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My sister has asked for my assistance in securing a mortgage since she will not qualify. There is really nobody else out there to help her... I make it a point to go through the fine details but she has been incredibly rude during the process... accusing me of nitpicking the details but that's because I am a detail-oriented person (I don't jump in blindly)... Its gotten to a point that I am deciding to withdraw my help... I can get incredibly favorable terms for the loan because of my VIP status with the bank... I am sure she can afford everything but her attitude is a problem... I am helping her and not the other way around but she is the one with the attitude...
She's being rude to someone who is trying to help her? Fuhgettaboudit! Let her find her own dang mortgage!
I have to totally jump in on agreement with Rakin. If she's being rude to you now when she is in the "wooing" stage, imagine how she will be when she has any kind of issue which makes paying the rent, taxes, or insurance a problem?
If she had a great history I might lend (give) my sister some money to help her out but cosigning is a whole nother ballgame. He would be her "Safety Net" knowing if she can't make a payment, he must. I would want her to send the payment to me so I could make sure the loan was paid.
Thanksgiving dinner will never be the same when you Co-sign and the odds are about 98% that you somewhere will lose the relationship with your sister.
EDIT : I do add I believe in helping out people who help themselves. If you can afford the risk go ahead. If you have the resources to make a gift or it not be a problem for your family, I would change my answer above.
My sister has asked for my assistance in securing a mortgage since she will not qualify. There is really nobody else out there to help her... I make it a point to go through the fine details but she has been incredibly rude during the process... accusing me of nitpicking the details but that's because I am a detail-oriented person (I don't jump in blindly)... Its gotten to a point that I am deciding to withdraw my help... I can get incredibly favorable terms for the loan because of my VIP status with the bank... I am sure she can afford everything but her attitude is a problem... I am helping her and not the other way around but she is the one with the attitude...
You're the investing guy I've seen from the other board. I bet you're a cash cow
As long as you are sure you can cover for her inability to pay, then you can do it. Knowing your postings, I bet you do have a tangible backup plan.
Otherwise, do NOT listen to the people here. They have a notorious history of projecting their own mess on you
You're seeking relationship thoughts, and there are posters talking about credit history
My brother and I are bound by blood. He's very stable financially, and so am I. But there have been times when he and I helped each other almost involuntarily. I'll never hesitate pumping thousands into his account if he needs it, and he always reciprocates. And he and I are rude to each other at least once in 2 weeks. It's a very delicate relationship.
All I can say is that from the cradle to the grave, siblings are siblings. There are loving moments and there are rude moments. Only strangers are gentle and respectful to you ALL the time. Like co-workers and business partners. She's being rude coz she is probably embarrassed she is at your mercy, and that's understandable. It's simply her projection of self-esteem as to why you would go into the details and look like you are humiliating her on purpose. It's as simple as that.
All I can say is that from the cradle to the grave, siblings are siblings. There are loving moments and there are rude moments. Only strangers are gentle and respectful to you ALL the time. Like co-workers and business partners. She's being rude coz she is probably embarrassed she is at your mercy, and that's understandable. It's simply her projection of self-esteem as to why you would go into the details and look like you are humiliating her on purpose. It's as simple as that.
There are thousands of families that have been torn apart because of loaning money or just money in general. The solid relationship you have today will be different once a sibling owes you money.
The borrower is slave to the lender and as I mentioned Thanksgiving will always be different. There will be a huge elephant in the room making everyone uncomfortable.
AC, it's great you have this relationship with your Bro. I also would do anything for my brother cause he would only ask if needed and would always do the right thing. My sister is a different story, I would not be helping her out by loaning her money. It would hurt her and my relationship.
It really all boils down to knowing who you're doing the favor for.
My brother and I are bound by blood. He's very stable financially, and so am I. But there have been times when he and I helped each other almost involuntarily. I'll never hesitate pumping thousands into his account if he needs it, and he always reciprocates. And he and I are rude to each other at least once in 2 weeks. It's a very delicate relationship.
No. Your relationship with your brother is entirely different from the O.P.'s. Whereas you and your brother reciprocate monetary favours, this O.P.'s sister can't. The O.P. has a great credit rating and the bank connections, but his sister has a bad credit rating plus a lousy attitude towards him.
If the O.P. can afford to give his sister a down payment and be alright with never getting it back, then fine. But I think that as long as she is having a bad attitude towards him for the preliminary help, then that's a big red flag and he should just walk away from the situation for now. Maybe she feels entitled to her brother helping her and just doesn't want to be bothered with the details of the loan. However, a mortgage is a big deal and she'd better get her act together.
Perhaps later on, his sister will be in a better monetary position for a mortgage. I just don't think that she's ready to buy a place of her own right now. And perhaps later on, she will be nicer to her brother while he is helping her out with getting a loan.
No. There is a reason that she can't qualify, which pretty much guarantees that you are going to be much more involved with this house than you wish to be, most likely from the financial side. The fact that she can't get a mortgage should be enough of a clue that she is either not a good risk or doesn't have enough money to make it work.
Attitude notwithstanding, this sounds like a horrible idea. I agree with Rakin also. If you can make a gift of the house, then that's different. If not, don't get involved.
Or if you like the property that she is wanting to buy, then buy it for yourself and rent it to her. But have her sign a rental agreement.
It's just not smart to mix money and family/money and friendship. Large money transactions need to stay business-like and with all the legal paperwork neccessary.
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Period.
