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Old 09-03-2012, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,628 posts, read 5,840,389 times
Reputation: 6343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ycarrionrn View Post
I moved here from NYC six years ago, still homesick. There are so many people i just do not care to know. People here are all about who you know and what you have. I'm so sorry i bought my house. I do not care for any of my neighbors. I can't even tell you their names. NOONE COMES OUT. The schools are aweful. They have the nerve to put they are an A school and some kids cant read at their grade level. IT IS EXPENSIVE here in fort lauderdale!!!!!! I am finishing my masters and getting the hell out. my son will not attend these schools
Did you really think that Ft. Lauderdale schools would be better than NY schools?

Best of luck man.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
4,278 posts, read 3,329,198 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grdnrman View Post
Hello ycarrionrn, ~ and everyone else out there,

I'm sorry to hear that you are unhappy living in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Several years ago I moved to an Orlando Suburb but was not happy living in Florida so I moved back to Upstate New York State=Metro Syracuse.

Yeah. We sometimes think that the "grass is greener" elsewhere and so we move to a different State only to find-out that what we heard about the NEW STATE was a mirage and exaggerated hype! That new State, for whatever reason, hasn't turned out to feel comfortable or what we want our new city/town to feel as "home"; simply doesn't feel like "home" and you don't think that your new location ever will.!

Here's the Good News! A bad relocation move doesn't have to be permanent. You can always correct a mistaken relocation move and move back closer to your original "home" State or to a location that you feel will be better for yourself / your family.

grdnrman
I can relate. I built a new house in SC and moved in 2 1/2 years ago. Just 3 months after moving in, I became incredibly homesick. It has been so bad that it has actually affected my health. To keep my sanity or regain it, we have decided to move back to Upstate where as my friends from Cape Cod call it to be "with the normal people." LOL Those ladies just crack me up!

I really did feel like the grass was greener. Cheap taxes would be great....ummmm yeah except you get what you pay for. The level of education here is just downright frightening. I honestly think my SUV is smarter than some people I have meet. Gas is cheaper and no inspections, but you can't breath while driving because people are driving cars from the 80's without mufflers and catalytic converters which keeps the stink out of the air. So many unfriendly people who constantly complain about Northerners and how terrible we are. It wears a person down. They win. I'm leaving.

People say I came here with a bad attitude. Clearly, they don't know me at all. Everyone who knows me knows how positive and excited I was to move here. I really felt like this would be a fresh start in life. It's been nothing short of a nightmare.

We're just waiting to close on our new home in the Finger Lakes. We used to vacation there several times a year and take dozens of day trips throughout the year when we lived in the Capitol Region. It's amazing how much I miss water and mountains. One's soul needs those things!

No more droughts for me! Give me 10 feet of snow over this any day!
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Old 09-05-2012, 05:29 AM
 
Location: Oneida
2,622 posts, read 1,690,788 times
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Depending on exact from where to exactly to where your actually moving from the frying pan to the fire.

Regional Drought Monitor: Southeast

Regional Drought Monitor: Northeast

Been a good year for gas though. Between no snow and no lawn I am still using the same five gallons of gas I bought last Fall for the snowblower to run the mower. I've mowed once since early June. I guess you could say I'm going green while my lawn goes brown!!!
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Old 09-05-2012, 11:02 AM
 
Location: SENIOR MEMBER
655 posts, read 1,269,844 times
Reputation: 877
Default Moved From Capital Dist.-NYS to South Carolina, Can't Wait to Move Back to NY State's Beautiful Finger Lakes Region

Yes, I mentioned that I had moved from Upstate New York to Orlando-Florida only to find that Florida did not measure-up to New York State & the 6 New England states=the Northeastern U.S. & Canada; so I moved back to Upstate NY - Metro Syracuse NY and I'm very happy here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
I can relate. I built a new house in SC and moved in 2 1/2 years ago. Just 3 months after moving in, I became incredibly homesick. It has been so bad that it has actually affected my health. To keep my sanity or regain it, we have decided to move back to Upstate where as my friends from Cape Cod call it to be "with the normal people." LOL Those ladies just crack me up!

