Is it bad not having a whole lot of friends? (girlfriend, husband) - Issues with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

le roi · 10-11-2010, 08:29 AM

i happen to think that we're social creatures. and while i'm introverted, and i don't value having a "whole lot of friends", i think having at least a few GOOD friends is extremely important.

it is all about quality, not quantity.

Laura707 · 10-11-2010, 08:50 AM

I have always kept my number of friends to a small number. To many people have to much baggage and want to drag you into their drama. Life is to short for all that drama. I avoid people with a new major crisis every day.

I have really high expectations for friends (GOOD friends) and very few can meet those. I have 1 friend that has been my friend for over 40 years. I had another close friend for over 20 years that is dead now.

Violett · 10-11-2010, 08:59 AM

I started a thread/poll, just out of curiosity. What's the average number of friends that people have?

http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ends-have.html

LoveBoating · 10-11-2010, 09:02 AM

We have few-to-no friends and that isn't by our choosing, but just the way it is! We are in our early 60's and chose not to live anywhere near family (what is left of family). We are very selective in making friends, one big thing is.....no smokers (due to wife's asthma). A lot of couples in our age bracket act and look at least 10 years older than we do. And, some of our interests are really different from others in our age bracket.
We definitely like to make some friends in our age bracket and hopefully someday that will happen.

Coolhand68 · 10-11-2010, 09:05 AM

Define friends. Are we talking friends in real life or e-friends? If you're worried about people who have padded friends lists on Facebook or any other internet forum don't give it a second thought. Friends in real life--I'll take quality over quantity any day.

STT Resident · 10-11-2010, 09:53 AM

Speaking as an oldster (coming up 65), acquaintances are legion throughout life but if you can in all honesty count your friends at any one time on one hand you're in the "normal" zone and anything above that is the icing on the cake. People change, circumstances change and it's all one big continual ebb and flow.

ChessieMom · 10-11-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by West of Encino

A lot of people seem to look down on others who have no friends.

I'm not sure that I'd agree with that. I think it's more a case of viewing those without friends as having something going with them, either voluntary or involuntary, that precludes them from befriending others. And for most people (who tend to be rather social creatures), that's a bit of a murky water situation - not sure what's going on there, but it's probably best to avoid swimming there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by West of Encino

As a fierce isolationist, I have no interest in making a whole lot of friends. I really can't relate to most people, who are often judgmental and nosy. The only friends I have are my cousins and people through family, as well as a girl I'm currently seeing.

See...that is some murky water right there. You've already made assumptions about people that you haven't even gotten to know.

Hawk J · 10-11-2010, 10:49 AM

We mountain men don't have tooo many human friends. Have several forest dweller friends though...

ellie · 10-11-2010, 10:52 AM

If you're really an isolationist, why does it matter what we think?

Giesela · 10-11-2010, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChessieMom

I'm not sure that I'd agree with that. I think it's more a case of viewing those without friends as having something going with them, either voluntary or involuntary, that precludes them from befriending others. And for most people (who tend to be rather social creatures), that's a bit of a murky water situation - not sure what's going on there, but it's probably best to avoid swimming there.

Not to put words in the OPs mouth but I think that's what he means by being looked down on. So ChessieMom - agrees - social people don't want to swim with anyone that seems nonsocial.

People are suspicious of others without a social network. Like they are some sort of freak, threat, contagious. I think its pretty prevalent myself.
Anything different from the herd will be cut out as suspicious.
And yes, I would agree - feel superior to non-social types which I think is total BS. But the majority usually wins, right or wrong. "Burn the witch! Burn the Witch!"

As for how many friends is normal, sort of depends on age too, I think the older you get the harder it can be to make friends depending on the situation. As you get older you also tend to get more independent in your opinions.