Hey all New Yorkers I miss NY, moved south feel like I made a BIG mistake! (Buffalo: health insurance, attorneys)

[wsncfay]

no i seriously can say i havent. i dont hate anyone at all. i'm still fairly young, but to be truthful, i hide that i was a southern or tried. would try to hide my accent and tried my hardest to not say the common southern words because i was in a way ashamed of it. plus the stereotype of the southern embarrassed me. i've never told a "n" joke, granted pretty much all my family does say them except for my mother's family because they know i dont like it when people say that, my oldest friend is a black girl i met in middle school and we had a little fling that i could never tell my family of it. and yes i'll take back that about talking behind they're backs, but not everyone does that. i hated being from the south until i left it, went across the country and thats when i found out how much i really did love it, but yet i still dont like the things that you mentioned about it. but yes i can say i have never made a yankee joke nor a "N" joke, you may not believe but i know its the truth and thats all that matters to me.

[FatElvisForever]

I'm "from Atlanta" (and then Charlotte) and find myself living in Jersey. The North isn't so bad, but I wouldn't mind getting back home one of these days. But only until I can afford the better areas (which are as expensive, if not more so, than better areas in the North).

A few observations on Northerners heading South:

1) Don't move South because you think it's cheaper. That’s automatically the wrong attitude. While it is indeed more affordable, the "best" areas are pretty darn expensive. In Charlotte... Foxcroft, Myers Park, Dilworth; in Atlanta... any of the Buckhead neighborhoods, Druid Hills, better half of Decatur, etc. If you go South seeking "cheap", you will get it, and you will wind up in a fairly non-diverse area without a lot to offer with not much sense of community. There's lots of new development that’s of no appeal to this "native" southerner at all. And the places I'd love to live I *cannot* afford (and I live in Princeton, NJ).

2) Northerners moving south have a deservedly bad reputation, and the southerners are pretty sick of it. Growing up I frequently heard stuff like "improving the gene pool" and "how things were done in Cleveland". Seriously. If you love it in the North, DON'T move south. You will make yourself, and everyone around you, miserable.

3) Related to point #1 above, Northerners moving south seek cheaper outlying areas. These are areas filled with rednecks and those not real happy about the countryside and old farms being "infested" with new development. And this new development is 15-20 miles from town, and the best you'll have is a Food Lion, a video rental store (with no new releases) and a bad Chinese restaurant. And the local Wal-Mart parking lot is filled with redneck kids on Friday/Saturday nights doing whatever they do in a Wal-Mart parking lot. You will hate it, and there's a reason the area is cheap. Do you like NASCAR? NO? They by god, what are you doing in Kannapolis, or other surrounding burnt-out mill towns? P.S. Matthews is a pit stop on the way to the beach. There isn't much there, folks.

4) The Southerners in these outlying areas are people that have pictures of their confederate dead on the mantle and clear the weeds from confederate graves on a regular basis. While your family was still in Italy, Ireland, or wherever... most Southerners had family in the war... which wasn't that long ago. And "fables of the reconstruction" still abound, there's an entire folklore and mythology related to this period (see "Southern Gothic"), and you are out of the loop and completely unaware. So don't move South and joke about how "they are still fighting the war".

5) There's a lot of hype up North about the South. Yes, it's nice. Parts of it are more affordable. I recently turned down a pretty nice job offer to move to Atlanta from Princeton. More money, even. Maybe I'm nuts, but in considering the lifestlyle... I couldn't afford to live anywhere near my office (which was downtown), and I wasn't up for the extreme traffic resulting in 1 hour commutes to make it 10 miles into the city. And the school system is a nightmare. No thanks.

[NorthmeetsSouth]

Originally Posted by averagenyjoe

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How do we know you talk trash behind our back???? See, you are assuming we are all dumb. You are overheard and others report back on things you all say.

Thank you, Averagenyjoe. You are absolutely correct. The other way we know is that when somebody else walks away and you turn to those remaining and say something about the one who just left... why wouldn't we assume that you do that to us too?!

I really do like living in the south, and most of the people are friendly enough, but I do believe that Northerners are more accepting of newcomers moving into their town than Southerners are. And, I get so weary of southerners taking umbrage to northerners saying that they like to go back north for some good italian food and bagels (like wsNCfays comment earlier... I-95 runs both ways) Get over it. Italian food IS better in NY. Its a fact. If you move to NY and say that you want to visit NC so you can get some decent grits do you honestly think that any northerner with more than a room temperature IQ is going to interpret that as you saying that NY is inferior? No! You are simply saying that NY 's grits aren't as good. I can live with that. Why can't you?

[wsncfay]

i'm not saying anything like that, reading the post one the nc forum and seeing all the comments about i'm moving back to ny because they're isnt good italian, deli and such. i'm not saying i take it as we're inferior or anything. just simply saying that if its that big of a deal why move in the first place? and i've said many many times before that i have no problem with anyone moving here, the only concern i have is for the people that could. suffer from the tax hike the higher population will cause. and about the talking behind peoples back, i just want people not to look at everyone down here and think that, not everyone does. yes i'll say there are quite a few that do, probably more that do than dont, but not all.

