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Old 07-13-2007, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,565 posts, read 7,669,172 times
Reputation: 5960

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisteria View Post
Hoosier, are you just taking a survey to see what the general populace thinks? It seems, though, from what I've seen on this board, that many people here are pretty well-educated, seemingly more tolerant, and well-versed in many things, so maybe this isn't the best place to query. What do you think about these answers that seem so similar so far?
Yeah, I am doing personal research here. And actually I believe this is the perfect place to put this question out there. I think it could be asked anywhere, but I believe here I would get more honest and open answers due to the anonymity the Internet offers.

One of the reasons I chose to create this topic and set it in this forum is because I've heard the religious side of the argument enough. I know the answers...I wanted to get other CD non-Religion forum members POV.

And to answer my own question, I too would have a very difficult time if either of my kids told me they were gay. Having been there I know what they'd be in for, both emotionally and sexually. I'd fear for my son as I know men have numerous sexual partners. Yes, there are monogomous relationships, but it's too exciting to not try out anything you want.

As for my daughter I've lived with lesbians and have had many friends who were lesbians. I've seen such a hardness in so many of these women. There are amazing walls that they put up...and understandably so. I've unfortunately seen a lot of abuse in lesbian relationships. Yes I do know that happens probably moreso in hetero relationships...but I've seen it in more lesbian relationships than gay male relationships.

And because I've been there I would probably feel responsible for this happening to them. Would I love them? Oh yeah, I'll always love and accept my kids into our home. They are part of me and their mother...how could I ever turn my face away from my kids? They are so precious to me, and always will be.
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Old 07-13-2007, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,906 posts, read 6,054,751 times
Reputation: 2600
Hi Hoosier! Thanks for the info.

Maybe some of it depends on the area one is in. Obviously, dysfunctional relationships happen ... it doesn't matter if the couple is straight or gay. But I just wonder if maybe the area that one lives in might contribute??

In my town, Santa Cruz, it is so open and so accepting, and the gay people are "out" here, that maybe it reduces stress somehow....do you think that could be?

I, personally, know many gay couples who have very good and long-term, happy relationships!! Quite a few, actually. I'm just wondering if a city like ours where it is an accepted part of our social fabric, if it makes it easier to be a gay couple, reduces internal stress, and contributes to a better relationship because they can live like anyone else in a straight relationship?

There are always messed up relationships, and that is reality. But there are good ones, too. I've seen both kinds in all forms of relationships -- I think it is more a personal issue than a sexual orientation issue. I don't know, really, I'm just guessing.

So, far, though, I am pleased to see such nice responses to this question. It just goes to show how much we love our kids!!
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Old 07-13-2007, 11:34 AM
MsV
 
2,604 posts, read 981,481 times
Reputation: 854
__________________
I must exercise compassion, help the fallen to their feet, be a friend to the friendless, make an empty life complete


Rance, I'm surprised you are so belligerent against the idea of homosexuality and still have this mantra (above) on your posts ... just my observation, but I expected more from someone who believed in this philosophy...
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Old 07-13-2007, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Southern Minnesota
407 posts, read 1,036,536 times
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Hoosier, just because your gay, does not mean that you sleep around have multiple sex partners (or even have sex), and are non-religious. I practice abstanance, yet am gay at the same time. I consider myself religious and talk to God evey night, and there are alot of gay people that have alot of faith in God.
As I always say, being gay is who you are, not who you do.


-Mod cut-

Last edited by Hoosier; 07-13-2007 at 12:16 PM.. Reason: personal attack
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Old 07-13-2007, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Warwick, NY
1,172 posts, read 5,373,573 times
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No problem whatsoever. In fact, I'd welcome it. Gay kids these days have difficulties, but nothing like when I was younger and living in New York, you can't help but be exposed to gays. My father's brother was gay and I didn't find out until I was in my 20s when my mother mentioned it. I knew he was estranged from the family but didn't know why. My mom couldn't care less but my dad had issues with that and other things.

