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Old 06-30-2011, 03:28 PM
 
55 posts, read 50,333 times
Reputation: 58

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So I'm looking for advice, what should I do? Right now my heart is torn between relief and guilt.

I had a bestfriend from highschool. We were almost inseperable for 2 years, like sisters. After a while I discovered her jealousy. She was upset because I "had money." I was raised by a single mother who made 25k a year... money was definitley scarce but to her we had money and a better life style because her mother was raising 3 kids on 12k a year and state help.

She was a problem child - bipolar and sent to foster homes for a few years (which is how I met her, she was in a foster home in my town and going to the highschool I was going to, even though her family is from 2 hours away) she had assaulted her brothers before, and had several suicide attempts.

Over the time we knew eachother she exhibited bad manners towards myself and my mother. She lives about 2 hours from me, and on 2 occasions she stayed at my house she demanded she be taken home at 2 - 3 am in the morning because she got mad at something. Once was on my 18th birthday and another was an inconciquencial summer date.

My mother helped her get an apartment through a family friend and she trashed the apartment and had illegal activities going on in the apartment.

About 2 years ago she slept with a close family member, and told me. I was young and didn't know how to process what she'd told me. It was disgusting to me and so I spoke to 2 people I trusted. My mother and fiance. A year later after finding out, we took a trip together. I paid for everything as I knew she didn't have money (hotel, gas, food etc...) On the trip we got to talking about her incident and she found out I'd told my mother and fiance. She was utterly pissed. She locked herself in our hotel room and made a longdistance phone call to her boyfriend which I had to pay for (her call actually put me under on my bank account and I had to borrow money to cover the cost of the call, which she told me she was not going to pay) after our trip I dropped her off at home.

When I got home she had whiped all my email accounts, social sites etc... (I had several e-mails saved from my mother, a friend who was back packing in Europe, and old friends... she deleted those too), and her and her boyfriend (who stayed with her after finding out she'd slept with her family member) wrote long disgusting messages to me about how I was a spoiled brat, a bad friend and several bad words refuring to the female. (I don't believe in cussing during an argument, it means you don't have anything smart or constructive to say) etc... The only thing I had EVER EVER done that would be construed as a "bad friend" was telling my mother and fiance about what she had done and the only reason I told them was because I did not know how to handle the info she had given me.

My fiance was upset and put her number online to have people prank call her. He took it off after 1 day when I told him I didn't want that.

Her boyfriend put my number all over the internet to have people prank call me, this went on for weeks until I threatened to get them for harrassment.

I was beyond upset, and after a few months after this bad break of our friendship and other friends asking me what went wrong I vented to another friend about what had happened. I was upset and felt betrayed by my friend.

She has tried to be friends again about a year ago and I added her on FB and have kept her at arms length. I did not want to be close friends again. Today while talking she found out that after the fiasco I had spoke of it to other people because I was upset. She now has me blocked. She thinks that she did nothing wrong and that I am a horrible monster out to get her.

To be honest I'm alittle relieved I don't have to be friendly to her and talk to her on FB. I told her I could never trust her again after her hacking my accounts and deleting everything.

Should I apologise? Or just let it go and be glad I'm done with her?

Last edited by AnonymousMoi; 06-30-2011 at 03:45 PM..
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:32 PM
 
124 posts, read 124,831 times
Reputation: 211
So, what's the problem? You sound like you and she are done with each, so I'm not sure what you're looking for. Be glad you're rid of her.
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:34 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
12,822 posts, read 9,081,877 times
Reputation: 8439
Some people are just poison.

I would avoid her like the plague.
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:35 PM
 
3,098 posts, read 2,229,379 times
Reputation: 3641
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousMoi View Post
So I'm looking for advice, what should I do? Right now my heart is torn between relief and guilt.

I had a bestfriend from highschool. We were almost inseperable for 2 years, like sisters. After a while I discovered her jealousy. She was upset because I "had money." I was raised by a single mother who made 25k a year... money was definitley scarce but to her we had money and a better life style because her mother was raising 3 kids on 12k a year and state help.

She was a problem child - bipolar and sent to foster homes for a few years (which is how I met her, she was in a foster home in my town and going to the highschool I was going to, even though her family is from 2 hours away) she had assaulted her brothers before, and had several suicide attempts.

Over the time we knew eachother she exhibited bad manners towards myself and my mother. She lives about 2 hours from me, and on 2 occasions she stayed at my house she demanded she be taken home at 2 - 3 am in the morning because she got mad at something. Once was on my 18th birthday and another was an inconciquencial summer date.

