Definitely consider NJ
New Jersey is definitely more doable than any other area. We live in Connecticut (New Canaan) and my husband works on Wall Street. It is 2 hours door to door. If you live anywhere in Westchester or Connecticut, you're looking at about that. In New Jersey, I would recommend Millburn, Summit, Chatham, or Morristown. All are on a direct line to Penn Station and will be on the direct line to Wall Street when it is back up. You can't beat the communities for schools, neighborliness, and fabulous YMCAs. The Madison YMCA (next to Chatham) serves many towns and is HUGE! The commute is under an hour from all of these areas. Good luck!
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