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Old 07-24-2010, 12:51 AM
 
Location: The Mitten
800 posts, read 1,116,203 times
Reputation: 651

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If any of you have a friend or relative that you hung-out with a lot or went to school with, did this happen to you?

During high school, me and my brother had to do a lot of things together. Walk to school, take the same classes, blah blah. I had a lot of friends that were girls. One who I was very interested in. We did quite a bit together for about 2-3 years of school. I didn't know it at the time, but she was really going for my brother. I must of been blind or something. For the whole entire time we were friends, she didn't even know his first name. On our senior year she avoided me and drastically changed her appearance.

It sucked. It was actually multiple girls in school like this. I still have fears today. Even though my brother is married now, I still try to blame him for my failures or....wait, they're not even failures anymore, I don't bother to attempt.

His wife introduced me to a few of her girl friends. One was really quiet and shy and basically just wanted to get out as fast as possible. That night, his wife set up a blind date. It was with my brother and his wife, so it was with people she knew. I suggested we go bowling. It was 3-1 in favor of bowling. My brother said lets just go back to his place and watch a movie. It stopped there. She never shown up, which we're supposed to meet there.

Hmm these paragraphs make it sound like its me. I pretty much don't care anymore but I don't want to end up alone.
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:51 AM
 
13,832 posts, read 14,662,123 times
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so out and meet some new people. have some fun and stop worrying. you will find someone.
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Old 07-24-2010, 12:24 PM
 
12,344 posts, read 13,585,702 times
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When I met my wife I never met her sister till much later in the relationship.

When I finally met her she was a thin blonde with big boobs. I could feel the tension as if at some point my wife lost a few boyfriends to her sister.

Years have passed and I find her less attractive cause I know her personality.

However she was flirty with me when she was single and wild. I had to avoid her in a way just so I didn't make my wife feel like you.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:01 PM
 
577 posts, read 1,582,855 times
Reputation: 445
If you have fears about this then get your brother out of the picture when you start to date. Introduce him later when you've built a relationship with someone and are confident.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,779 posts, read 13,363,470 times
Reputation: 11309
That sucks dude.

Let's see... in high school, there was a girl I was way into that one of my best friends started dating despite knowing I was pining for her and puttin' on the moves. I was pissed off for awhile, but then I chilled out and resigned myself to the fact that she was never my girlfriend and so it wasn't anything for me to be pissed off about.

Then, in our early 20's, he started seeing a girl whom I thought was attractive. All three of us got along great and hung out a lot, and the fact that I'm a dom and she's a sub and he's vanilla never really came up... until they broke up. She called one day and wanted to hang out with me, we had a bit too much to drink, and the next thing you know, I'm in bed with one of my best friend's exes :facepalm: We resolved not to tell my friend about this - ever.

So imagine my shock when one of my exes smugly texts me the next afternoon and asks if my friend has talked to me yet. When I asked "about what?" she responded, "you screwing his ex." :facepalm: :facepalm:

I manned up to it and dropped by to talk to him, and he wasn't exactly happy but was fair about the fact they'd broken up, and he'd done un-dudely things to me in the past. We grabbed beers, they got back together, we're all cool, and the sexual tension is only just barely perceptible.

In your case, I would say that you need to similarly chalk the past up to living and learning. If your bro had actually taken your girlfriend, I could see some animosity, though I take it it's been quite some time since then. I think you need to let go of the past and just cruise on.

Also, it sounds like though you want a date/girlfriend, you've resigned yourself to your "fate" and are now just sort of cruising and hoping that you'll stumble into something, or that someone else will stumble into your path. Eventually, someone very well may, but a lot of the people I've met who eventually "stumble" into something, stumble into something that isn't their ideal for the simple reason that they let happenstance shape their life as opposed to will. What are the odds that you'll stumble into what you're looking for? Not very high. You can't force it, but you can't just walk away from it... it's a tough equilibrium.
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