[sbg42]

My fiance and I moved to Raleigh in June and are already planning a move to Buffalo. She is from there and I am from New Jersey (too expensive). We haven't received any hostility but we hate the heat, the boring summer, and the lack of community. Also, everything moves just too darn slow here. It stinks that we signed a one-year lease or we'd be gone already. What is there to do here for a young couple in the mean time??? any ideas???

P.S. The people here are the least of our problems. Everyone has been very nice, I guess there really is Southern Hospitality...it just isn't for me.

[averagenyjoe]

Originally Posted by wsncfay

no i seriously can say i havent. i dont hate anyone at all. i'm still fairly young, but to be truthful, i hide that i was a southern or tried. would try to hide my accent and tried my hardest to not say the common southern words because i was in a way ashamed of it. plus the stereotype of the southern embarrassed me. i've never told a "n" joke, granted pretty much all my family does say them except for my mother's family because they know i dont like it when people say that, my oldest friend is a black girl i met in middle school and we had a little fling that i could never tell my family of it. and yes i'll take back that about talking behind they're backs, but not everyone does that. i hated being from the south until i left it, went across the country and thats when i found out how much i really did love it, but yet i still dont like the things that you mentioned about it. but yes i can say i have never made a yankee joke nor a "N" joke, you may not believe but i know its the truth and thats all that matters to me.

I commend you wsncfay. I will take you at your word and I want to assure you that not all Northerners are hot heads, pushy and demanding. However, in certain areas of the state they are the majority and in the South in certain areas their reputation carries the day as well
Please dont hate where you were from. Sometimes I dont know how to sort out my love/hate relationship with both the North & South. Spent 23 years in both places and know both inside and out. There are ALOT of good things about the South and if thats your native state and you spent the majority of life there, by golly dont let anyone take that from you. I get just as mad at the faults up here as what I do in NC and especially my envolvement in "the League". That was a big black spot in my life because groups like that do nothing but stir up contention. If anyone wants to talk reasonable political re-construction of our dying country I'm in for that but that is not what it turned out to be. It ended up drawing out the worst in people and keeping alive the North/South hatred. I can see through that and realize that not everyone in the South is that way but most people CAN be that way if pushed by their peers enough and there are PLENTY of people there that keep it alive and Yankees sure know how to be jerks when antagonized too.

Tell ya what. You ever want to see some beautiful natural lakes and the Adirondacks and see a side of NY many in the South dont realize, we would love to host you and take you around and treat you like family. Really! Than maybe on one of my trips back South, we could meet in Gatlinburg, eat some home cooking and say a blessing before we eat without being out of place, then hit the town. There is something quite charming about that gaudy little place. Oh, I miss my fish camps too. Does that sound like a good truce?

[gamsauer]

Originally Posted by zobee

So what does living in North Carolina or New Jersey have to do with moving south and missing NEW YORK? Nothing. Lumping all states together makes as much sense as assuming life in Alabama is a good gauge of what it is like to live in New York. That couldn't be further from the truth, in my opinion.

Sorry, my friend -- I am perfectly on topic. But since you are not a New Yorker, and since you obviously do not feel like moving South was a mistake, I'm rather at a loss as to what drew you to this thread.

Hoo boy, it must be pretty dad gum boring on the NJ and NC boards to make you come all the way over to the NY board, just to put me in my place. If it'll help, I'll see if I can rustle up a group of NY forumers to come make comments about the posts over there, if you like. You know, comment on stuff we have absolutely no hope of ever understanding, having not lived in either NJ or NC.

Oh, and rest easy -- I wasn't bashing. Bashing would be "Alabama sucks," and I didn't say that. I just stated the truth - Alabama is hardly as progressive as New York. I don't think there are many who would disagree with that.

So glad your life choices worked out for you, friend. Not everyone can say the same. But, bless your heart, thanks for sharing -- it's always so nice to read posts from happy, shiny people, who actually have "choices" and whose sole objective is to invalidate your feelings. It makes you feel so special to be singled out. Sort of warm and tingly all over.

Cheers...

Zoe

God, I miss NY!

[oktaren]

Western NY is great! I have figured that the reason people are so much meaner in the south towards newcomers, is because they actually have some. We here in the north are so used to having people move away rather than move in, that anytime anyone does, we like to welcome them. On the other hand they are overcrowded with newcomers in the south.

Or maybe its just because we are nicer

[VA Yankee]

I have been reading this thread for some weeks now and am amazed at the criteria people see there communities by. Most don't mention why they chose to move/relocate I would assume it is for jobs. If the jobs were good in NY people wouldn't even look to relocate. Even for some moving from the city to the suburbs is a culture shock. The south is not that bad and there are rednecks up north also. I visit NY about twice a year and I can say I miss the food and the ethinic diversity other than that they can keep it. The taxes are too high, theres no jobs and most of the towns (in Rockland) look like they haven't been updated since I was in high school.

Having lived in VA 25+ years I have seen alot of changes some good some bad but at least there is a strong economy and I can make a decent living for my family. Many of the urban problems are starting to appear here but at least the communities are addressing them, or trying to.

I guess were all lucky because we have the choice to choose were we live. For those thinking of moving look hard before you choose because the last decent bakery before the Mason-Dixon Line is in Maryland.

[I'minformed2]

Maryland is South of the Mason-Dixon line.