I really did feel like the grass was greener. Cheap taxes would be great....ummmm yeah except you get what you pay for. The level of education here is just downright frightening. I honestly think my SUV is smarter than some people I have meet. Gas is cheaper and no inspections, but you can't breath while driving because people are driving cars from the 80's without mufflers and catalytic converters which keeps the stink out of the air. So many unfriendly people who constantly complain about Northerners and how terrible we are. It wears a person down. They win. I'm leaving.

People say I came here with a bad attitude. Clearly, they don't know me at all. Everyone who knows me knows how positive and excited I was to move here. I really felt like this would be a fresh start in life. It's been nothing short of a nightmare.

We're just waiting to close on our new home in the Finger Lakes. We used to vacation there several times a year and take dozens of day trips throughout the year when we lived in the Capitol Region. It's amazing how much I miss water and mountains. One's soul needs those things!

No more droughts for me! Give me 10 feet of snow over this any day!
Welcome back to Upstate New York and the beautiful Finger Lakes Region. California has its Vineyards & Wineries Region of Napa-Sonoma but I feel that New York State's Finger Lakes Vineyards & Wineries Region is more beautiful than the Napa-Sonoma region. The many Finger Lakes clean water lakes, water sports on the lakes, grape vineyards, gently rolling farmlands - farms producing milk-fresh eggs-farm grown fresh vegetables & fruits all being sold at little "farmers markets/stands" along the highways, the bed & breakfast vacation inns, crafts men & women who handcraft wood furniture and handmade heirloom one-of-a-kind style Quilts, and so many other "Quality Of Life" features/assets. "ss20ts", you have chosen a wonderful & beautiful area in which to make your new "home". And when you want to travel to a large city for amenties offered there, Rochester and Syracuse are a short drive away. You also mentioned the mountains. Yes, the Adirondack. Mtns. & lakes: Lake Placid, Blue Mountain Lake, Lake George, Old Forge.

Life is too short to waste time living in some other State/Area where the "grass isn't really greener" hype = maybe where there's unfriendliness, low education levels, and no standards for clean air & clean water.

Some negative detractors say, NYS has snow & high taxes. Yes, New York State has snowfall, which melts and contributes water for all our wonderful Lakes and Rivers and Streams which exist all across the Upstate New York Region. And while the snow is on the ground people & kids are: skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, snowmobiling, making snowmen & snow forts & snow angels & having snowball fights=winter fun. As for taxes. Yeah, we have somewhat high property taxes (altho some rural property taxes are actually pretty reasonable) across Upstate NY, but you get what you pay for=QUALITIES of Life that we have here in NYS. I don't have to mention them BUT, good schools childrens education, good paved highways (they've been paving roads all around the Metro Syracuse area both last year & this year=JOBS), good municipal clean drinking water supply (at least here in Metro Syracuse), and clean air to breath. I Love Upstate New York!

Anyway "ss20ts", your mistaken move/unhappiness to South Carolina is almost over with and you'll be back "Home" here in NYS with its Qualities of Life, where NYS people are pretty friendly, (your Cape Cod friends will be glad to see you), OUR NYS government tries to stay out of your "Personal"-"Private" decisions/life, people have a live & let live attitude, here where NY State government doesn't try to prevent/deprive/hinder/impede/suppress/discourage/disenfranchise people/citizens from voting, and NYS where we know that the Civil War was over-with years ago.

