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Old 07-24-2011, 04:47 PM
 
1,248 posts, read 1,897,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I would think that person had no friends for a reason.

Mind you, I don't think a person has to have lots of friends. But not having a handful of people who like her? Big fat warning side.
A friend is more than just a person who likes another.
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:54 PM
 
591 posts, read 745,607 times
Reputation: 682
Main reasons:

Just moved to a new area

Asperger's, a reclusive personality, shyness or other issues

In recovery, most friends they know are substance abusers and they broke off contact, the remaining "friends" ditched them at the worst of their addictive phase

Artistic temperament/loner/a statistical outlier in tastes and opinions within their region

Bluntly honest or seen as "know-it-all", don't play the social gossip-political game

Last edited by Doctor Blues; 07-24-2011 at 04:55 PM.. Reason: left out something important
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:54 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 48,338,485 times
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I'm a very outgoing and bubbly person and I don't have a lot of friends: friends come and go like the weather IMHO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tweetybird11208 View Post
I'm talking long term like they are known for being withdrawn
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:57 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,847 posts, read 30,289,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tweetybird11208 View Post
would you want be in a relationship with them? would you think something was wrong with them? be honest
Neither my husband nor I have friends, to speak of. We have a few acquaintances, but as far as close friends...A few from our childhood that we call from time to time and send cards to. Nobody near by.

Life is so much easier that way. Friends are *very* demanding of time and attention. We simply do not have the time, nor the inclination to spend nurturing friendships.

I think you are perfectly normal. Maybe a little on one side or the other of the bell curve, but certainly within normal limits.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:59 PM
 
157 posts, read 444,246 times
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I thought a former work supervisor was a "friend", until I asked for a letter of reference and she refused to sign one that I had gone to the trouble of writing for her. It was not like I was any competition for her in the job market or anything. After all, I had moved hundreds of miles away. I really saw this as an act of selfishness, since I would have provided her with the same. Things have definitely cooled between us.
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:00 PM
 
1,248 posts, read 1,897,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
Neither my husband nor I have friends, to speak of. We have a few acquaintances, but as far as close friends...A few from our childhood that we call from time to time and send cards to. Nobody near by.

Life is so much easier that way. Friends are *very* demanding of time and attention. We simply do not have the time, nor the inclination to spend nurturing friendships.

I think you are perfectly normal. Maybe a little on one side or the other of the bell curve, but certainly within normal limits.

20yrsinBranson
Just curious but are you living in the same area you are originally from or not?
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:04 PM
 
1,237 posts, read 2,978,331 times
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Like others have said - if it's situational, no red flag.

I am notoriously shy and find it difficult to break into new social groups. I am very independent and can function on my own well. However, I would prefer to have people I call friends. I have a handful of quality college friends - but we don't keep in touch much and are spread across the states.

If you don't like your situation, change it. Make the effort. I know, it's easier said than done, but it CAN be done. A month ago I found myself in a place that I had lived for 2 years and while I know my coworkers and a handful of other people in the city, I don't have any friends so to speak. I joined meetup.com and everyone I've met so far is super welcoming. It's a slow process, but it's the right direction.

Make an effort. And if you prefer to be withdrawn, then yes, you will probably have a difficult time finding a relationship as it will seem that you prefer to be by yourself.
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:04 PM
 
326 posts, read 721,257 times
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I think the reason I am a loner is because I have an artistic temperment I cant really relate to some of the people around me because they think I am so weird and crazy.
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:07 PM
 
248 posts, read 693,385 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tweetybird11208 View Post
would you want be in a relationship with them? would you think something was wrong with them? be honest
it depends on the individual and whether a compromise could take place.

a relationship with someone is accepting them for who they are and if it includes that, you can either accept it or not.

one can talk about possible reasons why that might and maybe slowly work to have it happen, but the opposite could also happen. one might not want to talk about it and will make it difficult for anything to happen.

it all starts with the person though. they will change only if they want to and this extend to meeting and making friends. you can try and help, but ultimately it's up to that person.


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Old 07-24-2011, 05:07 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,631,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tweetybird11208 View Post
I think the reason I am a loner is because I have an artistic temperment I cant really relate to some of the people around me because they think I am so weird and crazy.

Then you need to join your "tribe" i.e. other artistic groups, like writers, painters etc.

When you join your tribe, you'd feel at home, not weird or crazy. They'd get you.
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