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Miss Katie there certainly are some messed up people on these forums but you're ranking way up there. Reading your threads is like watching a slow motion wreck in progress. I don't even see what benefit you're getting from asking anybody's advice as you come back with the same questions in different formats every time. I think a lot of people here would love to see you hitch up your panties and start treating yourself better. Get into AA, get into counseling, gain some self-respect - do SOMETHING constructive. You're way too young to be staying so messed up. Good luck.
Miss Katie there certainly are some messed up people on these forums but you're ranking way up there. Reading your threads is like watching a slow motion wreck in progress. I don't even see what benefit you're getting from asking anybody's advice as you come back with the same questions in different formats every time. I think a lot of people here would love to see you hitch up your panties and start treating yourself better. Get into AA, get into counseling, gain some self-respect - do SOMETHING constructive. You're way too young to be staying so messed up. Good luck.
Words were on my tongue. Thanks for saving me the time.
This is not a friend to you, or anyone, not even himself. Do not walk, RUN away from this as fast as you can. I tried once to help a junkie: money, hours listening, even a place to stay. He was supposed to be on the methadone program and cleaning up. He certainly was. He cleaned out my bank account, wrecked my car while cruising with another "friend" (when he was supposed to be going to a job interview), and tore up my apartment during one of his "escapes from reality."
Before I finally was successful in getting out of the mess, I'd had to have him removed from my premises four times, and finally ended up moving to another part of town -- leaving no forwarding address.
He went on to destroy himself by burning himself and the hotel room where he was staying, more than a decade later. Others had tried to help him in that time, but he was just a user.
Learn from others. When it comes to drugs, people have to help themselves, first.
I'm just gonna throw this out there and I really don't mean to offend but... you come up with THE most random topics and these drama-related situations and you talk about men kissing you on the mouth, that you like men who drink, that you're not sure what to do on this or that.. I just think your life must be really strange. Someone else said it right about you having self destructive behavior. You really do.
Miss Katie there certainly are some messed up people on these forums but you're ranking way up there. Reading your threads is like watching a slow motion wreck in progress. I don't even see what benefit you're getting from asking anybody's advice as you come back with the same questions in different formats every time. I think a lot of people here would love to see you hitch up your panties and start treating yourself better. Get into AA, get into counseling, gain some self-respect - do SOMETHING constructive. You're way too young to be staying so messed up. Good luck.
I think "Katie" is enjoying the attention she's getting from posting what she posts.
If you've never met up with an active druggie or a drunk before, let me tell you this: Do not ever rationalize that the person is basically good-hearted, or a nice person who just went a little wrong, or fall for any other window-dressing they may present to you because they see you as a potential sucker. They are all exactly the same person in different disguises, and that person cares nothing about you or anyone else or anything except getting high.
While many of you have valid points, I'm going to have to play devil's advocate and disagree with some of it. Things in life aren't black/white, especially this. The majority of the people I know smoke marijuana all the time (might not be considered a hard drug like meth and such but some people see it as being no different).
Many of them would give me the shirt off their back if I needed (and no, I'm not just assuming this, we've all been through our own invididual rough periods in life and we've always been there to help pull each other back onto our feet). One of them got me an IT job at the place where he worked (web designer), let me carpool with him every single day (never expected me to chip in for gas), and looks at online job openings that I might be qualified for (I don't ask him to) even though I'm more keen on finishing my Bachelor's before I look for work.
The guy is content to go to work, be a productive member of society, do stuff with his family and girlfriend, pay rent, taxes, learn, do art, and hang out at home and smoke pot. Of course, using him as an example to generalize all alcoholics/druggies wouldn't be appropriate just as how you generalized all alcoholics/druggies is not either.
Of course, we've all been friends for years (since our teens) so maybe that's the key factor compared to someone who you meet once you're older when everyone is out chasing after money.
I've met many "non-substance abusing" people who are even more shady, self-centered, and selfish who would gladly throw you under the bus with a smile if it meant a big payday of some sort for them.
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Now as for your actual situation. That would depend on you obviously.
At the least, you should draw some clear boundaries and let him know what they are. That he can't be bringing that stuff around you, your home, or your family. You probably shouldn't lend him any money unless he agrees to something (maybe that his family is aware of the fact that you're going to loan him said amount).
There are plenty of cases of people who recover and I'm guessing they had people to support them that don't have the mindsets of the people who have responded to this post so far. If that were the case, they all certainly would have continued their downward spiral after the only people they could turn to for help and support turned their backs on them.
So up to you, I don't see any harm in continuing to be his friend but do be cautious about giving him financial support or compromising your own situation to help him out. There's a difference between being a friend and being an enabler.
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Who let you out of your room?