I think the best way to help a gay kid is to create a safe environment, even if that means moving the family to a gay-friendly area. I think the safety of a family member means other members have to sacrifice a little if it's necessary to create that safety. Other important things are to emphasize safe sex and to be supportive of your child when he or she is confronted with bigotry.

In that sense, I think having a gay son is easier than having a gay girl as society seems to be more accepting of gay men than gay women. Gay men also have advantages in certain businesses that gay women may not.

I know many people become sad because their gay child will face so many hardships in life, but then so do many other people for other reasons. These days there's no reason your gay child can't marry or have kids plus gay households generally enjoy high incomes. There's a great senior gay couple who live down the street from me. They bought my aunt's house after she passed away and restored it from top to bottom back to its early 1800s grandeur. They've been together nearly 50 years, are active in the historical society, and contribute generously to community charities.

To me it makes no difference though if I found out any of my kids were gay, I'd make much more of an effort to stay here in the New York area.
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Old 07-13-2007, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,594 posts, read 34,085,305 times
Reputation: 14628
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsV View Post
__________________
I must exercise compassion, help the fallen to their feet, be a friend to the friendless, make an empty life complete


Rance, I'm surprised you are so belligerent against the idea of homosexuality and still have this mantra (above) on your posts ... just my observation, but I expected more from someone who believed in this philosophy...
As I mentioned I don't know any gay people. Don't know anything about it. Don't understand it period. But you don't see me running around bashing anyone about it. To each their own. I tend not to stick my nose in anyone else's business and have yet to get it broken! I also don't think I was belligerant in my comment. I simply answered the question. I "would" freak out if my kids told me that. I'm not gonna lie or paint some pretty picture. Just giving an honest answer as I think the thread creator wanted. And if you think because of my feelings... I need to delete my mantra...I'll do that for ya. Cool?
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Old 07-13-2007, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Lake Country, Wisconsin
396 posts, read 1,462,263 times
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I would be okay with it, but I would be a bit sad that they would not have the life I imagined for them. I have lots of gay friends thou with kids and they are happy.
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Old 07-13-2007, 09:51 PM
MsV
 
2,604 posts, read 981,481 times
Reputation: 854
I "would" freak out if my kids told me that.
And if you think because of my feelings... I need to delete my mantra...I'll do that for ya. Cool?

I'm sorry you were so offended Lance, it was not my intent...just an observation, not a judgment.
I meant what I said, about your feelings not matching your mantra.
You sound like a good guy and I was surprised you gave up your mantra, rather than try to live up to it.
Your choice, Bless You ~
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Old 07-13-2007, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,594 posts, read 34,085,305 times
Reputation: 14628
Default MsV...you never even answered the question?

Why would you take the time to give me some flack...yet you never even answered the main question. And if you read through the thread...I'm not the only one to feel this way. I do live up to that phrase. If you knew me personally you would know I live my life word for word to that phrase. I have zero exposure to gays and their life style where I live...so I reckon my so called mantra does not pertain to them. If there were any gay types in my rural community...it may very well do so. I'm not offended, but feel I've offended you. I normally don't get involved with the gay threads for this very reason. Although I've never made rash statements disrespecting gays...it never fails...when someone asks for an honest answer...and I give it...I just get hammered with critisizm from others because of my answer. I truly wonder if all who replied here are giving honest answers...or just replying in order to please the others. Sorry if I've offended anyone or hurt feelings. I just gave an honest answer to a very good question. Be assured...I won't make the mistake of entering another thread pertaining to gays. Not much of a research if you don't get both sides of the story tho. Sorry Hoosier, I had no intention of getting off topic etc. I'm cool...

Last edited by Rance; 07-13-2007 at 10:41 PM..
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Old 07-14-2007, 12:53 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,179 posts, read 14,752,348 times
Reputation: 7918
Rance, I really appreciate your honesty. Your response may not be politically correct, but so what? Your feelings are valid, no matter what anyone else may say. It would be a huge shock for someone who has no experience with gays or lesbians to suddenly find out that their child was gay. There's no getting around that fact. Thank you for being willing to share that with all of us, and risk people's wrath.
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