Greatly Disliking a Friend's Spouse (wife, husbands, house, feel) - Issues with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

mrstewart · 07-25-2010, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSizzle225

You were pregnant? Then how is your name "Mr. Stewart?"

Haha! The M and the R are my initials and Stewart is a family name..

You had a secret man crush on me, didn't you? It's ok, you can fess up!

lovesMountains · 07-25-2010, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrstewart

Haha! The M and the R are my initials and Stewart is a family name..

You had a secret man crush on me, didn't you? It's ok, you can fess up!

hahahahahahahaha - you know he did!!!!

JSizzle225 · 07-25-2010, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrstewart

Haha! The M and the R are my initials and Stewart is a family name..

You had a secret man crush on me, didn't you? It's ok, you can fess up!

LOL heck no. Mad Men is on now. I have a man crush on Don Draper. Actually I find him fascinating yet vile.

mrstewart · 07-25-2010, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

hahahahahahahaha - you know he did!!!!

I was hoping so!

JSizzle225 · 07-25-2010, 10:58 PM

Stuart is my mom's family name but they are really Wallace's. I hope that guy who is stealing Betty Draper chokes on a green olive!!!!

mrstewart · 07-25-2010, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSizzle225

Stuart is my mom's family name but they are really Wallace's. I hope that guy who is stealing Betty Draper chokes on a green olive!!!!

We have Stuarts as well...hmmmmm.....

Why a green olive? A black calamata seems much more sinister!

MMichelle · 07-25-2010, 11:06 PM

I would avoid seeing your cousin with husband. You should be able to see her alone. Of course, it's her call - if she can not insist that she see you alone, there is little you can do about that.

I would suggest you contact her by phone. Ask to meet her - alone - for girl talk. When you meet with her tell her what she already knows: "Your husband and I just don't seem to connect. I love you and always will. I want to see you and don't want the friction between (husband's name) and me to make you uncomfortable. I would love to get together with you from time to time but it may be easier if we make it - just us, you and I." Expect her to defend her husband. Don't make it a "me or him" choice. But hold firm that you enjoy seeing her but find him a distraction. Make it clear that you are not saying that you will never see or speak to him again - but you would perfer to see her alone. Call it, girl time.

fallingwater · 07-25-2010, 11:46 PM

I have this problem as well. It amazes me how opposites attract. My friend is sweet, kind and well mannered. Her husband is overly macho and needs to be center of attention all the time. If I call her, he chimes in from the background. Its very annoying. When she had her son's birthday party, her husband (who is in karate) ran up to me and did a kick where his foot was inches from my face! I guess I thought that was supposed to be cool or something. That was pretty much it for me. If I know that she and I can go somewhere and meet for lunch, great but I do not go to her house anymore.

Joliefille · 07-26-2010, 01:56 AM

I wouldn't cut off all contact, as that would be playing into his hands. Seems like he is purposely trying to impede her relationships, which is one of the signs of an abuser.

Let her know you are always there for HER, but you can't deal with his stuff. Try to see her alone, if possible. If needed, take a friend or family member with you when you meet. Don't let him run off her support system.

max's mama · 07-26-2010, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllAboutEve

I just met my cousin and her husband for shopping and dinner. Me and her husband have a history of tension, and animosity but lately we've been trying to get along.

Everything went well until about the last 15 minutes of dinner when he snapped at me. I defended myself but felt completely taken aback and irritated. We managed to smooth things over for the rest of dinner, but I was ready to leave at that point.

I have been trying to get along with this man for the past 5 years, but I feel at this point that I am ready to give up. At times he has even prevented her from seeing me, and she has had to lie to him when we meet for something as simple as lunch.

I love my cousin, but I am simply tired of his crap.

Anyone else have to deal with this?

I can sympathise. I had to deal with my sister's manipulative and arrogant ex-husband for 10 years. Biting my tongue and trying not to say anything for so long for the sake of my sister - that was a nightmare for me!!!

The best advice I can give you is to just avoid spending time with him. If you want to hang out with your cousin, have "girls time" with her. I'm sure she knows what's going on and also wants to avoid confrontations. There is nothing else you can do about this situation, he is her husband and she will on his side even when he is wrong.