Close family member in the adult industry. How to react? (children, senior)

[SD4020]

Originally Posted by paganmama80

That's the only one i have ever seen actually. Though i imagine for highly sensitive jobs they go further. But the idea that doing this will ruin is job chances for life is ridicoulous i think

For the average job I would concur.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by SD4020

Depends on the job. but yes criminal is fairly common.

Thinking corporate world... As one climbs the ladder or offered a partnership in a firm or board job the past might be an issue. Just like politics. Again it is his decision. And frankly I am guessing its an informed decision.

I doubt a future in politics or a partnership with a major corporation is in this man's future. There are no rags-to-riches, porn-to-politics stories. It's not so much that he ruined his chances ... he probably didn't have much of a chance to begin with.

[dnvrsoul]

Wow! I'm sorry you are dealing with this-I think I would talk to him-I would explain that his choices now will forever be a part of his life-I would also explain that money is not worth the price that poor young man will pay (diseases, drugs,). I would ask him what he wants to do with his life-and explain that his choices now can ruin his future-I would also think about how it makes you feel...personally I would be appauled. And for people that say "oh it's none of your business." Yes it is..he is going down a very sad path and you love him right? Then it is your business-and if it makes no difference-well at least you know you tried...good luck

[SD4020]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

I doubt a future in politics or a partnership with a major corporation is in this man's future. There are no rags-to-riches, porn-to-politics stories. It's not so much that he ruined his chances ... he probably didn't have much of a chance to begin with.

Well there is a first time for everything.

Wasn't there and adult film actress that ran for governor in California a few years back? If so it has been attempted.

[WestCobb]

Originally Posted by paganmama80

You are forgetting that you are working in the military and dealing with people handling sensitive information so the rules are a bit different. But you try pulling that in the coporate world without someone permission and see how fast the lawsuits start popping up. My father is a lawyer and i can justify without a fact that this would not only be a lawsuit but would make the evening news for invasion of privcy issues. And no he isn't damaging his reputation because most places don't start googling people to establish they are credible.

Pagan, ? I am truly dumbfounded by your response to this. I feel like I'm arguing with a post at this point. You're clearly not going to concede to logic. I will point out just a couple of things. Just about any job worth having is going to do an extensive background search on potentional employees. People who want the job must give consent to the search. That would clear up any legal issues that might arise from googling someone's name. (I still think it's absolutely ridiculous that you seem to think a person is protected from having someone else do an open source search of their name.) Having a background in gay porn isn't a felony, of course, but use your common sense. You really don't think this is going to prejudice many? Hmmm... I've got two applicants here with roughly equivalent qualifications .. who should I go with? The guy with a background in gay porn or the guy who interned with IBM during college? Decisions, decisions.

This guy's choice to work in the sex industry now is almost definitely going to have unwanted consequences later. He's 19. Someone, a relative perhaps, should point this out to him.

Once again, I think it's very daft of you to think that someone can appear in a public production (consensually) and then somehow is protected from anyone finding out. And, oh, of course no one can search public open sources for information. ???

[WestCobb]

Originally Posted by paganmama80

But the idea that doing this will ruin is job chances for life is ridicoulous i think

I'm not saying he will never hold a job. I am saying this will limit his options. Unlike you, I'm not convinced this guy is gay either. He may be, but he may not. My imagination is big enough to hold within it a person who is straight yet hungry enough for cash to work in the gay sex industry. (It does happen.) If this is the case, this is going to severely limit his dating options too. How many women do you know who would date a gay who did gay porn? Oh I suppose none of them would snoop around for information about a guy they are considering dating on the internet of course. They wouldn't want to get sued.

[paganmama80]

Originally Posted by WestCobb

Pagan, ? I am truly dumbfounded by your response to this. I feel like I'm arguing with a post at this point. You're clearly not going to concede to logic. I will point out just a couple of things. Just about any job worth having is going to do an extensive background search on potentional employees. People who want the job must give consent to the search. That would clear up any legal issues that might arise from googling someone's name. (I still think it's absolutely ridiculous that you seem to think a person is protected from having someone else do an open source search of their name.) Having a background in gay porn isn't a felony, of course, but use your common sense. You really don't think this is going to prejudice many? Hmmm... I've got two applicants here with roughly equivalent qualifications .. who should I go with? The guy with a background in gay porn or the guy who interned with IBM during college? Decisions, decisions.

This guy's choice to work in the sex industry now is almost definitely going to have unwanted consequences later. He's 19. Someone, a relative perhaps, should point this out to him.

Once again, I think it's very daft of you to think that someone can appear in a public production (consensually) and then somehow is protected from anyone finding out. And, oh, of course no one can search public open sources for information. ???

Most jobs do criminal background checks and not general google searches so i am dumbfounded where you are getting that idea that jobs do these deep background checks on people. My brother has had several corporate finance jobs and they only did criminal background checks, i have had corporate jobs and even worked for the state rnc at one time and only criminal background checks. And of course if they consent to the search there is nothing you can do to it. But majority of jobs don't ask you to do a total check on your background either.

[paganmama80]

Originally Posted by WestCobb

I'm not saying he will never hold a job. I am saying this will limit his options. Unlike you, I'm not convinced this guy is gay either. He may be, but he may not. My imagination is big enough to hold within it a person who is straight yet hungry enough for cash to work in the gay sex industry. (It does happen.) If this is the case, this is going to severely limit his dating options too. How many women do you know who would date a gay who did gay porn? Oh I suppose none of them would snoop around for information about a guy they are considering dating on the internet of course. They wouldn't want to get sued.

If he had a drug problems then i might concede it's a possibility but all things being equal no he is gay most likely or bi. Given the family denial i think that he is but won't admit it. And yes his options will be limited somewhat. But lets be honest the jobs most people have aren't hampered by this kind of stuff.

[WestCobb]

Originally Posted by dnvrsoul

explain that his choices now can ruin his future

Oh don't worry. This won't ruin his future at all. This is America, where apparently people have the right to appear in public productions yet somehow invoke a right to privacy to protect them from the consequences of their public actions. Isn't that cool? They also have the right to sue others for searching for information about them in public sources. Awesome, right? I've learned all kinds of cool things from this thread.

[paganmama80]

Originally Posted by WestCobb

Oh don't worry. This won't ruin his future at all. This is America, where apparently people have the right to appear in public productions yet somehow invoke a right to privacy to protect them from the consequences of their public actions. Isn't that cool? They also have the right to sue others for searching for information about them in public sources. Awesome, right? I've learned all kinds of cool things from this thread.

Don't forget you have the right to drink boiling hot coffee but sue if you spill it on yourself as well .