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I'm not sure there are any answers, except maybe to just say "excuse me," and walk away. There are lots of people who "talk at you" while pretending to have a conversation.
Tish Thompson, I love your comments. I belong to a couple of community groups and am seriously thinking about exiting because of having to listen to long winded stories that do not get to the point.
I'm also a quiet person and get totally drained by talkative people. It drives me nuts.
I don't want to be rude and I'm not a mean person so when I first meet someone I try to make as much conversation as possible, and put some effort into it, but if I'm seeing this person in my face on a daily basis then in a few months time I just I can't take it anymore, give it a year and I stop talking all together and just give them a glare/nod and they leave me alone. I know it's drastic and sad, I don't like judging people who I just meet so I give them the "chance" but once I find out what kind of person they are (talkative) I can't help but shut down and ignore them, they generally get the message and avoid me.
If you've ever seen the 1996 version of Pride and Prejudice- the mini series and you notice how Mr. Darcy stares are Mr. Collins at one of the parties when he goes on about knowing his aunt lady catherine, that's exactly how I handle the situation, just like Mr. Darcy. It may be rude but it's the only way. It works too, they often shut up and leave me alone, it just requires a lot of effort, less draining but still effort.
My mother's boyfriend is like that. A really nice guy, but absolutely cannot stand a lapse in conversation. What's more everything relates back to his Air Force days no matter what. Failing that, he'll go off on a soliloquy on any key word that gives him an opening.
Honest to God, my wife and I had dropped the kids off at my mother's once so we could go to an appointment. When we returned, her boyfriend was there. So, in passing, I mention to my mother that some tree service people up the street were using a wood chipper. All this guy had to do was hear the term "Wood Chipper," and he launched in to a 35-minute ramble about wood-chippers. I could not get an opening to say, "Thanks, gotta go," if my life had depended on it.
People like this also are notoriously unmindful of the situation around them. Once a year, we go out and decorate our father's grave. A somber occasion, right? Well, the last time we were out there planting flowers, this guy decides to go off on this gratuitous spiel about this guy in high school he knew who was run over by a bus. It went on for at least 20 minutes. My mother finally told him to shut up.
My BIL's mother was like that too. NEVER shut up. I think it's just nervousness on their parts, but that doesn't not make you want to hit them in the head with a brick. You'd think they'd see glazed expressions and stifled yawns among their audience and shut the hell up already.
I almost choked the guy in front of me at the grocery store a short while ago...he would not shut up and he was talking to the woman in front of him whoh obviously was freaked out by him and then the poor cashier, Dorothy...he was a just being rude and sort of scary...talking about how nervous he would be if he were a woman having to walk out into the parking lot alone...then he asked if I was afraid to go out by myself...odd guy...and too talkative!!
I almost choked the guy in front of me at the grocery store a short while ago...he would not shut up and he was talking to the woman in front of him whoh obviously was freaked out by him and then the poor cashier, Dorothy...he was a just being rude and sort of scary...talking about how nervous he would be if he were a woman having to walk out into the parking lot alone...then he asked if I was afraid to go out by myself...odd guy...and too talkative!!
I will say this. After a day of pretty much being by myself (With the occasional client meeting) and/or dealing with kids by myself for three hours at the end of the day, I have to physically restrain myself from jabbering at Mrs. CPG when she hits the door after a day at the office. After all, she's likely the only adult I've seen all day, but she's been in meetings or dealing with staff members for 9-10 hours. So she really needs her 10-20 minutes to decompress.
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It works too, they often shut up and leave me alone, it just requires a lot of effort, less draining but still effort.
