Would you just "pop in on friends/family" without calling first? (husband, girls)

[sablebaby]

I NEVER do! But, my bf from chicago WOULD. I always tell him not to. Like the last person, I need to know a head of time (to clean my house! ) Now if I just hired a cleaning person I'd be ok with it.

[ellie]

I don't often drop in unannounced, but will if they are the kinds of friends I can drop in on. People can drop in on me, if they want.

In general, though, it's better to call ahead. These days with cell phones, it's sort of like ringing the doorbell from down the street.

[Summer16]

This is something that is interesting. I grew up where friends and family always dropped in on each other and our own home was an open invite policy. I always figured we were close knit Italian, originally from a city, and this is what everyone did.

Flash forward, and I get married. My husband, his family and friends are the complete opposite. They would never do that.

It almost felt like a cultural clashing with my side's "door's always open" policy, and his sides "Always call first".

It really was surprising when I began to learn that not everyone has the welcome policy, and while I understand now, (of course life teaches many lessons , I think people who would take offense misinterpret the dropper by.

It was always the natural thing for people that were loved or very close to have this unspoken policy. It also went for invites. We grew up open-invitation. No one called to formally invite anyone over. Sunday dinner was Sunday dinner and everyone was invited and included. My husband's family wants and needs the invitation, however, and I definitely had to adapt to this. For so long I didn't get why they didn't come over. It was just completely different ways of growing up.

[Roaddog]

No I always call unless I'm invited and most of my friends and family do the same.

[aiangel_writer]

I can honestly say that I relate with you on that. My dh's family were thesame way, and even now, after 25 years of marriage into this family, my mother in law will knock before she comes in.

I have pretty much always had an open invite home as well, and my children still bring home friends then ask if they can stay the night. I have one tonight. Sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no, it is according to what is going on around my work.

I do work from home and have let everyone know that my job is important to the whole family as I contribute to our income, and sadly, sometimes when they come over or call when I am working I am angry that they dont' remember, after all, I have been doing this job for 10 years.

Yet, I do not get ugly, I even say to family, I have to have this done by this afternoon, and they will say, just go ahead, I'll just keep you company. After a little while, seeing that I cannot talk when I am on the phone or typing out a report or what have you, they will leave. I hate to be rude, but then again, they are being rude in coming over at a time I have specified is my work hours.

My father in law has started to show up during the afternoons for afternoon coffee and later on for dinner. I have been feeding him for about three years now and he is comfortable enough to just come right in. I don't mind because he does not bother me if I am working, will simply put on a pot of coffee if there is none, and I can enjoy a cup as well, then when he drinks it, he leaves.

[floridadreamer]

I have a few close friends, but they are all kind of spread out, so I usually call. I do have one or two that are used to people just stopping by so if I happen to be passing, I might stop in just say hello but not to stay for dinner or anything. Although, I do have one filipina friend that always insists on feeding me for some reason.

I think it's understandable that some people get busy doing things and don't have time to just stop and "entertain".

[Miss Blue]

I always give friends and family a call if I plan on dropping in, so I don't put them in an awkward position if they have plans. I never just open anybodys door without knocking and announcing myself, this goes for my relatives too. On the other hand, people who come to our house just come on in , go to refrigerator for a snack, and holler for me..I stopped two of my son inlaws from that, by setting the alarm when I saw them coming..That was so much fun The looks on their faces was priceless

[foursonsdad]

I love company/friends but i appreciate a call just in case I have plans and I do the same when I visit

[birdrgal]

I think people who drop in unannounced should be chained naked to a giant fire-ant mound and left there for 3 days. Okay, maybe only 2...

Seriously though, IMHO it's the worst kind of rudeness. My ex-boyfriend's mother did that to me once, back in the 70s. He and I worked fulltime, so the weekends were the only time I had to do anything. His parents were retired, lived about 20 mins away. I usually spent my Saturdays housecleaning but this ONE summer day my friend called and asked if I wanted to go to an antique show in the next town, so I stopped in mid-cleaning and went for a couple of hours. My BFs parents chose THAT DAY to drop in WITH FOUR OF THEIR FRIENDS "to show everyone our son's nice home". I came home to find 7 people sitting in my (messy) kitchen, drinking and having a high old time. My vac cleaner was in the middle of the living room where I'd left it, and I hadn't got to the bathroom yet. BF was there all the time but did he think to clean up at all? NO.

I was mortified and let my BF know how I felt about people just dropping in before calling first (I wasn't raised that way). He told his mother who said I was being "unreasonable" because SHE "just loves it when people drop in".

For years afterward I had to endure occasional snippy comments from her about "I'd have liked to drop in and say hello to my son, but didn't want to UPSET you by not calling first..." (this was pre-cellphone era).

If I'm not expecting someone, I don't answer the door.

[leavingcali]

I hate when people do this! I never do it--what if the hubby and the wifey are having some alone time (if you know what I mean), etc. etc. My husband's family likes to do this. One uncle justs stops by, and the rest will call on their way (they live 5 mins away). I think it is so annoying and so rude! Maybe if I kept a cleaner house I wouldn't mind as much?