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Old 08-23-2011, 04:53 PM
 
310 posts, read 1,355,034 times
Reputation: 240

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
In some states, a parent can file for a child to be adjudged "beyond parental control" and testify that the child is incorrigible. The parent then has no legal obligation to support or have the child under their roof; can even have him/her arrested for tresspassing if they show up on the property. Usually this is only supposed to be done if the child has an excessively violent or criminal history, is done just before the child is taken, not merely to jail but to prison, but some judges, lawyers, and members of the LE community can say the right things and file the right paperwork. Usually the child does not know that they have rights at all, and has no money to hire an attorney or seek protection once the wheels are in motion. Often, too, the child is more than ready to get away from their parents, or has already left in every way except official paper.

Parents who want to dump their kids can usually find a way. When Nebraska made that law about not prosecuting parents who leave their children at hospitals, police and fire stations, etc, and forgot to put in an age limit, parents were coming for hundreds of miles to drop off toddlers, elementary school-age kids, and even teens, until the Legislature fixed it!

Wow. All I can say is... wow. "Parents who dump their kids" I've heard of 'dumping' animals but not human beings. So sad. I wonder if one day, they will make people pass a test before being able to reproduce.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:11 AM
 
310 posts, read 1,355,034 times
Reputation: 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
While not exactly the same type of situation, I won't go into the graphic details of what had transpired to this point, only say it had nothing to do with being a rebellious teenager or anything like that. But I got a 'my way or the highway' ultimatem so I took the highway and I remember walking out the door and he stood there and said, 'Don't even think about coming back if you go.' I waved and I never went back, in fact, some 10 years later I ended up in a position to fire him from his job. I had to and it wasn't out of spite by me. Again, I'll hold back the details.

Wow. Your story sound interesting and I only heard a few of the details.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:17 AM
 
310 posts, read 1,355,034 times
Reputation: 240
You know, I remember my grandpa telling me my mom had tried to get my dad to continue paying child support beyond high school, but funny there was no kid to support anymore. Whatever money he sent was just extra cash for her. Not like it was any different when I WAS there. I remember when I was probably 11 years old she got back pay child support of $8,000, yet, I still had to wear holey clothes. Anyway...
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,299,033 times
Reputation: 1576
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwifruit2 View Post
My bf thinks I should just forget her and move on with my life.
That's because he sees everything you've been through because of her and knows no good will come of it. Listen to him, he's right and cares about you. It's your mom's loss.
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,623,830 times
Reputation: 24104
If your Mother kicked you out at age 16,would you still talk to her?

Uh, yes. I would to find some answers as to why. Was it because she was being a t-total brat, and needed to move on because she was causing trouble, not contributing to the family, then ya,, Someone should have set this child down to talk to her. Maybe she could noy follow the rules,etc...
I was out at a young age too, but I didn`t have a choice.
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Old 11-19-2011, 10:36 AM
 
310 posts, read 1,355,034 times
Reputation: 240
Unhappy update

Well, I just wanted to add an update to this post I put on here.

I have reconciled with my mom, only because I have come to a complete understanding of why she is the way she is. Recently my grandmother, who has always been unreasonable, mean, moody, etc., was officially diagnosed with a neurological, genetic, disease known as Huntington's or Huntington's Chorea Disease. This explains a LOT. It is hereditary, and although my mom doesn't really show signs of it, yet, I can't help but be terrified that it may pass down to her, then myself, then of course, dare I say it, my 2 precious babies. The offspring of the parent affected by the HD gene have a 50/50 chance of inheriting HD. As you may be able to imagine, I am absolutely devastated.

My grandmother had her blood tested (this wasn't her idea, she has always been in denial), after having a stroke at her home. My mom rushed her to the ER after finding her lying on the floor in her living room, naked, and unable to move. She was in ICU, they took her blood and finally gave us all the proof we always feared to know. She was positive for HD.

The worst part about this disease is the loneliness the HD victim must suffer their whole life. Onset can occur at any time in life. Like a ticking time bomb. I don't know what to do. I have 'friends' on facebook, but most of them could care less what I'm going through or really don't understand how horrible it is, as long as it's not them. "Sucks to be you..." I fear for my mom. I fear for my family as I know firsthand how devastating it is for the family who has to deal with the person affected by HD. What am I going to tell my kids? They can't have kids of their own for fear of passing it on to the next generation? Although now they can plant the embryo that does not carry the gene by in vitro procedure, but who wants to have an HD parent. What quality of life is there?

