U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-31-2011, 04:12 AM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,436,650 times
Reputation: 8359

Advertisements

He seems very selfish to ask your daughter to keep the secret and then continue having the affair. If he was so terrified of you finding out and losing you, then why was he having an affair? He doesn't seem to respect you or your daughter, or this other woman he was sharing himself with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-31-2011, 04:23 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,667,972 times
Reputation: 26711
I told and I'd do it again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2011, 04:30 AM
 
Location: Queens THE REAL international city
2,386 posts, read 5,435,683 times
Reputation: 2826
Personally,

If I was in that situation I would have spoken to whomever the cheating spouse is and tell them to confess. My loyalty is with both of them and I would just want the air to be cleared out instead of having to feel more loyal than one than the other (IF I were on good terms with both parents). I think its only fair that if one of the parents were cheating and knew you found out that they be fair for to you as their kid and not make you feel torn about keeping such a bad secret away from the other parents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2011, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,389 posts, read 17,302,981 times
Reputation: 14022
That was really a bad, bad situation for your daughter.

I'd probably have told the cheating dad that he needed to either stop cheating or tell his wife or I would. Which means that I probably wouldn't have told.

Either way, you shouldn't resent your daughter for not telling. As she told you, she didn't tell you because she didn't want to hurt you. Makes sense to me. One thing a child, even an adult child, doesn't want to do is break up their parents' marriage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2011, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,662 posts, read 26,201,681 times
Reputation: 5082
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
A person is an adult at 21. A "young adult" is generally age 16-20. In the OP's case, her daughter was a full adult when she found out what was going on..
Most states deem a adult at 18.
I think most people consider a young adult 18 to 25.
16 is a minor in most if not all states.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2011, 08:59 AM
 
24 posts, read 32,376 times
Reputation: 21
I would confront the parent who is cheating. No beating around the bush. Just come out and tell them you know what is going on. Tell your parent who is cheating to come clean with the other parent. The sooner the better. The longer they wait to come clean will just make a big mess of things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2011, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,631,481 times
Reputation: 1838
What a heartbreaking situation to be in ...


My father was a big serial cheater~ he used to 'use' me when I was 5 to out him to my mother. He was too cowardly to simply break it off ... I remember when I was 5 he'd say we were going out for the day, and we'd go out with 'her' ... the other woman. haaa ! When I'd go home and talk about her to my mother.

I have zero respect for anyone that cheats- man or woman. And, especially moreso if there are children involved ... So sad. Additionally, anyone who plays/cheats/gets involved with someone who is already taken deserves exactly what they get in the end. And, usually, it's not a positive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2011, 03:40 AM
 
24 posts, read 32,376 times
Reputation: 21
Sad to hear that from you. It's normal to hate the cheating parent and lost your respect somehow. This is a really sensitive topic and children are suppose to be innocent in this kind of situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2011, 12:37 PM
 
2,677 posts, read 3,852,563 times
Reputation: 1332
I'm 29 and don't live with my parents. If one was cheating, I wouldn't say anything. It's not my place, it's their relationship, I have my own life to worry about it. And I would expect the one that is being cheated on to understand and respect that.

Your husband is a scum bag (1) for cheating (2) for doing this to your daughter. However, I feel it's not her place to talk to you about it. She's a grown woman and has her own life. I feel that meddling in other people's relationships is asking for trouble. Don't be mad at your daughter, your husband lied and betrayed you, she witheld information, which I don't think is lying and she did nothing to betray you in anyway. If she has said something to you, she would become the person in the middle and that's not fair to her. This is between you and your husband.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2011, 01:35 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 2,150,515 times
Reputation: 1611
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
Most states deem a adult at 18.
I think most people consider a young adult 18 to 25.
16 is a minor in most if not all states.

Actually, most states consider 16-17 year olds to be legal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:31 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top