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Old 07-13-2007, 10:28 AM
 
159 posts, read 727,086 times
Reputation: 65

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Years ago I met my husband at a restaurant.. he was the cook and I was
the server. When we had our 3rd child (1st was mine from previous marriage)
I quit and he got a better job. We
struggled for years but didn't have any family around to help and wanted to
make sure the kids were always taken care of. Flash forward..now the last
two still at home are teenagers. My husband does have a stressful job but
makes a lot in overtime... I still stay at home because we need someone at
home and I could at most make 75 a shift... he brings home 300 for an extra
shift. He said he'd rather work extra when he comes home... I'm home and
the house is clean. I do plan on going back to work next year and appreciate
all his hard work. But the bottom line is some couples want someone home
with the kids or doing the home chores. As long as both partners are happy
with the arrangement that's the important thing. And to add... my Mom stayed
home for quite a few years when I was a kid. I loved to come home to her instead
of an empty house. That's the same thing my kids have told me too only I'm there
to pick them up!

Last edited by lexi; 07-13-2007 at 11:15 AM..
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Old 07-13-2007, 11:30 AM
 
159 posts, read 727,086 times
Reputation: 65
I do want to add too... every couple is different with different wants and
needs...like the lady who quit her job who has no kids. She and her husband want
a simpler life where they can enjoy themselves more often and can afford
that life on one income... and they are both very happy with that arrangement
or what about people who have no support
system with kids? Seriously, how do YOU do it??? Who takes your
kids or kid to school and picks them up, who watches them during vacations
from school.... who cleans the house, goes to the store etc. Unless you
have your Mom close by to help or lot's of money to pay Nanny's.... or
you have latch key kids I don't see how families do it. Not to mention after
work cooking and helping with the homework. Let me know the secrets...lol
I have the outlook that whatever works for whichever family is the best..
and more power to them as long as everyone is happy.

Last edited by lexi; 07-13-2007 at 12:26 PM..
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:33 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 7,598,320 times
Reputation: 2986
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Hi,

1. I'm starting a new thread cuz I'm curious.... why is it, in today's world, with mortgages and other costly expenses, how can a spouse or companion sit home on their butts while their wives or husbands are working full time, sometimes 2 and 3 other jobs to make ends meet? To me, that is as bad as stealing from your mate....
My brother in law owes $31,000 in child support to his ex ("child" is now married) so "he'd be working for nothing". This works for my sister. Besides, if he wasn't home, the dog might **** on the rug.

I'd hang him by his bag.
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:42 PM
 
1,867 posts, read 3,598,817 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
1. I'm starting a new thread cuz I'm curious.... why is it, in today's world, with mortgages and other costly expenses, how can a spouse or companion sit home on their butts while their wives or husbands are working full time, sometimes 2 and 3 other jobs to make ends meet? To me, that is as bad as stealing from your mate....
The obvious answer is that sometimes couples decide it is BETTER FOR THEIR CHILDREN or CHEAPER to have one person stay home with the kids. People often decide living life in the best interest of the kids is worth more than that extra TV or that big gas guzzlin' SUV or that expensive wardrobe. Some people dont have a choice, but if given the choice you could either stay home with your kids or have all these extra luxuries that you dont need, maybe its better to be with the kids. They're only little once.. That's what my H did (though now he's working part-time while baby goes to nursery school 2 x per week) and we get a lot of flack for it. But we have enough to live on and the baby would be totally burned out if she was in nursery school more than a few days a week. Again, some dont have a choice but why is it wrong when you have the income?
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:54 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,240,196 times
Reputation: 21263
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Hi,


2. While we're on the subject, question 2 would be...how in the world can some people be so lazy and allow their mates to do ALL the work around the house? cooking, cleaning, yard/mowing, laudry, ironing, shopping for groceries....?


What's your take?
Let me tell you about my husband. Don't get me wrong. I love this man with every fiber of my being, but he is A PERFECTIONIST.

Back when we first got married, *I* did all the wifely chores and loved it. I enjoy cooking, washing clothes and dishes, etc., and keeping a nice house. I never asked for help and I never complained about the duties that I was responsible for.

