Hey all New Yorkers I miss NY, moved south feel like I made a BIG mistake! (Florida: lawyers, gated)

[wsncfay]

keep hearing of southern hospitality, what excatly are you expecting? to left you up on they're shoulders and carry you wherever you wish? yes i know alot of people down here truly hate ya'll, but that goes back to the whole generalization thing again. like i was talking with someone from new york, everyone up there thinks everyone down here is a inbred, retard, redneck, someone seen on the jerry springer show, and everyone down here think ya'll are stuck up snobs. thats how its been, thats everyone's thought. i mean alright southern hospitality to me is, passing someone on a sidewalk, tilt your head and say either ma'am or sir, if walking into a store and someone is not to far behind or going in the opposite direction, hold the door for them. i mean what are you really expecting?

[BigHouse9]

I have found that Southern hospitality is almost non-existent as well. I have met some nice people but nothing that I did not encounter in the NorthEast. I have walked by people and said hello, people I work with every day who are from NC, and they have not responded back.

People will be the same and be different every place you go.

[averagenyjoe]

I met my wife while living in NC. She is a lifelong Southerner. She was very skeptical about my plans to move North because of this pre-conceived notion that all "Yankees" were rude, hateful, in-your-face, etc... yada, yada, yada. She moved up here with her mind made up and Southern attitude in full gear bracing for the worst. It wasn’t a month when we were hashing over our move and discussing its pros & cons and she got this puzzling, perplexed, almost sour little look on her face and asked "WHAT in the world do people mean with this "NY Attitude"? "I just don’t see it" !!! And believe me, she wasn’t trying to appease me or say what I wanted to hear. She was dead set against the move from the get-go. My Mom & Sisters said "she will NEVER make it up here, the people will eat her up and destroy her. "she is too prissy and too stuck in her ways". And if that doesn’t do her in, "the winters will KILL her", they said.

Now, it is one year to the month and when everyone asks how she likes it. She says with a beaming glow on her face, "I would never go back", "I love the change of seasons", "everyone has been SO kind to me", "perfect strangers treat me like their own" and on & on. "just let me go back and see my family maybe twice/year" is all she wants.

[wsncfay]

well its just from the things i've seen and read, especially on here, that personally i wont be mean to any northerner, but i treat everyone the same until they give me reason not to, after that i'll be polite but dont expect much other than that. but truly, the things i've read on hear have been rather dis-hearting. and yes it is back and forth, but its the different back ground, up bringing. most of us get told at young ages that the "damn yankees" arent to be trusted, and i'm sure, at a young age alot of people from the north get the opinion that people from the south are back woods ignorant hillbillies. wont ever change until people can see with out prejudging everyone. but i do have to say, i know one of the reasons why the civil war is such a hot topic on for most southerners is because, well afterwards, the north just went on and propered, the south way of life was crushed and alot of its cities (including the city i grew up in fayetteville north carolina, had to be rebuilt after the union army did so much damage to it. i think the bitter feelings were natural, though, i'd have to say 200 years is well more than enough time to sort those out, but people work in different ways

[averagenyjoe]

wsncfay, we all have to be careful, we are all people and there are some huge differences in those from different regions based on alot of factors. I am what you would call a true half breed. My mother and her line is all from SW Virginia and have the distinct traits to go with it. My mom was a poor farm girl that didnt have electricity till in her 20's. My Dad came from a very wealthy, privilaged Northern family. I have personally lived exactly as many years in the South as North and can play devils advocate for either side. I love both just as much as I hate both. I guess in a way I am at war with myself and myself only. I have been caught slinging mud both ways. I married a girl who is a lifelong southern girl almost in the same split as me. Her mom and that side is all from Belton, SC & Franklin, NC. Most of the woman in that family have the #10 can sitting by the couch and can chew right on par with the best redneck man out there. Its just the most wild thing you ever saw. Her dad was a Yankee if you ever saw one. Straight out of New Jersey. What possesses the extremes of North & South to marry only God knows. My wife has tender spots for both sides just as I do but also gets just as agrivated at the more ignorant sides of both. This is just human nature and was that way even before the "war". I agree the war was probably more about entire political world views rather than just the one issue of slavery but thats a whole 'nother story.

I'm not sure what my point is except that we humans are made up of more than what state we come from and geneologies are so mingled up at this point I'm not sure there really is a North/South any more except the amount of growth and economies being different.

