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Old 12-29-2010, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,915 posts, read 18,598,564 times
Reputation: 5524

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I agree with the idea behind the title of this thread. I have seen many of the old fashioned types in the work place who tended to treat the new unexperienced employees like crap until they had somehow proved themselves worthy. I think that's an ignorant attitude that is detrimental to the workings of any business. I worked in the engineering department of the telephone company beginning in the late 70's at about the time that women were getting into occupations that traditionally had been held by men. The attitudes that some of the old timers had towards female engineers, or even women working in the blue collar union jobs were often openly hostile and they were looked down upon as being inferior which was based on ignorance. I've always hated people like that and I'm glad to see that this attitude is not very common these days.
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Old 12-29-2010, 01:39 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
44,317 posts, read 19,985,665 times
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I agree with the basic premise of OP's diatribe. I respect everyone I meet, regardless of their social status or their position in the workplace or elsewhere, unless and until they give me reason not to respect them.
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Old 06-15-2014, 10:32 AM
 
1 posts, read 864 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
The problem with people who think in a tit-for-tat, eye for an eye way is...

someone has to kick off the 'ping pong match' of respect. They have to 'serve' first. It's so easy for people to tick each other off. It escalates until they've forgotten what started the argument.

That's why I believe Jesus and some other religious leaders were right when they said, 'treat others how you would like to be treated.'

A common man will treat a stranger how that stranger treats him. A saint will rise above the slings and arrows by drawing on inner strength. It's not a martyr attitude where you secretly hate the person but pretend to be 'good' or 'better' than him to stoke your ego. It's giving him the benefit of the doubt even if he spits in your face. That's the way to win the battle of the soul.

If you start respecting people, treating them as IF they were saints, you'd be amazed where you get. You actually begin to change people from the inside out. If you start out suspicious, judgemental, and believing everyone is essentially wicked, you live a self-fulfilling prophecy.

By this I do not mean being a pushover or condoning their bad behaviour. I see no reason to be rude, disrespectful or otherwise nasty unless you are trying to win. If someone treats you rudely it should not be an excuse to be rude back to him/stoop down to his level or even disrespect him. You can win any argument by being polite and respectful.
I agree with you all the way. Young people today think quite differently. Even some narrow minded arrogant older folks. I liked what you said very much. Take the high road. It shows self-respect.
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Old 06-15-2014, 12:20 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,977,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
When the people who matter see you treat disrespectful people with courtesy, they are more likely to be courteous to you. But if they see you being disrespectful towards ANYONE, they don't care about your history with the disrespectful person. You look like a jerk, and they'll be more likely to treat you like one.
Good point.

I am in the 'respect until you lose it' camp. And this is actually relevant to dating . It's one of the first things I look for, and listen for, when getting to know someone new. I am not compatible with someone who does not respect strangers, homeless people, government workers, etc., until they have a reason not to.
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Old 06-15-2014, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,874 posts, read 7,852,754 times
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Unfortunately there are plenty of people in the world who feel they deserve respect because of their position, and think that respect means they can always get their way. And if you don't make sure they get their way, you are disrespectful and therefore in danger of their wrath.

You are preaching to the choir.
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Old 06-15-2014, 07:42 PM
 
1,485 posts, read 950,958 times
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Heres my view: I respect you if I do not try to bash your skull or otherwise try to kill you. Anything more than that you have to earn.

But I am courteous to everyone. I'm very polite with everyone I meet. Unless they turn out to be a$$hats. Then I call them out on their behavior.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:48 AM
 
3,636 posts, read 3,416,937 times
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I do not see it as a zero sum game from either directions. That you start at ZERO (dis)respect and have to earn either.

Rather I afford all people a minumum level of human respect merely based on our shared existence as free human beings.

Any respect _after_ that point however has to be earned.
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