Best wishes for you to ENJOY your new "home" in the beautiful Finger Lakes Region.

grdnrman
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Old 09-07-2012, 09:26 AM
 
Location: I live wherever I am.
1,716 posts, read 1,374,952 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swtchft77 View Post
My wife heard the other day that people that moved down south from ny are now moving back. has anybody you know (yourself included) done this? If so why? We're wondering because we've thought from time to time about moving down south but would like to know the downsides that other northerners have experienced.
I've never lived in NY but I did live in PA just a few miles from the NY border, so I imagine I can answer this. I moved from PA to Killeen, Texas in 2008 and am now investigating moving back north.

I moved to TX for the very same reason why most people leave their comfortable little towns... economic opportunity. Northwest PA was never that economically strong, but things weren't anywhere near "good enough" for the business I wanted to run. Faced with either moving or going bankrupt, I elected to move.

Four years later, my values have changed somewhat. This area may be economically robust (at least for now), but there is a shocking amount of riffraff here. I live in a reasonably decent neighborhood (or at least it looked decent when I moved in, there were many people who'd lived here for decades, etc) but within the past year there have been three home break-ins on my block alone... the most recent being my next door neighbor two weeks ago. Everyone I know has either been a crime victim or has neighbors who were, down here. There are gangs, drugs, prostitution, lots of clubs, all of that stuff... not to mention a pawn shop on every street corner. So people will bust into a house, steal anything they think they can pawn for drug money, and play the odds that the owner of that stuff hasn't stored its serial numbers in a law enforcement database which will cause the person attempting to pawn the stuff to be caught and arrested. (Even if they are caught, they can't necessarily be charged with burglary- only possessing and trying to pawn stolen property.)

To give you an idea, I and my wife have not been crime victims to any extent for the two years we've lived in this neighborhood. However, a couple of days ago, I had to be gone all day (far away) and my wife said she was constantly listening for sounds that shouldn't be there, looking out the window to make sure everything was secure, etc.

So the biggest reason why we're looking to move back is personal safety.

Beyond that, I have come to discover that it isn't quite as cheap for utilities as I thought it'd be. My calculations were right on about how it is cheaper to air condition a house than it is to heat a house, but I failed to consider watering the yard. When it's constantly over 100 degrees and you don't get rain for weeks at a time, you have to water your yard to make sure it doesn't die... and that can cost a fortune. Ultimately, it makes things even out.

Southern states are home to a lot of people who seem to enjoy committing crimes on a regular basis even in the rural areas. (To verify this, go online and search for "most and least peaceful states". Nine out of the ten least peaceful are in the south. Gee, I wonder why?!) To get to a safer place, you have to go north.... perhaps the cold weather really does keep the riffraff away, as a lady in North Dakota once told me. I'm at a point where I really don't give a rip about economic health because I'm looking to live self-sufficiently anyway... and I can cobble a living together somehow no matter where I am, I'd figure. Texas has a lot of good points but this area isn't a good place to raise a family... and if we're going to leave the area, we may as well check out the best places in the country to raise a family and live self-sufficiently because we'll have to leave my business behind anyway no matter where we go.
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:24 PM
 
10 posts, read 11,527 times
Reputation: 10
because they realize how much better it is in NY, they miss it, in my room I have on my wall the subway system of NY and a painting of NY and I'm always thinking about it every day, it's an obsession because of the nonexistent social life I have here in the south where I'm currently living
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:52 PM
 
Location: Walker, Louisiana (I miss the mountains)
1,839 posts, read 1,883,187 times
Reputation: 1345
Quote:
Originally Posted by RomaniGypsy View Post
I've never lived in NY but I did live in PA just a few miles from the NY border, so I imagine I can answer this. I moved from PA to Killeen, Texas in 2008 and am now investigating moving back north.

I moved to TX for the very same reason why most people leave their comfortable little towns... economic opportunity. Northwest PA was never that economically strong, but things weren't anywhere near "good enough" for the business I wanted to run. Faced with either moving or going bankrupt, I elected to move.

