Where to live between N Manhattan and Pearl River NY? (White Plains: transfer to, schools)

[JW_in_boston]

Have a potential job opportunity at CCNY and my spouse works for a company where she could transfer to Pearl River NY. The 2 places don't seem too far apart, but we've never lived there so we don't know the traffic/commuting problems and also differences in schools/housing $$ etc in the different areas. We're not opposed to living in a somewhat urban area living in Somerville now and Philly suburbs previously (and we visited NYC a lot and are comfortable walking around most of it). I'd prefer that at least 1 of us has a train/subway commute (preferably me as I'm going to manhattan), and we'd prefer each to have a commute of less than 45 mins (prefer longer train ride than driving). We have 1 kid now and this would be a permanent move, so good areas for families, schools are a must, but diversity is good (and we're liberal and open-minded, but very white!). Here's my questions (and feel free to point me to where each of these have been discussed before)...

1. What areas of NY would work for this and how do they differ? If we're on the east side of the Hudson (White Plains area?) the trains seem better for me, but she'd have to cross the Tappan Zee every day, is that doable or a huge pain (I'm guessing pain). Conversely if we're close to Pearl River I'd either have to drive or transfer a ton and take forever to get to CCNY.

2. If we look on the W Hudson side, should we be looking in NY or NJ? I know NJ schools are supposed to be good but we're inexperienced w/that area of NJ and in general the NY area seems nicer. Would the Pearl River general area be a commuting nightmare for me?

3. Are there other areas I didn't mention that could work? Are there other smaller/cheaper/less travelled bridges N of the Tappan Zee that wouldn't give me a hellish train ride? If only 1 of us has a commute I'd prefer it was me and not her driving from Manhattan/NYC to Pearl River every day.

4. Are the Pearl River/White Plains areas liberal/progressive and good for finding organics/co-ops etc? I know most of our central NJ friends are quite conservative, which is fine but we want to live somewhere multi-cultural/open-minded and progressive, or at least a nice mix of all kinds of people. If NYC is anything like NJ and Philly while it's overall Democratically dominated there are clear areas that are "red" and we'd prefer not to live there, blue/purple is preferred.

Thanks!