There are really no words that can describe what I am feeling. I should have already known, but I guess maybe I too was in denial. My great grandfather had it. He couldn't even eat in the final stages. I was really young when he died and I remember making him smile right before he died. My aunt Marlene, my grandma's sister, died of it. She fell (HD victims lose control of their muscles, they become at risk of falling) and broke her neck and was paralyzed. On her deathbed in the hospital, she was only able to communicate by blinking once for no and twice for yes. I wasn't able to be there when she died, but my mom had told me it was the saddest thing she ever saw. My aunt Marlene babysat me as a child. I do remember her having those jerky movements.

My grandmother, I remember she was always easy to set off. A lot of the time, she would go off the handle unexpectedly. Anger, bitterness, negativity, inability to control emotions, muscle tightness, depression, paranoia, bipolar behavior, psychotic behavior, and much, much more. It varies with every person. These begin in the 'first' stage. It progresses further when they start showing signs of dementia or inability to reason, hallucinations (she thought there was an witch living under her porch). In my grandmother's case, she got the 'chorea' which is when they can't control their movements. I remember I was at her house one day sitting beside her and I asked, "Grandma? Why is your leg moving like that?" She told me it was leg cramps. Well it wasn't leg cramps.

My grandmother is in the final stages of HD. There is no cure. It has been described as having Parkinson's, Tourette's, and Alzheimer's diseases all mashed up into one terrible disease. HD causes the victim's brain to very slowly, deteriorate over time. The victim loses control of emotional response, their muscles, and eventually they can't even swallow, thus causing death by starvation. It take everything from you slowly over time. One thing to think about though is the fact that the person with HD is completely coherant of what is going on. They may even know what they say is wrong at the time they say it but their brain won't allow them to say what they really want to say. They can never show their true colors, even if they want to.

It has been said that if the devil himself could create a disease, huntington's would be it. From firsthand experience, I can vouch that it is an awful, miserable, and cruel disease. It is unfair not only to the victim, but to the families as well.

To learn more about Huntington's Disease, you can google it, go to youtube and see many stories about it, or follow one of my links below. Please pray for my grandmother and my family, I'd appreciate it.


Huntington's Disease Denial, a Personal Story in Progress - Kevin Jess - Digital Journal


Huntington's Disease: A Sad Truth - YouTube


Huntington's and Parkinson's Disease Issues (Part 1) - YouTube
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Old 11-19-2011, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Altoona, PA
932 posts, read 1,174,559 times
Reputation: 914
No.

I was in a similar situation. I tried to forgive that (and other things), but I failed. No don't consider it worth shelling out $$$'s on therapy either, just to try to bury the hatchet with people who I am unlikely to ever see again (best that way).
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Old 11-19-2011, 03:45 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,653,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glasvegas View Post
No.

I was in a similar situation. I tried to forgive that (and other things), but I failed. No don't consider it worth shelling out $$$'s on therapy either, just to try to bury the hatchet with people who I am unlikely to ever see again (best that way).
In general I am pretty anti-therapy. However, I'd recommend it for the OP. i wasn't kicked out as a teen, but I did leave voluntarily about a month after I turned 17. A lifetime of child abuse finally took its toll, so when my Mother followed up a jab and right cross with ripping my hair out of my scalp with her bare hands, I packed my bags and left on the next Greyhound bus. Now I am 41, haven't had much luck in relationships and have no children. (and I am skipping a terribly tumultuous period in my 20s) I suspect being badly damaged by the one person who typically offers unconditional love is very damaging.

Get help, OP.
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Old 11-20-2011, 09:09 AM
 
Location: NJ
18,665 posts, read 19,936,526 times
Reputation: 7314
OP, You asked an easy question, and the answer, adamantly, is NO. Under no circumstances would I talk to her. EVER. My departed best friend endured the same thing, attempted to reconnect, and the cold hearted one who bred her, who deserves not the term of mother, stayed as cold as ever right up to her death bed (She did want the life insurance money, of course). What your mother did , no matter how wild a teen you were or were not, is despicable. There are no more excuses for it, than there are for Penn States assistant coach. Zero tolerence should be your policy towards her, any relatives of her, any friends of hers, and any colleagues of hers. Always.
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