Four years later, my values have changed somewhat. This area may be economically robust (at least for now), but there is a shocking amount of riffraff here. I live in a reasonably decent neighborhood (or at least it looked decent when I moved in, there were many people who'd lived here for decades, etc) but within the past year there have been three home break-ins on my block alone... the most recent being my next door neighbor two weeks ago. Everyone I know has either been a crime victim or has neighbors who were, down here. There are gangs, drugs, prostitution, lots of clubs, all of that stuff... not to mention a pawn shop on every street corner. So people will bust into a house, steal anything they think they can pawn for drug money, and play the odds that the owner of that stuff hasn't stored its serial numbers in a law enforcement database which will cause the person attempting to pawn the stuff to be caught and arrested. (Even if they are caught, they can't necessarily be charged with burglary- only possessing and trying to pawn stolen property.)

To give you an idea, I and my wife have not been crime victims to any extent for the two years we've lived in this neighborhood. However, a couple of days ago, I had to be gone all day (far away) and my wife said she was constantly listening for sounds that shouldn't be there, looking out the window to make sure everything was secure, etc.

So the biggest reason why we're looking to move back is personal safety.

Beyond that, I have come to discover that it isn't quite as cheap for utilities as I thought it'd be. My calculations were right on about how it is cheaper to air condition a house than it is to heat a house, but I failed to consider watering the yard. When it's constantly over 100 degrees and you don't get rain for weeks at a time, you have to water your yard to make sure it doesn't die... and that can cost a fortune. Ultimately, it makes things even out.

Southern states are home to a lot of people who seem to enjoy committing crimes on a regular basis even in the rural areas. (To verify this, go online and search for "most and least peaceful states". Nine out of the ten least peaceful are in the south. Gee, I wonder why?!) To get to a safer place, you have to go north.... perhaps the cold weather really does keep the riffraff away, as a lady in North Dakota once told me. I'm at a point where I really don't give a rip about economic health because I'm looking to live self-sufficiently anyway... and I can cobble a living together somehow no matter where I am, I'd figure. Texas has a lot of good points but this area isn't a good place to raise a family... and if we're going to leave the area, we may as well check out the best places in the country to raise a family and live self-sufficiently because we'll have to leave my business behind anyway no matter where we go.
This is a big reason I want to go back north. That and I miss the beautiful hills of NY.

I'm sorry but people here are careless, lazy and ignorant.

We have our rednecks and idjits up north but at least it's not the dominant culture. x.x
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Yellow Brick Road
35,564 posts, read 43,729,867 times
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I am going to interject myself into this conversation b/c as a native North Carolinian, whose family (both sides) settled part of this state in the early 1700s, I think I know NC and the surrounding states very well (culturally).

NC is a beautiful state as far as travel destinations. I grew up thinking it was beautiful here, but that there were probably spots on the planet much more enticing. After having traveled most of this country and part of the rest of the planet, I learned that actually - NC has a wonderful mix of beautiful areas and no, there are not that many spectacular sights to be seen elsewhere.

Having said that . . . I never really understood what it meant -- really -- to be Southern til I moved away from the South.

Part of my Dad's family had relocated to both PA and NJ after WWII, so we spent part of every summer visiting "up North." I was often quite intimidated by the "in yer face" sort of repartee that takes place regularly between folks "in the North." I will never forget the utter sick in the gut feeling I experienced when my Aunt and Uncle took us into Manhattan in their new Thunderbird convertible (top down) . . . and OMG - the yelling back and forth . . . I feared for my life, lol. It was my introduction at age 6 to how different Southern culture is from Northern culture (we are speaking in generalities here!). Cab drivers would yell - my Aunt would yell back. It was frightening and I couldn't understand how my Aunt and Uncle seemed so nonplussed by it all. I decided everyone "up there" must just be mean as hell, lol.

