Hey all New Yorkers I miss NY, moved south feel like I made a BIG mistake! (Ithaca: mortgage, custom home)

[North_Raleigh_Guy]

Originally Posted by zobee

So what does living in North Carolina or New Jersey have to do with moving south and missing NEW YORK? Nothing. Lumping all states together makes as much sense as assuming life in Alabama is a good gauge of what it is like to live in New York. That couldn't be further from the truth, in my opinion.

Sorry, my friend -- I am perfectly on topic. But since you are not a New Yorker, and since you obviously do not feel like moving South was a mistake, I'm rather at a loss as to what drew you to this thread.

Hoo boy, it must be pretty dad gum boring on the NJ and NC boards to make you come all the way over to the NY board, just to put me in my place. If it'll help, I'll see if I can rustle up a group of NY forumers to come make comments about the posts over there, if you like. You know, comment on stuff we have absolutely no hope of ever understanding, having not lived in either NJ or NC.

Oh, and rest easy -- I wasn't bashing. Bashing would be "Alabama sucks," and I didn't say that. I just stated the truth - Alabama is hardly as progressive as New York. I don't think there are many who would disagree with that.

So glad your life choices worked out for you, friend. Not everyone can say the same. But, bless your heart, thanks for sharing -- it's always so nice to read posts from happy, shiny people, who actually have "choices" and whose sole objective is to invalidate your feelings. It makes you feel so special to be singled out. Sort of warm and tingly all over.

Cheers...

Zoe

Easy boy! I wasn't attacking you. I was just pointing out that lumping all southern states together is misleading. Nobody said your post was off topic. For the Record while I am from NJ I have lived in New York as well. I've lived in Great Neck, Garden City, and spent a few years living / working up in Ulster County, NY (Cottekill). But alas, I don't really need to justify why I am qualified to post .

FWIW, there are plenty of NY folks who post on the NC forum. Some of them are quite useful posts. I will continue to post where I please.

Have a nice day!

[zobee]

Spoken like a true New Yorker....

I see your and raise you a .

Here's the problem (as I see it) that Yankees run into in the South, and it's going to see like I'm OT, but I promise I'll bring it together if you're patient, lol.

I have 2 teenage daughters close in age still at home and until recently, got along like well ... North and South. Keep in mind, my girls are usually very lovely people and I adore them, but I don't walk around with blinders on - teenage girls being what they are (see: hormone engorged psychopaths) they can be mean as snakes to one another:

The older daughter is passive aggressive. She's all smiles and sweetness, and she coats her poison darts with a liberal amount of sugar. If her sister is being a moron, she's the sort that says, "Bless your heart..." and request prayer for you (see: Scarlett O'Hara)

The younger daughter is forthright and speaks plainly. If her sister is being a moron, she says "You're a moron..." and may suggest you seek counseling and psychotropic drugs (see: Rosie O'Donnell).

They are so completely different, and approach life from such varying perspectives, that they cannot understand each other.

They've learned, through experience, how the other will react, and so they began to practice proactive bickering. Assuming that one will react in a certain way before a conversation even begins, they take a defensive stance.

I sat them both down one day and had a talk. The younger one said, "Yeah, okay -- that was probably harsh, and I apologize." The older daughter maintained her innocence...until I brought to her attention that the younger daughter didn't bite until she was poked.

After our little pow wow, the older daughter realized that it wasn't that one of them was better than the other, or that one was right and the other was wrong -- they were just different. And if she stopped poking, she wouldn't get bit.

Since then, we've had peace and harmony, for the most part. The older one still pokes from time to time, and her sister will snap her head off with a biting come back. But she's learned that this not a "fault" in her sister - it does not define how her sister deals with people day to day - but rather, it is how her sister reacts when attacked. She is not "wrong," she's just different.

In the same way, I've found that Southerners assume all New Yorkers are rude because we don't possess that inherent saccharine sweet, passive aggressive gene that so many - though not all - Southerners possess and take such pride in.

The result is a smarmy "prayer request" for the Yankee who will subsequently tell the Southerner to stuff it, resulting in the Southerner's "justification" in pronouncing the Yankee to be rude.

Just my .02

Zoe

[zobee]

Easy boy! I wasn't attacking you. I was just pointing out that lumping all southern states together is misleading. Nobody said your post was off topic. For the Record while I am from NJ I have lived in New York as well. I've lived in Great Neck, Garden City, and spent a few years living / working up in Ulster County, NY (Cottekill). But alas, I don't really need to justify why I am qualified to post .

FWIW, there are plenty of NY folks who post on the NC forum. Some of them are quite useful posts. I will continue to post where I please.

Have a nice day!

Then I assume you'll allow me the same right, effectively negating absolutely every purpose for your original post to me.

"Have a nice day," back atcha'

Cheers ...

Zoe

[North_Raleigh_Guy]

Originally Posted by zobee

Then I assume you'll allow me the same right, effectively negating absolutely every purpose for your original post to me.

"Have a nice day," back atcha'

Cheers ...

Zoe

My posts are not directed to any particular poster. I discuss opinions and ideas on this forum, not member users. I simply quoted your post becasue it was the most recent post demonstrating the ills of generalizations. I don't have the authority to allow or disallow anything on this board any more than you. I am simply engaging in a discussion. If a poster would like to exert control over what is posted they should volunteer to be a moderator for citi-data forums.