However, my husband is as PERFECTIONIST. Nothing I did was right or good enough. The dishes weren't clean enough, the floor wasn't vacuumed well enough, the clothes weren't washed right, the bathroom sink was not clean enough, etc.., etc., etc., etc. Every time I washed the dishes, he would come along and wash them all again. At first, he would do this late at night so as not to hurt my feelings, but eventually, once he realized I knew he was doing this, he just started washing them again.

Well, it seemed so stupid for me to do everything, only to have him do everything over again, I just told him to do it. Fine. Who cares! If you don't like the way I am doing it, do it yourself. So he does. He does the housework. Not because I am lazy, but because the way I do it does not suit him. Did I mention he was A PERFECTIONIST?????

Of course, the same goes with the work outside. The garden, everything. So, I end up not having much to do. I still cook once in a while, because I am a darn good cook. And I make the bed, because he doesn't like to and when it comes to a neat bed *I* am a perfectionist. LOL

20yrsinBranson
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Old 01-07-2009, 01:09 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,331,463 times
Reputation: 6197
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Hi,

1. I'm starting a new thread cuz I'm curious.... why is it, in today's world, with mortgages and other costly expenses, how can a spouse or companion sit home on their butts while their wives or husbands are working full time, sometimes 2 and 3 other jobs to make ends meet? To me, that is as bad as stealing from your mate....

2. While we're on the subject, question 2 would be...how in the world can some people be so lazy and allow their mates to do ALL the work around the house? cooking, cleaning, yard/mowing, laudry, ironing, shopping for groceries....?

3. Question #3 how can a mate charge all kinds of money with their charge cards, behind the other mates back...I mean thousands of dollars..???? To me and for me, this is dishonest, unfair and selfish thinking on all 3 accounts?


What's your take?
1- We had to do this for a short sting because of disability. Adjusted the budget and the extra job was dropped. We were spending too much anyway. It was an accidental incident that turned into a blessing.
2- I like doing all those thing and would do them anyway. I usually do a better job anyway as I am very picky about how clean and neat things are.
3- If the person can afford it who cares. I mean I buy stuff all the time and don't "run it by" anyone. I don't lie about it...But if it doesn't put you in a messed up situation who cares? No one in this household.
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Old 01-07-2009, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Indiana
591 posts, read 1,256,775 times
Reputation: 424
I feel the opposite. I think staying home being a parent to my children are more important than that new fancy car or top of the line tv..how many people say they both have to work yet they spend their money on things they don't really need. When it comes down to it children would rather have their moms than a bunch of fancy things. I think its important to finish the job of raising your children before u embark on a new job. Now if its a single mom then I think that is a totally different story..then they have to work. But trust me housewives aren't lazy as you may seem to think they are..
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:15 PM
 
3,395 posts, read 3,207,212 times
Reputation: 9262
I have a friend who is a stay-at-home mom. She went to school and got a bachelors degree, then worked toward a Master's, but did not finish. Now she is married and has two kids and wants to have another. From what I have seen, her husband does most of the work. I have talked to her about this and she is an ultra-feminist. It seems like she feels that men have done her and her mother wrong all her life and she is all out for herself now. That's the impression I get anyway.

Could that be it for some of these 'users'. (I'm NOT talking about the majority of SAHM's who work their butts off. Hats off to you ladies - you are doing a job I could never do.) But these people who do the bare minimum at home and expect the working spouse to wait on them hand and foot when they get home. I think they have a entitlement mentality. Maybe life has been really hard for them all of their life and they feel it is owed to them to sit and do nothing. Just a thought.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:49 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,331,463 times
Reputation: 6197
Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryLuvinWoman1 View Post
. But trust me housewives aren't lazy as you may seem to think they are..
I giggled at this...

A futurama episode with Bender talking to God about being a failed god because he was doing to much or too little

"When you do everything right...they wont know you did anything at all"

Tis the plight of housewives and mothers everywhere. LOL
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Old 01-08-2009, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
15,070 posts, read 17,037,646 times
Reputation: 10272
there are too many asso's in this world......simple answer..............
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