I fell in love with deli food . . . and couldn't wait til summer came several years later and we attended the World's Fair. We were accosted by a gang of kids in the subway when my Dad got lost . . . I decided people all had chains on their clothes and greasy hair . . . and were out to kill and maim in subways; cab drivers were from the deepest recesses of hell; the average person never spoke - they yelled; and everyone hated Southerners and treated us like we were the dumbest rubes from outer mongolia when we had to ask for directions or help in figuring out the train stops . . .

But I was fascinated by urban life and kept coming back, even tho I felt I had entered a cultural jungle that made me physically ill with terror at times. It was worth it to get to go to a good museum, lol.

I typically made at least one trip a year into Manhattan to shop . . . and I fancied myself quite cosmopolitan by age 25. I knew my way around . . . and if someone whistled at me, it didn't scare the hell outta me as it did at 14. If someone was rude to me, I dripped Southern-ness and told them to kiss my fluffy pink Southern Belle Butt. People loved it. I learned the art of the humorous comeback.

I fell in love with Manhattan.

I moved to the midwest (loved Kansas City!) and it was during that period that I came to understand what it meant to be a Southerner - and yes, it is a distinct culture, but it varies from region to region.

I moved back to NC (job move) and had to be dragged back, literally. That was 10 years ago. I am often homesick for Kansas City.

I have immense sympathy for anyone moving to the South from "up North." It is as mystifying to newcomers from NYC as NYC was for me -- until I figured things out -- til I came to understand the "short hand" language. People move fast; you can't stand around like a doofus in the middle of an intersection, confused, lol.

Southerners feel disrespected by the rest of the country. It is totally unacceptable to mock, deride or stereotype any other group in this country. Yet, everyone loves to mock Southerners. We are taught - always be understated. No one likes a braggart. Never flaunt your education or your wealth; it may make someone less fortunate feel condescended to. Don't raise your voice in public - only trash yells (save the knock downs for home - domestic violence is all too common here). Always dress properly for the occasion; don't embarrass yourself in public; better to let others think you are dumb than open your mouth and prove it; God and Country come first; be loyal to your community/state; look on the bright side; fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on you; personal responsibility is the foundation of freedom; unions and people who work for the government are entitled and basically looking for the easy way out; make do with what you have; and people who move from Up North are typically carpetbaggers just wanting to use up "our" resources for their gain; avoid arguments at all costs, b/c polite folks do not argue in public places. No matter how bad something is, don't make an issue out of it, unless your job, your community, your religion, your family or your dog is being insulted, LOL.

Most larger cities in the South are not that Southern any more. You won't run into that many natives unless you are in more rural areas, small towns. In Charlotte, where I live, there are actually more newcomers than natives. Many people never even get to know natives, unless their work puts them in contact w/ natives. The newer neighborhood are usually filled with transplants -- often folks will find that someone in their neighborhood went to their high school. I have friends from NY who have found relatives of friends and folks they knew back in their former neighborhood - who have relocated here.

You just have to find your tribe - which is true wherever you go.

And you have to learn how to negotiate conversations, what topics are tabu, what behavior is considered boorish and unacceptable. Once you learn these things, you blend in.

I can understand why folks would move here and become disillusioned. I know folks who have moved back "up North" be it NJ, NY or CT . . . Someone earlier posted that the New South was rather bland, even mediocre. I would agree with that. I get frustrated here myself. I like to say Charlotte is a great place to move so you can go somewhere else - meaning - to the mountains or the beach (and the only beach that natives consider to be a proper beach would be the Charleston area -- up to Georgetown . . . then skip most everything til you get to the Outer Banks, lol - altho Wilmington/Wrightsville Beach does have some nice attributes). NO ONE, and I repeat NO ONE ever moves to Myrtle Beach unless it is for a job.

As far as the heat . . . it has been unseasonably warm at times since I moved back here . . . but after Kansas, OMG. Yes, the humidity can be stifling, but you learn to adjust . . . you carry a spray bottle around with you and use it on your face and neck, along with a hanky . . . you carry bottled water (or a mimosa disguised as orange juice, LOL) . . . you wear a hat and you go outside early in the day and late in the evening. You drink gallons of tea and water every day . . . you wear linen as much as possible, you have a screened porch with several ceiling fans . . .

