Problems with having just one friend (husband, mother, friendship) - Issues with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances - City-Data Forum

mtlquebec102 · 08-02-2011, 04:42 PM

Has anybody here in their life ever have just ONE friend they could count on, or at least thought you could? They end up becoming a dick and then the "friendship" ends and he ends up living in your brain and tearing you up until the next time you make a new friend, which could take years.

I think it's better to have more than 1 friend, so then at least if one them becomes a freakin' jerk who won't cooperate, at least you have other friends to go to.

What I described in the first paragraph happened, or is happening, to me. Years ago, I had a friendship with someone that lasted just 2 months. Took over my brain until about 2 years ago I met someone else and he also became another jerkface and he's going to invade my brain until the next time I make new friends.

LuckyGem · 08-02-2011, 05:15 PM

Are you making friends until "they don't cooperate" which means they don't agree with you or do what you want them to... then they are cast off? Are you using people?

ferretkona · 08-02-2011, 06:04 PM

The key is to develop enough skill to be independent. Then you can relax and not need to need your friends.

therewego · 08-03-2011, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ferretkona

The key is to develop enough skill to be independent. Then you can relax and not need to need your friends.

This is the approach I have taken. I have one good friend near me(in a semi-new area) and if she is busy I get busy doing something on my own and I am fine with that.

poletop1 · 08-03-2011, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by therewego

This is the approach I have taken. I have one good friend near me(in a semi-new area) and if she is busy I get busy doing something on my own and I am fine with that.

What did you do before then or have you always been the independent type?

Ulysses61 · 08-03-2011, 08:34 PM

I've never relied on friends because most people are inherently unreliable. I trust my mother and my husband and no one else. It's served me well.

If you have ONE truly good friend in your life, consider yourself lucky.

imsh0t · 08-05-2011, 12:45 AM

it takes a long time to know someones character. I dont think you knew the people you made friends with long enough to actually trust them

therewego · 08-05-2011, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poletop1

What did you do before then or have you always been the independent type?

Before this, I would put myself out there to make friends only to not have the friendship reciprocated. It was always me making the call, the lunch date, etc and it gets old. Yes, I have always been independent. I usually can't rely on "friends", and luckily I have a great husband as a best friend.

therewego · 08-05-2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ulysses61

i've never relied on friends because most people are inherently unreliable. I trust my mother and my husband and no one else. It's served me well.

If you have one truly good friend in your life, consider yourself lucky.

exactly!

therewego · 08-05-2011, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by therewego

Before this, I would put myself out there to make friends only to not have the friendship reciprocated. It was always me making the call, the lunch date, etc and it gets old. Yes, I have always been independent. I usually can't rely on "friends", and luckily I have a great husband as a best friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by poletop1

What did you do before then or have you always been the independent type?

Originally Posted by MissLucky
Someone did the same thing to me yesterday.. Actually two people did the same thing to me yesterday . One promised to bring her daughter so she could play with my son but it never happened. She called to apologize for this however so I'll giver her a break. The other promised to come over for dinner, then as we got close to the agreed time (like 20 mins before) they started texting casual things like "hey, how's your day going?" Uhmm, how's my day going?? I have spent the last couple of hours cooking for us, that's how. So then here comes the "I'm sorry I can't make it tonight" I text back saying that's fine but couldn't they have just told me earlier so I wouldn't have had to put all the effort I did? No response. Decided to call their cellphone, no response. So I'm super mad at this point, thinking of doing all the unthinkable things like unfriending them on Facebook and all, lol!

We need a new circle of friends, I guess..

To Poletop, I quoted this from another thread which had been my experience in the friend department which is why I am perfectly happy w/one reliable friend.