choosing between new family and prior child (member, children, present)

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by tom1969

So I'm torn between losing my wife and new born, or losing my current daughter. I can't seem to think of a solution.

Wow. Really? How about - LOSE THE CAT??????

And I really have to question your term - "prior" daughter?? PRIOR?

Seriously. This new wife of yours is a selfish inconsiderate pig to choose a pet over you and your daughter's health. I think you've screwed up big-time here, and it's only going to get worse for you.

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by tom1969

No, the wife won't get rid of the cat. Not an option.

Then she is the most selfish, idiotic woman on the planet!! And you my friend, are the male counterpart!!!!

I agree with Sierra and the others who find it outrageous that you guys wouldn't get rid of the cat.

She is asking you to pick her pet over your daughter. Who does that?!
That's just down right shameful, and crazy!!! Both of you should have your heads examined!!!

[donie1]

Originally Posted by tom1969

No, the wife won't get rid of the cat. Not an option.

What a shame! I love my pets and I love animals but no way would a cat replace my child. Shame on you for allowing this! I know the ending to this story. You will give up your child for this woman and you'll cowl down to her for the rest of your life.

[punky86]

Originally Posted by tom1969

No, removing the cat when my daughter's there is also not an option. My options are basically see my daughter a couple hours every two weeks, or get divorced (again). I never saw this coming. I thought I knew my wife since we were so close for years and years and years.

Sounds like a warning of things to come to me. If shes not willing to compromise over a cat (especially when she has a new husband and baby) this situation will only spiral into other events on which she wont budge. How terrible for you, shes incredibly selfish. Id say get the divorce. This is a slippery slippery slope.

[donie1]

Originally Posted by tom1969

I'd love to get rid of the cat. But honestly, if it's me or the cat, then the cat will win. We discussed this prior to the marriage - because my daughter had a sneezing attack. That's why we got her the inhalor from the Dr. In case the allergy triggered asthmatic reations. Again, they've been minor. At any rate, when we disscussed it before marriage we said that we'd work it out if worst came to worst. However, now it's not much of a discussion.

Then that's your fault for marrying this woman. You knew what was coming. And she will pick the CAT OVER YOU, pathetic.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by tom1969

No, removing the cat when my daughter's there is also not an option. My options are basically see my daughter a couple hours every two weeks, or get divorced (again). I never saw this coming. I thought I knew my wife since we were so close for years and years and years.

Seriously? The cat can't go live at the neighbors for 3-4 days a month?

You and your current wife could probably benefit from some couples counseling. I question your statement that your current wife and daughter get along without issue. It seems like any step mother who truly loved her step daughter would not be so adamant about a cat.

[gvillesux]

i'm sorry but your new wife AND your ex are being petty. if your daughter is truly that allergic to cats then even if you met her elsewhere she would have a reaction just from the animal dander/hairs on your clothes. tell the ex to take you to court if she wants, a judge is not going to take away visitation over something like this.

if she withholds visitation, call the cops and show them the court ordered schedule. should she still not allow you to take your daughter, contact the courts. SHE would be the one in violation of a court order then.

[CaliTerp07]

Also...what happens if/when the new baby is allergic to the cat?

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by tom1969

But honestly, if it's me or the cat, then the cat will win.

It figures. Satan help you now that you're stuck even with another child!

Well, in this case she should at least shut up when you spend more time outside the house on the weekends your daughter visits, even though I personally think not being able to have your child in your home is beyond ridiculous.

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by gvillesux

if your daughter is truly that allergic to cats then even if you met her elsewhere she would have a reaction just from the animal dander/hairs on your clothes.

That's not true. I'm horribly allergic to cats. I walk into a house with a cat and within 5 minutes my eyes will be swollen shut. I have many friends and coworkers with cats though and we hang out without issue. It's not like they're covered in fur when they leave the house or that the cats sleep on the piles of clean laundry.

I live in a house where the previous tenants had 3 cats. Before we moved in, we hired a cleaning service to deep clean everything. I've lived here for a year now and never had a reaction.