No way people can move here and immediately "get" Southerners. The sense of humor is very different and often, the sense of propriety, what is proper and acceptable behavior, is different. I am in marketing so always noticing trends and demographics. Do you remember how popular the show "Everyone Loves Raymond" was in the NE? Well, it was never popular in the South. Why? The humor is so different. The way folks interact is a put off to Southerners (typically). You just don't talk to people the way those folks talk to one another. Southerners are not amused at that behavior . . . and I used to remember what show was popular in the South but never was a hit in NY/NJ . . . but I have noticed most newcomers detest Paula Deen, lol. They think she is fake and she's not. She is just lowcountry Southern (Savannah) wh/ has its own culture.

If I were raising children at this period in my life, they would attend private schools. That is how I feel about the school system in Charlotte, and it is better than many of the schools systems in other areas.

My advice to folks who are considering a move to NC (or any Southern state) would be to really do your homework b/f you take the plunge. If transferred with a job, realize that relationships don't form overnight in the South, especially in small towns. Folks know each other, often from childhood, and not only that - their granddaddies and greatgrandaddies knew each other, as well. People are going to need to determine if you are a carpetbagger, a union rebel rouser, a malcontent . . . Stereotypical thinking? Yes, but based on experiences of the past.

If you move here and can't make it feel like home after 3-5 years, it isn't going to happen. But just realize, you probably seem as strange to Southerners as they seem to you.
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Where my bills arrive
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/\/\

A very insightfull observation and probally one of the best descriptions of my family growing up. In restrospect and to this day we yell.....Thanks +1
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
4,278 posts, read 3,329,198 times
Reputation: 4188
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Part of my Dad's family had relocated to both PA and NJ after WWII, so we spent part of every summer visiting "up North." I was often quite intimidated by the "in yer face" sort of repartee that takes place regularly between folks "in the North." I will never forget the utter sick in the gut feeling I experienced when my Aunt and Uncle took us into Manhattan in their new Thunderbird convertible (top down) . . . and OMG - the yelling back and forth . . . I feared for my life, lol. It was my introduction at age 6 to how different Southern culture is from Northern culture (we are speaking in generalities here!). Cab drivers would yell - my Aunt would yell back. It was frightening and I couldn't understand how my Aunt and Uncle seemed so nonplussed by it all. I decided everyone "up there" must just be mean as hell, lol.
Everyone who isn't originally from NYC feels the same way. I'm from Upstate NY and feel my soul being sucked out of me every time I'm in NYC. I'm very tense and stressed. NYC is what it is because there's 10 million people squished into a shoebox. It's one hell of a rat race. You couldn't pay me enough to live there. I'd be in prison because I'd never go outside.

Now Boston, I can walk around in and be totally at ease. Figure that one out! Both cities have a completely different vibe. I get stressed out to the point of having a migraine every time I go to Charlotte. Driving there is hell. It's getting as bad as Atlanta, but with 2-3 lanes instead of 7-8 which really doesn't help the traffic.

One big thing Southerners have assumed incorrectly is that everyone from the Northeast is like people from NYC. Outside of NYC no one is like that. Sure they may speak a bit louder than Southerners, but often times you can barely hear Southerners. There is a lot of behind the back whispering with Southerners. Northerners will tell you to your face if they have a problem with you. It's much more honest. No point in buttering you up to only trash you before you turn around.

Some of it is cultural and some it isn't. Some of it is just downright rudeness. I can't tell you how many times I've been treated rudely by someone in SC and GA because of where I'm from. I was treated like trash before I even spoke to someone. She gave me a lot of lip after I was introduced by someone else. In my 35 years of living in NY, I have NEVER EVER heard anyone tell someone to take I95 home.
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