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It hurts when friends do mean stuff to you or talk mean sh$#%t about you that isn't true but when its family, it takes your breath away and hurts your heart.[/quote]
SO true. How funny, on the day you posted this, it was my birthday, and no one but 2/5 members of my family even wished me happy birthday. I've learned to grow a thick hide though, because I do know better (not to expect anything) and the life I live with my own family is happy, rewarding, and rich. Praise God, and yes, I'm a Christian.
The best "revenge" is to live happy and let things like this slide off you. Other people (even family) don't make or break you, nor do they have any say in who you are. I feel for you.
It hurts when anyone does mean things to you. That's just normal; no one likes it or feels good when it happens. The only certain way to prevent people doing mean things to you or saying things about you is to hide yourself away, and not have people in your life at all. Otherwise, flush out the people who do these things to you and keep yourself open to those who don't do these things to you.
"If you can't change the people around you.... change the people around you!"
Most people are stuck in prison sentences - jobs, careers they hate, relationships they never wanted to be in, friends they don't like, - and constant social pressure to say they enjoy it rather than being honest.
Finding faults unfairly in others is trying impose the prison sentence on others.
Most people are stuck in prison sentences - jobs, careers they hate, relationships they never wanted to be in, friends they don't like, - and constant social pressure to say they enjoy it rather than being honest.
Finding faults unfairly in others is trying impose the prison sentence on others.
This is sort of what I'm thinking as well. Maybe a lot of people are pissy because they're in prison in a way. It does seem like it's getting worse, though.
This is sort of what I'm thinking as well. Maybe a lot of people are pissy because they're in prison in a way. It does seem like it's getting worse, though.
Yeah I think people take out their frustrations on other people, and drag down others - rather than just being honest with themselves about their short comings, or accept the reality of their life.
This is a very interesting topic and one I can relate to very well.
When a person (usually family or close friends) spends more time analyzing your life and their is nowhere close to perfect. It makes me wonder what is the ulitmate gain from wasting so much time doing this? Its like they wake up everyday with the goal of wishing, looking, finding the smallest faults in others. My motto is the less people know the better. If they want to waste their time finding dirt on you, then make them work for it.
This thread is interesting because I just went from living with nobody to BRIEFLY living with a guy who had just broken up with his wife.
He did this to me, constantly. It was such a shock to my system after years of peace. I couldn't quite put it into words for the first week or two, I just knew that he made me feel nervous. It took 3 weeks of his grinding negativity and criticism before I woke up to what was going on and told him to leave. I think he transferred his behaviour with his wife straight over to me and it was just horrible to live with.
Never a good word, never a confidence boost, just negative and slightly derogatory all the time, while of course overlooking the fact that his own life had just gone down the gurgler. He still felt entitled to judge me, and did it, often.
The funny thing is, he's gone back to being nice again, now I don't live with him.
Here is one trait I notice - and this applies to Family and Friends - I guess we are all gulity of it - but some people spend their whole life engaged in this.
You point out successes your life- or just things your passionate or interested in - and they will brush over it as not important
They are constantly trying to find out your weak spot, your fault, something, or what your not good at. They will try to remind you of faults from many years ago - and focus your mind totally on all your problems/faults etc.
They will talk to you acting friendly - but all the while they are fishing for problems, weaknesses or a thing they can use against you. Always scheming for some minor advantage over you.
There are trying to pigeon hole you in some negative way - to define you as this or that. I see it as a tactic to weaken your resolve so you don't focus on your strengths.
Most people I meet these days - Their entire outlook is based on envy and competition. They secretly delight in seeing others lose their job while acting concerned, they like create problems between you and your partner - there basic outlook on life is when you are having problems - it makes them happier.
I appreciate this sounds extreme but its the way I see it.
Wow. Maybe I don't pay attention or choose not to, but I tend to surround myself around people who aren't like this. Most people I'm cool with are secure with themselves.
I believe the word for these types of people you describe are called: "Haters." Haters feel extremely empty and scared inside. They're scared they feel they're not good enough. When they see someone who is happy, they need to pull others down along with them. They play games, throw tantrums, nitpick on the small things, go petty on you, try to create some kind of social dominance/pecking order.
They're really a waste of space. There are still some really chill people out there. They're just more open-minded and tend to engage in more exciting or interesting things other than minor pettiness.
Here is one trait I notice - and this applies to Family and Friends - I guess we are all gulity of it - but some people spend their whole life engaged in this.
You point out successes your life- or just things your passionate or interested in - and they will brush over it as not important
They are constantly trying to find out your weak spot, your fault, something, or what your not good at. They will try to remind you of faults from many years ago - and focus your mind totally on all your problems/faults etc.
They will talk to you acting friendly - but all the while they are fishing for problems, weaknesses or a thing they can use against you. Always scheming for some minor advantage over you.
There are trying to pigeon hole you in some negative way - to define you as this or that. I see it as a tactic to weaken your resolve so you don't focus on your strengths.
Most people I meet these days - Their entire outlook is based on envy and competition. They secretly delight in seeing others lose their job while acting concerned, they like create problems between you and your partner - there basic outlook on life is when you are having problems - it makes them happier.
I appreciate this sounds extreme but its the way I see it.
I always counter back with "Yeah, what should I do about it?" If they don't provide any actionable advice (or at least try to), then they don't really care about you and more or less want to feel better about themselves.
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