My mother helped her get an apartment through a family friend and she trashed the apartment and had illegal activities going on in the apartment.

About 2 years ago she slept with a close family member, and told me. I was young and didn't know how to process what she'd told me. It was disgusting to me and so I spoke to 2 people I trusted. My mother and fiance. A year later after finding out, we took a trip together. I paid for everything as I knew she didn't have money (hotel, gas, food etc...) On the trip we got to talking about her incident and she found out I'd told my mother and fiance. She was utterly pissed. She locked herself in our hotel room and made a longdistance phone call to her boyfriend which I had to pay for (her call actually put me under on my bank account and I had to borrow money to cover the cost of the call, which she told me she was not going to pay) after our trip I dropped her off at home.

When I got home she had whiped all my email accounts, social sites etc... (I had several e-mails saved from my mother, a friend who was back packing in Europe, and old friends... she deleted those too), and her and her boyfriend (who stayed with her after finding out she'd slept with her family member) wrote long disgusting messages to me about how I was a spoiled brat, a bad friend and several bad words refuring to the female. (I don't believe in cussing during an argument, it means you don't have anything smart or constructive to say) etc... The only thing I had EVER EVER done that would be construed as a "bad friend" was telling my mother and fiance about what she had done and the only reason I told them was because I did not know how to handle the info she had given me.

Her boyfriend put my number all over the internet to have people prank call me.

I was beyond upset, and after a few months after this bad break of our friendship and other friends asking me what went wrong I vented to another friend about what had happened. I was upset and felt betrayed by my friend.

She has tried to be friends again about a year ago and I added her on FB and have kept her at arms length. I did not want to be close friends again. Today while talking she found out that after the fiasco I had spoke of it to other people because I was upset. She now has me blocked. She thinks that she did nothing wrong and that I am a horrible monster out to get her.

To be honest I'm alittle relieved I don't have to be friendly to her and talk to her on FB. I told her I could never trust her again after her hacking my accounts and deleting everything.

Should I apologise? Or just let it go and be glad I'm done with her?
dont add her to FB, dont contact her...she's toxic...stay away!!!
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:36 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 3,277,419 times
Reputation: 4013
Wow...sounds like she's just plain nuts!! As in, mentally unstable and unbalanced...

ETA: I agree with the other posters: stay far, far away, from this nutcase...
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Mile High City
10,795 posts, read 11,521,054 times
Reputation: 9686
Why are you even asking for our opinions?? Do you like all the BS you've been put through?? Most likely not, so move on and delete her ass off FB
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:41 PM
 
2,179 posts, read 1,817,563 times
Reputation: 2549
It sounds like you and your mom gave this girl more love and regard than any of her family members. It is easy to get into trouble when you are a rescuer. I think it's commendable that you and your mom feel compassion for this girl and have tried to give her love when no one else does.. but as an earlier poster said, she is poison.. maybe not her fault originally, but you can't save her.. cut her loose and break all ties.. keep her out of your life.. sad maybe, but the way it has to be.
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:41 PM
 
55 posts, read 50,333 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
Why are you even asking for our opinions?? Do you like all the BS you've been put through?? Most likely not, so move on and delete her ass off FB
No I just feel quite guilty. I never mean to hurt her in the first place with telling my mother or fiance... I just didn't know how to help her. I never spoke about it to anyone until after she had done all those things to me and at that point I was being prank called daily, pissed at all my deleted emails, pissed at the constant name calling from her and her bf...etc and when people kept asking me why I was so upset I vented... which I regret. And now she is upset at me again.
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:44 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
12,822 posts, read 9,081,877 times
Reputation: 8439
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousMoi View Post
No I just feel quite guilty. I never mean to hurt her in the first place with telling my mother or fiance... I just didn't know how to help her. I never spoke about it to anyone until after she had done all those things to me and at that point I was being prank called daily, pissed at all my deleted emails, pissed at the constant name calling from her and her bf...etc and when people kept asking me why I was so upset I vented... which I regret. And now she is upset at me again.
Honestly, I don't think it takes much to "p" her off.

She's got a long history with behavioral problems from what you've posted.

You probably feel guilty because you know how she is and can't do a thing to change her. And it sounds like you've tried to help her out many times.



She's got major issues.

Why revisit that negativity?

Just leave it alone.
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Old 06-30-2011, 03:44 PM
 
Location: US
5,148 posts, read 5,620,142 times
Reputation: 5144
She seems nuts...But you telling people that was not cool either. People kill themselves over secrets told that they don't want out. Learn to keep your mouth closed. But she is not good for you either as you are not for her.
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