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Old 07-09-2011, 11:38 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,397 posts, read 13,684,340 times
Reputation: 6233

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I'm entering my second year in college and I have not made a single good friend. Maybe one solid one and that's it. I am not an unpleasant person in real life, at least I don't think I am. I've explained this plenty of times on here actually.

Did anyone else have similar trouble? These... charlatans in high school all promised me that college would be, socially, a hundred times better than high school. No greater lie has ever been told if you ask me. I enjoy the courses I take and I enjoy the sense of freedom but otherwise it's been pretty similar to high school in terms of social life for me. Maybe it's because I commuted last year (I am moving on campus next semester) but there are plenty of commuter students who don't have ****-all for a social life.

Would just be nice to know I'm not the only one and how, if you didn't make many or any friends, how you coped with it.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:47 PM
 
7,508 posts, read 3,723,512 times
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I had the opposite experience. I didn't want friends when I enter college but found myself to be with some freshmen who were looking for friends. I had relatives and my sister went there. Oh yeah, I also went to two student orientation so that helped. My sister was a mentor so she knew people who helped me. Did you go to student orientation? Did that help a little bit? My two other friends never went to the student orientation so they had a tougher time finding friends when school started.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,397 posts, read 13,684,340 times
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Sort of. I entered in the spring term of 2010 where they do a pretty shortened orientation. Didn't meet anyone there. Then I withdrew for personal reasons and re-enrolled for fall 2010... been doing stellar in terms of grades. I don't see why that would be a problem though. I've met plenty of people, none of them seems to want to be my real friend though.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:50 PM
 
17,867 posts, read 17,774,705 times
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My personality, which is laid back, I didn't have much trouble.

All I did was be honest and made people laugh, and that gained me some friends. It's not the answer your were looking for, sorry.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:53 PM
 
Location: Fairfax
2,880 posts, read 6,166,824 times
Reputation: 1230
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
I'm entering my second year in college and I have not made a single good friend. Maybe one solid one and that's it. I am not an unpleasant person in real life, at least I don't think I am. I've explained this plenty of times on here actually.

Did anyone else have similar trouble? These... charlatans in high school all promised me that college would be, socially, a hundred times better than high school. No greater lie has ever been told if you ask me. I enjoy the courses I take and I enjoy the sense of freedom but otherwise it's been pretty similar to high school in terms of social life for me. Maybe it's because I commuted last year (I am moving on campus next semester) but there are plenty of commuter students who don't have ****-all for a social life.

Would just be nice to know I'm not the only one and how, if you didn't make many or any friends, how you coped with it.
If you're commuting to a school and didn't grow up in the area (with friends from high school) then you'd be better be VERY outgoing if you want a good social life.

Every single friend I met at school I met either in the dorms freshman year, campus organizations, or parties. I did become "friendly" with people I met in my upper level business classes, and we'd sometimes go out for dinner/drinks after a test. But I'd say these people are more contacts in my network than real friends.

I remember freshman year I expected to just go to class and be invited to hang out with people! ...that was a ridiculous expectation. So, do you have anything besides class going on?
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:53 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,397 posts, read 13,684,340 times
Reputation: 6233
I'm honest. I can make people laugh. What else? I feel like there's some crucial je ne sais quoi ingredient that a person needs to actually connect with people on a deeper level and that I lack it. I would seem to have all the characteristics of a person that should have at least a few good friends, but in the end it's like I'm not even there.

e: Yep I'm an officer in a student organization. Next semester I'll join more since it'll be easier as I won't be commuting. That organization netted me that one single friend I mentioned in the OP, out of a couple dozen members.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:54 PM
 
1,248 posts, read 1,900,655 times
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I did. I really enjoyed high school, found it much better in terms of having a friends and socializing. I think it goes both ways, a lot of people make friends easily in college and many others can't get through the cliques and bs. But it did not really bother me too much, I just focused on learning on my own, interests, making friends with people not associated with school and doing my own thing. Once you realize what it is like on the campus you attend, just adjust. It will not suddenly become a hospitable place if it is not currently or vice versa.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:55 PM
 
12,671 posts, read 21,052,348 times
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There were different kinds of people. There were spoiled ones who probably had their college paid by parents and party all day long, didn't really attend classes.

There were hard working international students who were serious.

There were some who were just street smart didn't really needed to attend classes everyday to pass them.
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Old 07-09-2011, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,397 posts, read 13,684,340 times
Reputation: 6233
Poletop I can't even seem to make friends with people not associated with school. Hopefully this dorm living thing turns stuff around. Otherwise I'd like to just get my own apartment, go to class, come home and study then get wasted. Lather, rinse, repeat for 1.5 years then graduate and get a job.
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Old 07-10-2011, 12:08 AM
 
Location: California
30,693 posts, read 33,456,199 times
Reputation: 26112
Being a commuter student makes a huge difference. Those other commuters who have great social lives probably developed them in high school so if you didn't do well there, or went to school somewhere else, you can't compare your situation to theirs. And....some people only make you think they have something going on because they are too insecure to try and connect with people. I've done it.
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