 6 years. It is nice and quiet with tons of amenities. Even though it is not on the NY/NJ border like Rockland County, it is still a great commuter location and is much more affordable. I currently work in Ramsey, NJ which is a few minutes South of Mahwah. It is a short 30-minute drive to get there and there's never any traffic. You could probably get to Mahwah in ~25 minutes.
Like someone else mentioned, there is a lot of public transportation geared for NYC commuters here in Orange County. There are train stations, Park & Rides, and express buses, some of which come right to Whispering Hills. The bus company that picks up Whispering Hills residents to go to NYC is actually based out of Mahwah. Some local buses that leave from the nearby Park & Ride and bus stop about 1-2 miles away stop at Mahwah. See shortlinebus.com for details.
If you're interested, our Whispering Hills condo is actually up for sale. See Below Market Price 2-BR Condo with 2-Car Garage! (broken link)
Someone has already recommended Warwick. I concur. I grew up there. You'll love it. You WILL need a car and commuting for work is common. Many people also commute to Middletown, NYfor jobs. My father communted to Rocklin County every day by car for 15 years. It's possbile, but you'll have to get used to it. Enjoy!