[wsncfay]

well to me the state thing is taking pride where you came from, my mother's family has been in sampson county nc i believe since they came from europe, and to hear some of the things i do on how we are all racist and slavers, i mean, i know for a fact my mother's family were very poor white people, we never owned a slave, we were share croppers, worked for they're stay and food. and i grew up hating being a southerner, tried to hide the fact and hide the accent as much as i possibly could, but i ended going out west to the seattle/tacoma area and it just made me realize the great things about here, that are not in other places, i mean, seriously from what i've seen across country and a bit up north (p.a. and ohio areas) that people are a bit more friendly, i remember asking for help in pittsburg and the guy just looked at me like who the hell do i look like, didnt say a word and just walked off. i dont hold that against anyone other than that guy. but after reading alot of these post and i guess i shouldnt take them so seriously but its really sad to see some of this on both sides, i dont know many northerners but i do know for a fact that not all of you are the same, and like wise not all of us are the same, if you run into a ignorant hick, well that person was, not the majority of the area.

[wsncfay]

and i'm sorry but i too can understand how some southerners dont want so many moving down here, not all of us can deal with the tax raise its going to make, more people means more services needed which mean higher taxes, and i grew up rather poor in eastern north carolina, after all the battles of tobacco and the textile plants leaving for over seas employees to pay cheaper, the eastern side of the state has really gotten hit hard, and a tax raise might be that final straw to break they're backs. i guess dog eat dog, but try to understand that atleast

[averagenyjoe]

Originally Posted by wsncfay

and i'm sorry but i too can understand how some southerners dont want so many moving down here, not all of us can deal with the tax raise its going to make, more people means more services needed which mean higher taxes, and i grew up rather poor in eastern north carolina, after all the battles of tobacco and the textile plants leaving for over seas employees to pay cheaper, the eastern side of the state has really gotten hit hard, and a tax raise might be that final straw to break they're backs. i guess dog eat dog, but try to understand that atleast

Believe me, friend, I do understand. When I say I have Northern blood in me, I am referring to Upstate NY blood and New England blood. Not to slam the City people in NY but most of the "attitude" thingy is more about NYC metro and there are even reasons for that but to make my point, We in Upstate get very very frustrated at the city people coming up to the VASTLY RURAL areas which is 95% of NY with all their money pricing the average people right out of their homes and their state. They think 300K for an 1800sq ft house with 5K/yr taxes is a STEAL and dont realize that the people here just dont have the industry and earning power to handle that mess. We are an honest and hard working people who raise families and want only much of the same things you do. My wife & I have just as much family that is rural born & bred Southern and we can testify of what you are saying. In turn the New Yorkers sell and get the 300K and move south because they cant afford the taxes and move south thinking 125K with 2K in taxes is a steal and dont realize that you were used to paying 65K for the same house. Its a vicious cycle. But anyway. My wife was pleasantly surprised to find the people in Upsate NY a very easy going and friendly people.

[moni007]

I have been here for 2 1/2 mos and found a job, which I was quite surprise. I do miss ny, but it is very quiet and peaceful here. Our kids are lo ing this life much better than ny. I do find that people ask where are you from alot, but I expect that because of my accent. One thing that I do notice is that people here are not as friendly as they use to be when I waz growing up years ago. I am not sure if this is because ther are new to the south as well and they are from otherstates or what. You have neighbors all around you and you do not even know there name or yet even hold a conversation. I was used to this thing in ny when I was living in my apt but when I came her I thought it would be a little different. Still and yet for right now with the kids and all I think this was a good decision for our family.

[wsncfay]

well there are alot of people in nc that are from others states, i'd say the majority from ny and nj, think my neighbors on both sides are from other states. though dont really get along with one of them, i'm sorry but she has done nothing but look down her nose at us and i cant stand it, came over yelling because we cut a tree down in our yard, i tried to talk to her in a calm way but she just kept going on and on, then my sister came over and heard it and she went out there picking a fight with her, the lady came over later and tried to discuss it but i said "ma'am there is no reason for yelling like that in the yard". i dont have a single problem with anyone from the north, or west, i treat everyone the same until you give me reason to. the only thing i dont really like about so many from the north or anywhere for that matter moving here is that, they are coming here for the cheap taxes and housing, but with so many coming here the taxes are only going to shoot straight up, yeah probably wont be nowhere near as bad as up there, but like i said in another post, especially the people in eastern north carolina, alot of them cant take a tax hike. but other that i dont really care, i like more people, grew up actually wanting to be in a place like ny with all the different people so maybe all of this will help the charlotte and raleigh area to grow a bit.