Childless Couples - Ever Feel Talked "Down to" by Parents? (brother, jealous)

[moddestmike]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I truly don't understand why anybody would care about other people's choices that don't affect them... I AM annoyed by a brood of kids I and the rest of us taxpayers have to raise because their irresponsible parents can't afford them, but other than that I don't give it a second thought.

Completely agree!!!

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I AM annoyed by a brood of kids I and the rest of us taxpayers have to raise because their irresponsible parents can't afford them, but other than that I don't give it a second thought.

I guess, in this context, I'm not annoyed by the kids...just saddened by the irresponsibility of the parents. Not the kids' fault.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by Austinitegirl

So I figured I'd start this thread here rather than in the parenting section because it is sort of the opposite of what those folks are chatting about, and more likely to get some hits in this section.

Husband and I are a childless couple by choice, so my question to other childless couples out there - ever feel like you're being talked "down to" by parents? Like they know some secret to life, and you can't possibly understand?

Or that your life/time commitments are somehow less important because you aren't responsible for a child?

I just sometimes feel like there is a bit of a void between parents and childless couples - like we sometimes have difficulty relating to one another.

Thoughts?

There is. Until you have kids, you can't understand. When you're pregnant, people tell you having kids will change your life and they tell you that no one can expain it. They're right.

The feeling that life/time commitments are less important when one is not a parent comes from remembering what life was like before we were parents. When my children are sick they have to go to the doctor. They cannot be told to wait until tomorrow. When I'm sick, I can wait. I can show up to work anyway and get the job done but not when my kids are sick.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

I truly don't understand why anybody would care about other people's choices that don't affect them... I AM annoyed by a brood of kids I and the rest of us taxpayers have to raise because their irresponsible parents can't afford them, but other than that I don't give it a second thought.

People should have to get a license to breed.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

I guess, in this context, I'm not annoyed by the kids...just saddened by the irresponsibility of the parents. Not the kids' fault.

You're correct. I didn't word it right. It's not the kids' fault.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

I've seen it both ways - parents who condescend to the childfree, and childfree who are really sh*tty to those who have kids/hope to have kids. Do a quick search for any "childfree" thread already on these forums - and there are many - and you'll see what I mean pretty quickly. Evidently, people can't be confident and happy in their own choices. They have to validate them by knocking others who choose differently.

That seems to happen with just about any choice. Apparently, we're very insecure in our ability to make our own choices.

[TabulaRasa]

Or, our choices are only valid if they're popular, hence the always trying to win people over to one's point of view.

[crisan]

Originally Posted by WFW&P

Yeah, that doesn't count. Every couple was once childless. Childless couples stay childless.
As for the OP my parents have always respected our choice though I can't say the same for other breeders. Even friends would be somewhat negative of our choice but you must understand those who choose to have kids are the ones following the status quo, not you. It's difficult for them to wrap their DNA drained (for you 2rugged where ever you are) brains around it.

Hmmm, the OP has a concern about being talked "down to" by parents. It sounds like you are talking down to me and to couples with children. Oh well, I wont be starting a thread about how "childless" people talk down to parents.

[Ulysses61]

My husband and I are childless by choice and damn happy about it. Neither of us ever spent one milesecond wanting children. When either side of parents ever dared mention, "Why don't you have children?" I would answer, "Because we can't stand children and pity those who have them."

They never asked a second time, believe me.

The selfish ones are those who don't like kids but have them anyway to fulfill societal expectations or to "fit in."

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Or, our choices are only valid if they're popular, hence the always trying to win people over to one's point of view.

That must have something to do with the high-school mentality (which is very foreign to me) here many seem to retain for life.