Does Anyone Have The Friend..... (jealous, person, toxic, feel)

[Everest209]

....that anything they do without you is the greatest thing ever, and anything you do without them they put down or belittle ?

If so, doesn't it drive you crazy? Is it human nature, or jealousy or what's the deal?

[cpg35223]

Well, first of all, you're not that person's 'friend.' You are part of his or her entourage. The sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be.

Friends support other friends, and friends are happy when you've had a good experience. And a person who makes you feel bad about yourself is no friend at all. Dump and run.

[Everest209]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Well, first of all, you're not that person's 'friend.' You are part of his or her entourage. The sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be.

Friends support other friends, and friends are happy when you've had a good experience. And a person who makes you feel bad about yourself is no friend at all. Dump and run.

I kind of was waiting for the "not your real friend" answer, which is fine. I think i disagree though, I do hear where your coming from. I know a person can be a true friend and still be this way. I just don't understand why, probably something for a psychology professor. I have a friend who doesn't live near anymore. When I hear about him doing something new or fun where he lives now, I find I do have to manufacture excitement a little bit. Not because I'm mad he's having a good time, but because he's not around for us to share good times together anymore. If that makes sense?

And let's face it, I don't know if anyone has ever had a friend that has NEVER made them feel bad.

[HurricaneDC]

i think it's codependence

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by Everest209

I kind of was waiting for the "not your real friend" answer, which is fine. I think i disagree though, I do hear where your coming from. I know a person can be a true friend and still be this way. I just don't understand why, probably something for a psychology professor. I have a friend who doesn't live near anymore. When I hear about him doing something new or fun where he lives now, I find I do have to manufacture excitement a little bit. Not because I'm mad he's having a good time, but because he's not around for us to share good times together anymore. If that makes sense?

And let's face it, I don't know if anyone has ever had a friend that has NEVER made them feel bad.

Well, let me put it this way. All friends have disagreements from time to time, okay? But when one person consistently makes the other person feel bad about himself or herself through putdowns, then that is a toxic person more interested in occupying a position of dominance rather than being equal partners in a relationship.

Of course, it really boils down to how you define a true friend. To me, a true friend has your back, supports you in life, and is someone you can trust absolutely. If you have somebody who puts you down as a matter of course, then that person doesn't really fit any of those qualifications.

[Prince_Frog]

No I don't have friends like this.

The friends I have are genuine and not like what you describe.

Once I pick up that someone is like this all the time I ignore them.

[BoomBoxing]

YES. lol I had to laugh when I saw the first sentence because it describes one of my best friends to a T. Although he does not really get mad or jealous for things he isn't at so I think it's a funny trait more than anything malicious.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Everest209

....that anything they do without you is the greatest thing ever, and anything you do without them they put down or belittle ?

If so, doesn't it drive you crazy? Is it human nature, or jealousy or what's the deal?

Human nature to some extent.

If the friend's good traits outweigh their bad traits, just let it go.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by Everest209

....that anything they do without you is the greatest thing ever, and anything you do without them they put down or belittle ?

If so, doesn't it drive you crazy? Is it human nature, or jealousy or what's the deal?

It would indeed drive me crazy....I think a friend like that is really just showing their insecurities and lack of confidence...by belittling you, and putting you down they somehow gain a false sense of importance .

[WyoEagle]

That doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.