That being said, I still stand by the points I make in my original posts. First about my "original" post several pages and months back: A move to Zebulon, NC and the associated experiences is hardly representative of what all of NC embodies. Similarly discussions about life in Georgia, South Carolina, Texas, and Alabama while interesting should not be assumed to represnet what life is like in NC either. I singled out NC beacuse that was where the original poster moved to. I don't dispute others opinions of those areas as everyone is entitled to their opinoin of course. Again I was simply pointing out that you can't lump all southern states (or cities / towns within those states for that matter) together any more than you can lump all northern states together when talking about lifestyles ect ..... without creating gross generalizations that are more often than not completely untrue.

I am sorry you took offense to all of that and got defensive, but as I have mentioned my posts are not actually directed towards you or any one poster. Feel free to drop into the NC board anytime you like if you feel you have something helpful to add to a discussion.

All opinions are welcome!


Namastey

[NorthmeetsSouth]

How many people left NY not because they didn't like it but simply because they couldn't afford it? I came home for a visit a few weeks ago and realized that I could never afford to live in Westchester again. It isn't that I prefer the south. Its that I can afford the south!
Atlanta is without character and has become rather seedy over the years. My husband, who is from NC, and I are planning to move to NC but are being careful about selecting an area. I would recommend that to anyone thinking of moving to the south. Read the posts. Many of the NC threads have such vitriolic comments directed toward northerners that you know you don't want to live in a town like that.
My husband is from a small town and he assures me that they can be so clannish that you will never feel welcome there. look at larger towns where there is more of a mix. It is a beautiful state and, like Upstate NY, many areas are quite charming. I am sure that there are many areas where the folks are friendly and welcoming. We will just keep looking around til we find them.

[I'minformed2]

Here's the sad deal on North Carolina....at least my take on it. There are 2 NC's..well really 3..the first one is the one that most people are relocating to; the booming larger metro areas; Charlotte, The Triangle, and to a lesser extent the Triad....these areas are the charecterless, sprawling, transient communites that are similar to how you described what you don't like about the Atalnta area...people from New York, Florida and California, as well as many other places accross the country, are moving to the large NC metros in DROVES, and slowly (not so slowly anymore) but surely, bringing with them many of the problems and issues they were trying to get away from in their hometowns (higher taxes, overcrowding, more crime, rising cost of living, unorganized schools, etc.). This is the North Carolina, as I said before that most people ARE moving to. The North Carolina many people WANT to relocate to is "Mayberry" (which is a fictional town btw...based loosely off of Mt. Airy, which fits into the next category i'm going to mention)...these are the small towns with charming downtowns, friendly people where everybody knows everyone's first name and kids walk to the drug store and all that nice stuff. There are actually quite a few towns in NC that are like that and have people that are friendly to northernes; the problem is they are DYING hard and fast, and there are no jobs there at all....that's the "old North Carolina" the one that up until the 80's an 90's enjoyed a nice lifestyle supported by teh money made from the textile industry, which now sheds tens of thousands of jobs every year in NC alone. The third NC is the one that most northerns wouldn't want to move to, and the one that is stereotyped by people who have never been to the south but "hate it" as being what the whole state is like....that's rural NC. MANY "Rednecks" there, especially in the eastern half of the state...its tobacco country, and most of the people in that region (outside of the charming yet dying small towns) are VERY anti-yankee, as well as racist. That's just my $.02 after living in NC for 12 years.

[NorthmeetsSouth]

Thank you, I'minformed. As your name suggests, that was very informative. If I may ask, where in NC did you live, and what did you like or not like about it?
I have heard such nice things about the Pinehurst area, and I have been told that it is welcoming to outsiders, so I posted a thread on the NC forum asking people where they are from and are they comfortable. I got back a reply from exactly the type of person you described telling me basically to stay out of her state. Very friendly and open minded.
Luckily, I know enough NC natives to know that this person is not at all representative of the entire state's population so I will just keep looking and try to avoid towns full of small-minded people like that.

[I'minformed2]

I lived in and around Raleigh for the 12 years I was in NC (which ended just earlier this month when I moved back to Upstate NY)....first moved to North Raleigh, then Cary, then South/Southeast Raleigh (BY FAR the biggest mistake), and finally Apex. I actually did like Apex, it enjoyed the healthy economy being part of the Triangle region, while still retaining the small town charm...but that's ending fast, Apex is now a full blown suburb of Raleigh and they just announced a HUGE development that will basically double the town's population (which has already happened since the late 90's, when the population was about 20k, as it now approaches 40k). Apex is being called the "next Cary"....ask anybody who has lived in western wake county for a while and they will explain to you what that entails....but I think I've rambled enough for this post right now.

[NorthmeetsSouth]

Originally Posted by averagenyjoe

What if all the Yankees in the south got the good idea of leaving all at once. Bet the sudden collapse of their economy would make them have a slight change of mind, ya think?

Have you ever read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand? Your idea is the basic premise of the book.

[averagenyjoe]

Originally Posted by NorthmeetsSouth

Have you ever read "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand? Your idea is the basic premise of the book.

Sounds interesting, will have to check it out. Thanks