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Old 06-30-2011, 04:46 PM
 
2,179 posts, read 2,669,417 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousMoi View Post
I tried google, it dosen't talk back and offer advice on the complexity of the situation. A counselor also costs money I don't have. I'm a young person in college living pay check to pay check, I don't have $100 to blow on a chat session.



It was a slightly younger family member, close blood ties.

What had me all tied up in knots about the whole thing was that she cheated on her long time boyfriend who was amazing towards her with his family member.
That what made this all complicated.
Your friend is a victim of abuse. Even if it's just the abuse of extreme neglect. All that hurt turns into anger and resentment and if it doesn't come out in some way it will eat her up. It's no coincidence that most abusers were also abused, and this is sexually, violently, and emotionally. As I write this I'm picturing the abused character Dave in Mystic River. I was in no way directly abused as a kid, but I had such an eventual childhood, divorces, multiple marriages, stuck in the middle of hateful, emotionally violent marriage that though I didn't realize it till I was well into my '20's, I had a lot of things to work on; namely that I didn't repeat the same things to my women and later to my children.. it took me a while for both. I blew a couple marriages, was not nearly as good a father to my first kid as I am to my second.. point is, I think your friend has plenty of work to do on herself. If she's sleeping with a younger relative, with close blood ties, it makes me wonder if she was sexually abused. You may not know the answer to this, and in any event, you may not want to say which is probably wise.. in my opinion, you probably stuck it out with her too long..
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Old 06-30-2011, 08:28 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,487 posts, read 5,758,161 times
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She is crazy. She will probably self-destruct anyways, consider her a lost cause. Or keep feeling sorry for her and get wiped out as well. Lots of people grow up in adversity and do not end up becoming manipulative and abusive like she is.

I wouldn't apologize - if she didn't sleep w/ your family member and act all crazy you would not be put into a situation where you would feel stressed out and have to talk to other people about her bad behavior.

Last edited by miyu; 06-30-2011 at 08:36 PM..
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Old 06-30-2011, 08:53 PM
 
55 posts, read 81,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
I wouldn't apologize - if she didn't sleep w/ your family member and act all crazy you would not be put into a situation where you would feel stressed out and have to talk to other people about her bad behavior.
She did not sleep with my family member, she slept with one of her own.
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