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Old 11-27-2010, 12:32 PM
 
12,660 posts, read 8,324,988 times
Reputation: 4742

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The only problem with all this is how things are measured on the burnout scale. There is a reason why gays often die 20 years earlier.In our mythological world of the Flat Earth Society, we love to pretend the only difference is they are just happy couple of the same sex. Men are promiscuous, and now there is no female resistance. Nothing is ever just the same. You have male on male drives. Why do you think gays always look so fresh? Its another axe in the skull those who resist the male concept of acuity in physical attraction. Gays know they need to please men, and their personalities do not go as far as they do with women. I am surprised more women never looked to see how gays try to attract men for a little insight.

So it is what it is, and it does not fit into heterosexual molds. Heterosexuality has its own issues with unwanted pregnancy being one of its main issues. Likewise, homosexuality has its own inherent risks. One of those risks is inherent male drives with no female "oversight." A man might want to have every girl in the sorority house, but the girls will no go for it. Whats to stop the 20 men? There is a huge swath of self destructive culture, and gay porn is likely in that swath.


The first thing I would do is find out if he is contending with one on the main problems of a physiology not designed for casual penetration. Here is where poppers come to the "rescue". Unfortunately poppers destroy the immune system. Immune problems are not just about AIDS don't you know? What's he using to perform on cue?


MIXED MESSAGES Poppers and Gay Identity

It does not rate well on the burn out scale. Morals are typically nothing other than formalizations and traditions that have roots that prevent destructive behavior. No one would flinch at telling a 19 year guy not to get anyone pregnant, but since he is in gay porn, he must know what he is doing. He is your nephew. Talk to him about it.


Had several gay friends. Interesting people. However interesting people can F themselves up.

Last edited by gwynedd1; 11-27-2010 at 01:20 PM..

 
Old 11-27-2010, 12:39 PM
 
390 posts, read 368,539 times
Reputation: 1283
I wish people would stop being so moralistic and judgemental here. Also, it would be nice to stop the amateur psychoanalysis.

The kid may be gay or maybe bi. He might be straight too. It really doesn't matter does it? If he can make good money, he may be using the money for a good reason, such as his education, a house, paying off debts, etc.

People need to stop bringing up the idea he was abused, or needs to go to church, or even that he's disgusting. Maybe his choice is either working at McDonalds for minimum wage or making thousands for a few hours work. As long as it's his body and his choice and he's not hurting anyone, why should anyone else care?

I have 2 concerns though. the 1st would be of course, his health. It's not worth the money if he's exposed to STD's. Hopefully, he's using protection. Also, this may come back and haunt him in the future. Porn almost certainly makes it's way to the internet and these films MIGHT rear up and hurt him sometime. Young people often don't think of future consequences.

On the other hand, doing a hardcore lesbian spread didn't destroy Vanessa William's career. A home porn movie catapulted Paris Hilton to stardom. Even in politics, Scott Brown was still elected senator in Massachussetts despite appearing in a Playgirl nude photo shoot.

He might consider using a fake beard/moustache or other disguise when he's filming. Anything that would make it harder to identify him would be a good idea. Otherwise, he should practice safe sex and make as much money as he can while he can.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 12:52 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,287,802 times
Reputation: 1648
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
To be honest, there are many hetero actors in gay porn that are billed as gay - it's called "gay-for-pay". It's usual in the porn industry to encounter such contradictions within mysteries locked up in paradoxes.

As far as pay scales, male gay-porn actors do make more than male hetero-porn actors. Studios and agents are always on the lookout for young men to work in gay porn, while the hetero productions are much harder to break into unless you already have a stunning female partner (they're ALWAYS looking for beautiful females).

I'm not sure if 20 minutes of work would equal 2 days of work - depends upon the work. You also have to remember there are many extra "non-billable" hours involved in retakes, marketing (attending trade shows, etc), make-up and self-promotion, as well as the necessity of working out constantly. Most actors are paid on a flat-rate scale per movie; only the top stars in the field receive ongoing contracts. To top it off, they don't work a 40-hour week, so comparing them days-to-minutes isn't really realistic.

