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Old 09-03-2011, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,302,020 times
Reputation: 39844

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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
You are being too kind loves....

I think his uncle and aunt are way out of line here. Instead of telling him that if it's due to money, he should work harder, perhaps they could offer for once to pitch in for his tickets.
Although we don't know what their financial situation is, but if my nephew didn't have parents, I would go out of my way to help him financially myself, even if he doesn't need it or ask for it.
It's off putting to me that they never visited him, he always went to visit them everywhere.

With that said OP, I would still go and visit them, if it's important TO YOU. Forget about what they said, they are acting childish.
EXACLTY, they are acting childish, just like I said some elderly do.

I've known too many elderly to react this way - it's actually pretty common. They are hurt he can't come and they are lashing out at him in their hurt.

Rising above the insults and working to see where this is really coming from is character building and the most loving way to react.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,365,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
EXACLTY, they are acting childish, just like I said some elderly do.

I've known too many elderly to react this way - it's actually pretty common. They are hurt he can't come and they are lashing out at him in their hurt.

Rising above the insults and working to see where this is really coming from is character building and the most loving way to react.
It is true that this will build his character, I still think they are being unfair and not only childish, really quite selfish too.
Anyway, it will be really big of him to visit them after this type of behavior, and really, he shouldn't do it for them, but for himself. I mean, my OWN blood started boiling after reading original post and I have nothing to do with it! I cannot imagine how this must feel for OP.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:45 AM
 
11,678 posts, read 14,369,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post

Anyway, I get an e-mail this morning saying maybe I should not bother! That I should be more organized, and if this is due to money, maybe work harder.
I'm wondering if this was a miscommunication as well. It's hard to know how you read it without seeing their exact words, but I've had a lot of experience misinterpreting email exchanges.

I would just tell them that you have the money and the time set aside to see them (give them exact dates). Add that you would understand if it's not a good time. See what they say. If they say "no," then you can get all offended.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,302,020 times
Reputation: 39844
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
It is true that this will build his character, I still think they are being unfair and not only childish, really quite selfish too.
Anyway, it will be really big of him to visit them after this type of behavior, and really, he shouldn't do it for them, but for himself. I mean, my OWN blood started boiling after reading original post and I have nothing to do with it! I cannot imagine how this must feel for OP.


It's fine to agree with D.Scott that he didn't deserve to be treated this way, he didn't!

But when you consider the source and that these folks most likely acted out of extreme disappointment can't you be just a bit more forgiving?

MM, you are still young - but one day you too will be elderly and will likely need the patience of your own younger family members.

Not that I am in the senior bracket either, but I'm closer to it than you are - and I'm seeing this a lot more now with my own elderly relatives than ever before. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person, take the high road and love folks anyway.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:51 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,365,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It's fine to agree with D.Scott that he didn't deserve to be treated this way, he didn't!

But when you consider the source and that these folks most likely acted out of extreme disappointment can't you be just a bit more forgiving?

MM, you are still young - but one day you too will be elderly and will likely need the patience of your own younger family members.

Not that I am in the senior bracket either, but I'm closer to it than you are - and I'm seeing this a lot more now with my own elderly relatives than ever before. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person, take the high road and love folks anyway.
Well, I never said that he shouldn't be forgiving Loves...what I think is that his anger is justified. To just brush it off to old age is not a good enough excuse. Besides, I don't think the fact that they are elderly have anything to do with their behavior anyway.

We are in agreement that he should take the high road and visit them anyway. We are both suggesting for the same end result.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:53 AM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,224 posts, read 14,863,814 times
Reputation: 14977
How wonderful for you, Vegasp. But the man from Brooklyn is looking for advice for HIS situation which obviously is not what yours is.

OP, I agree with most of the replies - consider they are disappointed and that is why you were chastised. I think you would feel quite guilty if you don't make this trip soon and something happens to either of them. Just let this e-mail be forgotten; go and enjoy the time you have left with them.

PS - if things get a little uncomfortable for any reason, find a room off the strip.
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Old 09-03-2011, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,302,020 times
Reputation: 39844
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, I never said that he shouldn't be forgiving Loves...what I think is that his anger is justified. To just brush it off to old age is not a good enough excuse. Besides, I don't think the fact that they are elderly have anything to do with their behavior anyway.

We are in agreement that he should take the high road and visit them anyway. We are both suggesting for the same end result.
We usually agree in the end!
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Old 09-03-2011, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,596 posts, read 13,085,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
How wonderful for you, Vegasp. But the man from Brooklyn is looking for advice for HIS situation which obviously is not what yours is.

OP, I agree with most of the replies - consider they are disappointed and that is why you were chastised. I think you would feel quite guilty if you don't make this trip soon and something happens to either of them. Just let this e-mail be forgotten; go and enjoy the time you have left with them.

PS - if things get a little uncomfortable for any reason, find a room off the strip.
Exactly whats on my mind every time I plan to go out there. The family is very small as it is. There is no time for a years long feud over something that was not nice to say, but not a heinous act in any way either. Their 2 kids actually had a dispute at the dinner table 4 years ago and it took them until late last year to even stay in the same room together. And it was over something that was not serious enough to warrant a years long thing.

And it's Vegas after all..Can find a nice place to chill if necessary. As long as I don't wake up in a strange room, married to a strange woman like the Hangover movie.

Your advice is very appreciated everyone!

Last edited by D. Scott; 09-03-2011 at 11:36 AM.. Reason: Adding something.
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Old 09-03-2011, 11:37 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,945,936 times
Reputation: 8079
Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
Exactly whats on my mind every time I plan to go out there. The family is very small as it is. There is no time for a years long feud over something that was not nice to say, but not a heinous act in any way either. Their 2 kids actually had a dispute at the dinner table 4 years ago and it took them until late last year to even stay in the same room together. And it was over something that was not serious enough to warrant a years long thing.

And it's Vegas after all..Can find a nice place to chill if necessary. As long as I don't wake up in a strange room, married to a strange woman like the Hangover movie.

Your advice is very appreciated everyone!
D,


stop trying to figure out what they are thinking and ask them.

Did you call them.

No one on this forum knows what really went on, I'd seriously go and call the now.
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Old 09-04-2011, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,596 posts, read 13,085,420 times
Reputation: 16135
Default *update*

Thanks to all,

Spoke to them last night. They admitted they were a tad harsh, and that they are under some stress now. Their kids are not talking (Again) and they are under strain supporting their adult 40 + yr old son. He never left home and does not work currently. (Has not worked much ever, but this is another story.)

Going to go see them regardless. Family is family, and I never planned to mad for more then a day or so anyway. Life is short, And they are much older as it is. Plus, it's Vegas. Plenty to do if i want to just chill somewhere for a couple of hours by myself.

Thanks All for the advice, My friends.

D. Scott
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