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Old 01-10-2011, 09:53 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,641,437 times
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I'm reaching a point with one of my friends where I'm ready to call it quits. I feel like this person is selfish, needy, and toxic. But I worry that I'll live to regret that decision. So I'd like to hear from people who've ended a friendship and perhaps regretted doing so. Or maybe you just the opposite. Maybe you look back on it and you're more sure than ever that you did the right thing.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:07 AM
 
Location: GA
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I let "friendships" go. Every now and then I think about the person but the price was too high. I like NOT being miserable and I did the right thing. When I make cuts its because repeatedly you purposely offend me and you have not shown you cared about me by changing your behavior. Write down the pro's and cons.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:07 AM
 
5,385 posts, read 6,523,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
I'm reaching a point with one of my friends where I'm ready to call it quits. I feel like this person is selfish, needy, and toxic. But I worry that I'll live to regret that decision. So I'd like to hear from people who've ended a friendship and perhaps regretted doing so. Or maybe you just the opposite. Maybe you look back on it and you're more sure than ever that you did the right thing.
Have actually felt both ways -- in some cases, about the exact same person, at different times. In fact, this happened with two former very close female friends of mine, for the very reasons you had described ("selfish, needy, and toxic").

The truth is, I still miss them a lot, but at the same time, I don't miss, the "toxicity", at all either. That's why I say, "both ways".

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 01-10-2011 at 10:18 AM..
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:08 AM
 
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I've only ever regretted not ending friendships quickly enough. Nowadays, I don't hesitate. Who wants a selfish, needy, toxic friend anyway?
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:09 AM
 
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I've ended 3 friendships over the years because of the type of behavior you describe. I do not regret any.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:12 AM
 
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I have two situations that i have been through...

I know two of my friends since i was 18 we went through a lot together and one of them flipped on me and accused me of doing something that is not me. I tried to talk to her as an adult about things and she wasnt having it so i stopped talking to her . I think it was the best thing for me cause the stress of our friendship was not worth it .

the second person , i am in the midst of being there. I care for her dearly but i feel like we are two different places right now and i dont need the drama nor the awkardness. I am trying to let it go and keep the lines of communication open but its not easy cause we were super close.

I think it depends on what u had with this person and if its just a phase they are going through or are they really that type of person.

good luck on what you decide. Remember when one door closes the other one opens.

I also agree with Hategirl007, you should write down the pros and cons of your friendship
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:25 AM
 
Location: In my ponytail dreams
727 posts, read 425,395 times
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Yes. We get back to friends after few years. It took time to clear things up but we are friends again. She is longest frienship I ever had. We have been friends since kids, except this "broke up" we had.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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never regretted it! I don't need people in my life who treat me like sh*t . I think I'm better than that.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:50 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,641,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcruz12 View Post
I think it depends on what u had with this person and if its just a phase they are going through or are they really that type of person.
I've known this person long enough to know that it isn't just a phase. I excused it in the past because she was going through a difficult period in her life. But that's no longer the case. I think I'm just realizing that this is who she really is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcruz12 View Post
I also agree with Hategirl007, you should write down the pros and cons of your friendship
I keep asking what the pros and cons are to keeping this friendship and what the pros and cons are to ending it. When I do that, it becomes clear that I'm better off without this person in my life. I'd miss them, but I won't miss the toxicity. But if you end it and regret that decision, it's hard to go back and repair things.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:57 AM
 
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I don't know much about the friendships you'd want to end, but I second other advice already given. I'll also tell you what I've done; ended friendships only as a last resort. Depending on how toxic this person (or persons) is/are, maybe try limiting your time with them and only do things with them where you're going to be too busy for this person to be toxic/rude. Such as getting together in big groups, doing physical activities you both like if possible, or only doing things you like to do together once in awhile. Other than that, if it continues and bothers you, life's too short to put up with a lot of nonsense. Hope this helps.
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