I think i read they get paid around 400-700 a scene but like women in porn they make most of their money dancing and not in films. While i know people run around saying gay for pay i still think most of them are bi or gay. I have been around a lot of guys and have never heard any of them say they would bone a guy for some cash.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 01:01 PM
Status: "SF Giants own you" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: San Leandro
4,579 posts, read 4,675,095 times
Reputation: 3248
Pretend you never heard anything, don't look him in the eye, and move on.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Copiague, NY
1,499 posts, read 1,367,145 times
Reputation: 2327
Quote:
Originally Posted by new2colo View Post
Quote:
I am pretty close to nephew. I am uncertain how to react. Our family is very conservative and I remember babysitting
my nephew when he was really young. Would you just accept a member of your family being in the gay adult industry?
Would you act like nothing has changed?
I'm so confused with this.

My best advice would be, that you do or say or write absolutely nothing.
It is in our own minds that we define our personal sense of morality,
and we should be able to suppress the need to judge those who are close to us when that judgment might damage an otherwise normal relationship.
Perhaps your cousin has found himself in a situation in which he must utilize whatever assets or resources he may have, to move ahead in this world.
A casual look at the declining market and this strained economy, might in some measure of justification, allow you to accept his decision to earn, while
he can, in a field in which he is qualified, and as I can understand, well paid. It's also an issue of the primal need to survive at any cost, and sometimes,
when the wolf knocks on the door, morality jumps out the back window.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it...
 
Old 11-27-2010, 01:44 PM
 
Location: NEK
1,052 posts, read 1,021,589 times
Reputation: 1357
Why don't you just tell him you love him and wish him the best and if/when he decides this lifestyle is not for him, you will love him anyway. Sure you can tell him you thought and wanted more for him, but you might not be using the same scales. Nothing wrong with letting him know that YOU know what he's doing and that way he could have an ear if he wanted.

Bottom line, people of ALL ages will live and learn. If it doesn't negatively affect your immediate life? Let them learn. You can't save the world BUT you can be there if the person in question doesn't feel judged because at one point we ALL want to able to talk to someone. And from what I read, make it without the alcohol.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 03:11 PM
 
645 posts, read 654,362 times
Reputation: 1128
I feel like a concern for his over well-being and health makes this my business. If any posters on this thread had a close family member who was on drugs, I would hope that you would try to do what you could to let your family member know that they need to change.

Ignoring the problem, dismissing the issue on the grounds that he's an adult, or just being happy that he's making a lot of money are not options here. It's sad to me to think that some of you would let any of your family members continue destructive habits because of their age or the fact that someone's cutting them a nice check.

I have received a lot of positive advice from this thread. I will approach my nephew is a non-judgemental manner, really get his perspective on this choice, share my thoughts, and hope for the best.

All the suspicion over his sexuality, how much money he actually makes, and comparisons between him and Paris Hilton or Scott Brown really are not constructive at all.

Thank you for your help.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 03:14 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,287,802 times
Reputation: 1648
As long as he is being safe and being tested he should be fine. I think comparing this to someone on drugs is a bit over the top. And like i said....how are his habits destructive?
 
Old 11-27-2010, 03:20 PM
 
4,384 posts, read 1,992,486 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by new2colo View Post
I feel like a concern for his over well-being and health makes this my business. If any posters on this thread had a close family member who was on drugs, I would hope that you would try to do what you could to let your family member know that they need to change.

Ignoring the problem, dismissing the issue on the grounds that he's an adult, or just being happy that he's making a lot of money are not options here. It's sad to me to think that some of you would let any of your family members continue destructive habits because of their age or the fact that someone's cutting them a nice check.

I have received a lot of positive advice from this thread. I will approach my nephew is a non-judgemental manner, really get his perspective on this choice, share my thoughts, and hope for the best.

All the suspicion over his sexuality, how much money he actually makes, and comparisons between him and Paris Hilton or Scott Brown really are not constructive at all.

Thank you for your help.
It's not your business, in my own opinion, since you hold no remit or duty to care for him or rectify his mistakes.
 
Old 11-27-2010, 03:27 PM
 
645 posts, read 654,362 times
Reputation: 1128
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
As long as he is being safe and being tested he should be fine. I think comparing this to someone on drugs is a bit over the top. And like i said....how are his habits destructive?
This is doing all sorts of harm to his body and his reputation. Doing these two things apply to drug addicts as well? Wouldn't you call that destructive?

As others have said, he will eventually need to go out and get a regular job. Who's to say that someone who he works with at any point of his career won't recognize him from these movies that he's shooting now?
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