Dealing with people who talk too much (wife, boyfriend, father)

[luv80s]

I'm sure we all know people who talk to much but how do you handle it? Do you just tune them out (most of the time I do) or what? I'm not someone who is shy and quiet but not a motormouth either. But there are a few people I know that its hard to get in a word when speaking with them. There are times I feel like yelling, "Will you please JUST SHUT UP!"

Example: My mother. She will give you every single little detail on the most mundane things or will tell you things that you already know how to do. For instance, she can't just say there was a rude customer in front of her at the grocery store. She'll tell you just about everything that led up to her being in the grocery store-the time she woke up this morning, how she couldn't find her shoes, etc. Twenty minutes later she'll finally get to the story about the rude customer.

Another example: Best friend. She talks and talks and talks and talks....You get the point. You can't break in to give your opinion or whatnot because she's already on another topic. SHe'll call me up and starts talking about her problems right away with barely asking me how I am doing. Thirty minutes to an hour later, after her lips are starting to turn blue, she ask to see how I'm doing, lol.

Another example: Friend who is almost a narcissist. Everything is about her and how great she is or great people think she is. Talks about herself way too much and again, will have to give you every single little detail about everything.

I love these people but gosh do they get annoying! All I feel like I ever say is "Yeah, uh-huh, ok" etc. I mean occasionally I get a few words in, hehe. There have been times I can put down the phone with these women and go get a drink of water or go to the bathroom AND THEY ARE STILL TALKING!!!

I've always been one that people come to for advice, almost like a therapist with out the great pay. It gets old though. Guess I'm too nice

So people how do deal with the blabbermouths in your lives? I'm curious because I really need to do something about it before I go nuts.

[Jammie]

I know you're serious, but your post is kind of funny. We ALL have had thoughts that our Mothers ramble on. OK and now as I get older, I find myself having that same trait.

Sorry I don't really have an answer for you. Imho there's just no easy way to change others. BUT I am well aware of Narcississm and you need to RUN in the opposite direction for your own well-being. Guess you're just one of those people that others feel comfy with and feel they can be themselves and ramble on about nothing.

[taigagirl]

My mother never shuts up either, same thing for her sisters etc. My Dad actually had to put in another phone line when he retired (plus call-waiting), he couldn't believe the hours she spent on the phone!! She is truly a "master motormouth". She can easily manage both lines plus call-waiting, and she refuses to pay for either. Now she has a head-set too!! It's insane. I think she is living out her (non-attained) dream of being a radio-talk show host. I think lots of people's mothers are just as bad LOL. My ex used to just put the phone down when she called and go Uh-Uh, every once in awhile. Same thing for other people. That seemed to work for him most of the time. Try it, and see what happens, or just politely excuse yourself (that's what I do now).

[Jonah K]

My sister is the loquacious one in the family. I've learned to deal with it by practicing "selective listening." If she mentions anything to do with money, real estate, food, computers, or vehicles, I'm "all ears." If she talks about anything else, I might "hear" her, but I'm not listening. Usually, I'll throw in a "Really?" or a "You don't say?" every couple of minutes or so to keep up my end of the "conversation" when I'm tuning her out.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by taigagirl

My mother never shuts up either, same thing for her sisters etc. My Dad actually had to put in another phone line when he retired (plus call-waiting), he couldn't believe the hours she spent on the phone!! She is truly a "master motormouth". She can easily manage both lines plus call-waiting, and she refuses to pay for either. Now she has a head-set too!! It's insane. I think she is living out her (non-attained) dream of being a radio-talk show host. I think lots of people's mothers are just as bad LOL. My ex used to just put the phone down when she called and go Uh-Uh, every once in awhile. Same thing for other people. That seemed to work for him most of the time. Try it, and see what happens, or just politely excuse yourself (that's what I do now).

All the women in my family are motormouths, especially on my mother's side - and yes, that includes myself.
My poor grandfather was surrounded by women, with a wife, two daughters, and eventually three granddaughters! Whenever we got too much for him, he'd simply turn off the hearing aid & peacefully read a book. He was a dear, sweet man, and probably didn't get to complete a sentence for 60 years - LOL.

[Lisa_from_Debary]

I tend to avoid those kind of people, there are times when it doesn't bother me so much but then there are times when I want to reach across and slap the person to make them shut up...thats when I make a point of STAYING away !!!

Sometimes I have to have silence.

[sun queen]

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I talk way too much and I ramble on a bit too. I find what works to "put a sock in my mouth" is the silence of the other party. When it dawns on me I am the only one talking I know I have said too much, so I make every effort to be quiet and give someone else a turn. I certainly get the hint if u ignore me altogether.

[Synopsis]

I know exactly how you feel. I have a relative that will not say something like "I put cabinets in my kitchen last week - they're white with gold trim." They would have to talk about every little minor detail leading up to and during the installation of those cabinets, and will go off on a tangent about a dozen other topics that never make any sense. By the time you've spent one hour on the phone, you've touched on about 1 zillion topics and never even discussed anything because all of the talking has been on one end of the phone (theirs). I hate it and I usually avoid conversations at all costs with this person.

[amanduh_p]

haha the part about your mother is the exact same as my mom. She talks a lottttttttttttt and all about her day and she'll tell me the same thing 5 times over! im the type of person who would rather listen to a story than tell one but if she starts to really get on my nerve i start interupting her until she stops talking & lets me get a word in!
Its funny though because my boyfriend knows that whenever i say im going to stop by & see my mom he knows that means ill be there for a good hour at least since she talks so much!

[SandyCo]

I was married to someone like this! He was a gun collector, so if someone happened to ask about one gun, he would then go into:

1. The history of this gun - how he got it, how much he paid, how he reloads, etc.
2. The history of every other gun he ever owned.
3. The history of reloading and guns in general.
4. Why the NRA was the best agency ever, blah blah blah...

I got to the point where I automatically tuned him out. Of course, if there was anything important in the one-sided conversation, I usually missed it! That led to accusations of, "I told you that already!"

And yes, he was someone you could also do the "put the phone down, go to the bathroom, then run to the convenience store for a couple of things, come back, and he'd STILL be talking!!!" thing with.

The good news is that I'll never again end up with someone like him, because people who talk too much now are an immediate turnoff!