U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-27-2007, 09:03 AM
 
26,313 posts, read 24,409,203 times
Reputation: 15995

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
It seems like I run into alot of people who want to be my friend but I have no interest in. I can tell you exactly what I do not like about them and wish society would allow me to be completely honest with people. I always wimp out and do the passive aggressive thing and tell them I am busy or do not return their phone calls. When they do get a hold of me or force contact I am caught flat footed and do not handle the situation very well.

If the people are mean or just plain unlikeable, it is easy. But if they are just boring or hard to talk to because we have nothing in common, it is alot harder.

How many of you are completely honest and tell people you do not care for (or have nothing in common with/no chemistry, ) exactly why you do not want to be friends?

I would if they'd ask, but otherwise, I think I'd just try to distance myself...there are not to many people I don't like, as everyone has good points and bad points about them...

annoying, embarrasing people...I simply stay away from...totally and if they'd ask, I just say, we have nothing in common and I'd prefer distance and freedom from the friendship...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-27-2007, 11:02 AM
 
4,270 posts, read 13,946,702 times
Reputation: 3350
There are friends and then there are friends. You're always going to have "levels" of friendships with people - acquaintances, good friends and close friends. Just think of this friend as an acquaintance. What's the point of telling that person "Hey, I don't like you, I don't want to be friends?"

Just keep your distance but telling someone why you don't like them is just pointless, IMO. I mean, you don't know how you might offend somebody or who you have actually offended. No judgment here but I just keep wondering about this situation and what I would do!

Eventually this person should get the hang of it though that you're not interested in being too good of friends. If not and it really does continue to bother you, then I guess a gentle talk might be in order. Until it gets to that level though, go with the flow.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2007, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,543,124 times
Reputation: 2951
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
It seems like I run into alot of people who want to be my friend but I have no interest in. I can tell you exactly what I do not like about them and wish society would allow me to be completely honest with people. I always wimp out and do the passive aggressive thing and tell them I am busy or do not return their phone calls. When they do get a hold of me or force contact I am caught flat footed and do not handle the situation very well.

If the people are mean or just plain unlikeable, it is easy. But if they are just boring or hard to talk to because we have nothing in common, it is alot harder.

How many of you are completely honest and tell people you do not care for (or have nothing in common with/no chemistry, ) exactly why you do not want to be friends?
I'm assuming that what gets frustrating is the fact that you would like contact, its just that you wish these people had something viable to offer...lol
Some redeeming qualities.
I've developed a way of talking to these people in an offensive manor, by comparing them to others that share the same bad qualities. Even stupid people have the ability to relate which makes it so much easier. They leave with that "cow stare", but at least they leave.
It never ceases to amaze me how humans can have such a vast differance in the cut of age of development, both mentally and emotionally.
The truth is you should'nt feel like a "shallow hal" for your inability to bond with people that don't share your interests.
When John Ritter asked what Billy Bob Thornton was thinking, it really came as no surprise that he responded....I was just thinking that I'd like some more of these here frenchfries...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2007, 07:02 PM
 
Location: NJ/SC
4,286 posts, read 13,366,954 times
Reputation: 2591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
Wait, I'm confused. Wasn't it Dingler who was complaining a while back about not having any friends or it was hard for him to make friends? Now he wants to push people away who actually want to be friends with him???
==================================
Your right, I do have a hard time making good friends but I do have a few. In the process of trying to make new friends, I come in contact with people I do not share any chemistry with-- who want to be my friend but I do not share anything in common with them. I struggle telling them I do not want anything to do with them.
Just curious, why do so many people (do you think) want to be your friend?

To answer the question, I'm a very up front, honest person but I wouldn't want to hurt someones feelings. I will usually give everyone a chance if they want to be friends. Either we hit it off or we don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:40 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top