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Old 10-14-2010, 10:51 AM
 
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The thread isn't about young people. It is about people over the age of 30. That is a true blue adult. Adults take responsibility for themselves. There are always unusual circumstances that mean someone needs their family's help. That's normal.

Moving back home for no real reason other than to save money, or 'in between jobs, is not a good enough reason to forgo your independence.

If you can't get your act together by 30 then really, come on.
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Old 10-14-2010, 11:06 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,084,990 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
The thread isn't about young people. It is about people over the age of 30. That is a true blue adult. Adults take responsibility for themselves. There are always unusual circumstances that mean someone needs their family's help. That's normal.

Moving back home for no real reason other than to save money, or 'in between jobs, is not a good enough reason to forgo your independence.

If you can't get your act together by 30 then really, come on.
While I left and never returned home I don't necessarily think it was just good planning - in this day and age I attribute some of it to just dumb luck. More and more people, even in their 40's, married and with children are moving back home. The economic conditions are hitting every age bracket - even senior citizens. For the first time, since it's inception, Social Security Benefits were frozen this year and will be again next year and will not reflect a cost of living increase. Watching my own medications double in price in the last year, I cannot imagine how some people function on fixed incomes like Social Security.

Here is another article and stats on people in their 30's and 40's.....

Middle Aged Boomerangers

This economic downturn is changing the term “boomerangers” to now also include Gen X (adults 30-40′ish), and some Generation Jones (adults 42-54′ish). In the latest issue of Time Magazine (3/2/09), there is an interesting article, Bunking In With Mom And Dad, about the number of middle-aged adult children moving back in with their parents (who are typically 65+), and they are arriving with a spouse and/or a few kids in tow.

One woman with a law degree, was 39 years old, but lost her job and burned through her savings/retirement while looking for a new job. She then lost her home to foreclosure. 600 resumes later, she still hasn’t found a job, so the only choice she (and her husband) had was to move in with her folks.

But, she’s not the only Gen X adult who has needed to seek help from their folks lately. According to the article, an AARP survey found that MORE THAN one-third of retirees have had to help their adult children pay bills this past year. And, the number of multigenerational households has increased from 5 million in 2000 to 6.2 million in 2008.


Middle-Aged "Boomerangers" Moving Home With Parents During Recession | Lisa’s Generation Relations Blog
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Old 10-14-2010, 12:30 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,084,990 times
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I should add, for the sake of clarity, that my brother's employment situation was unstable at the time. It could have gone either way - he could have lost his job or get transfered elsewhere. He had no idea and was faced with signing another year's lease on an apartment he was never in anyway and it would have totally hosed him financially. Since my parents are divorced and my mother had just purchased a new home and was alone, the situation, for about 6 months, worked for both of them. He never went back with the intention of staying there any longer than that. Personally, I don't think I could do it, but some people can and do. I'm just thankfull I never was faced with making a decision like that.
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Old 10-15-2010, 05:00 AM
 
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Just as a side note. I left home at 18 and vowed to never go back...there's no where to go back to at this point anyway. To hold true to that I held three jobs while trying to finish college which I paid for as I went on my own. Unfortunately, today, you're lucky to find one job, let alone 3 to sustain yourself like years past.

There are other options, like a roommate, but that can come with a whole slew of other problems - especially if the roommate doesn't pay thier bills or up and moves out one day and you're stuck with the lease.

10-13 years ago when I bought a house it didn't require much to purchase and get a fixed mortgage, refinancing required no money down. You can kiss that method goodbye - we're back to 10% minumum.

Depending upon where you live in this country the cost of living is astronomical and what buys you a decent home in a nice area for $80,000 would cost well close to $600,000 someplace else. Moving while you are unemployed is not practical, but what is necessary is to look for work outside of where you are currently living.

Social Security Benefits are only around $1600 a month for most people. I personally had to take a precription which cost $500 a month once because the insurance didn't cover it. Medicare for social security recipients did not include prescription drug coverage until 3 years ago (and you know elderly people or those receiving Social Security Disablity typically have a number of prescriptons and Drs visits and other medical bills - medicare does not cover everything). Which would indicate $1600 would cover a mortgage payment, some insurance and one prescription - and nothing else - including food and utilties. How do people do it?

I personally know of people who, upon divorce, had to move back in with their parents temporarily.

Working with a dog rescue, the number of pets surrendered to the organization trippled in one year due to people being foreclosed on and having to move to an apartment that didn't accept pets. It was just staggering. Once they took and exhausted that step, the only option some people are left with is moving in with relatives - especially if you have small children. Barring that the next step is moving again and going on Welfare and Food Stamps. Some people may look at that as a handout - but you paid that money into the system your entire life. It's your own money so to speak. But, sadly, once someone goes into that system, they rarely get out and that isn't what welfare was designed to do.

So, it doesn't matter what age you are there are huge differences in the financial environment of this country than when I was 20 to 30 years old and opportunities like a few jobs or one good one and home ownership were plentiful.

Last edited by Thursday007; 10-15-2010 at 05:16 AM..
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Old 10-15-2010, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 14,602,207 times
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I think in this economy it's happening a lot more than we realize. If you are in a position to save money and your parents will respect your space and mostly that you are a grown adult, then it could be beneficial. Just remember though, no woman wants to come back to Mom and Dad's place for fooling around. If you are currently dating, you may want to take that into consideration.

Also, it's their house. Have you sat down with your parents and discussed what's expected of you? If you're not paying rent, are you expected to help elsewhere like buying groceries, helping pay the extra utilities, etc? I would make sure everyone is on the same page and respect is on both sides before I'd agree to move back home.
I never had that opportunity. My parents have been deceased since I was a teenager so I've always had to rely on me. If they were alive today, I don't know if I'd be willing to move back home unless I really had to.
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Old 10-15-2010, 05:16 PM
 
3,111 posts, read 8,028,801 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
I think in this economy it's happening a lot more than we realize. If you are in a position to save money and your parents will respect your space and mostly that you are a grown adult, then it could be beneficial. Just remember though, no woman wants to come back to Mom and Dad's place for fooling around. If you are currently dating, you may want to take that into consideration.

Also, it's their house. Have you sat down with your parents and discussed what's expected of you? If you're not paying rent, are you expected to help elsewhere like buying groceries, helping pay the extra utilities, etc? I would make sure everyone is on the same page and respect is on both sides before I'd agree to move back home.
I never had that opportunity. My parents have been deceased since I was a teenager so I've always had to rely on me. If they were alive today, I don't know if I'd be willing to move back home unless I really had to.

Haha, I know! I'll tell her the house is mine, and invite her over when my family is gone...like the Sienfeld episode.

Trust me, I don't want to live there, but it is my best option at this point. I am still trying to find a couch to sleep on somewhere, but with no luck.
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Old 10-15-2010, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
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You can try www.totallyfreestuff.com www.craigslist.org free section in your local area.

free stuff - Bing
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Old 10-15-2010, 08:02 PM
 
3,111 posts, read 8,028,801 times
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Originally Posted by Hawk J View Post
You can try www.totallyfreestuff.com www.craigslist.org free section in your local area.

free stuff - Bing

HMmm, ok. For what? I don't need free stuff.
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Old 10-15-2010, 08:11 PM
 
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I think that's for finding that couch you want to bunk on.
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Old 10-15-2010, 08:25 PM
 
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Here are two other circumstances of "people over 30 living with their mother" that don't involve mooching:

-You just got a divorce and your soon-to-be ex-wife took the house and you need a place to stay because you just split THIS MINUTE (that was be my dad, who makes - and made, at the time -good money).

-Your mother is elderly and needs someone to take care of her (that'd be my friend, who makes good money).

It's fun to be stoic, and even better to be the ultimate winner at life (or so you tell the Internet), but everyone's circumstances are different, and there's no better judge of your own situation than YOU.
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