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View Poll Results: Was I controlling
Yes, you were 9 25.71%
No, you weren't 26 74.29%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-06-2011, 03:36 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,435 posts, read 52,425,333 times
Reputation: 70406

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
Apparently, *SHE* is the one with control issues. I find that whenever someone criticizes me for something, it is usually a crime they are guilty of.

20yrsinBranson
Waiting for someone to trot out this old chestnut.
I don't know in this case, but this is not nearly always true. Or even usually true.
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,319,180 times
Reputation: 39846
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookinForMayberry View Post
I don't think the situation you described was controlling, but it is possible that she was commenting on the bigger picture, and just did not elaborate. The fact that she invites you over attests to the fact that she loves you, regardless, but she might still view you as controlling. There may be a basis for that belief, or not.

It does seem telling to me that you needed public assurance that you were right and she was wrong, and that is usually a sign of a person that needs to feel in control of situations.

Of course, I can always be wrong -- most of us can.... present company excluded. 8)
Someone else who gets it
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:15 AM
 
Location: US
5,144 posts, read 10,815,850 times
Reputation: 5340
Since you didnt let it go and neither did she you probably are both controlling. Whatever. Give her a wedgie next time.
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:48 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
40,162 posts, read 15,125,028 times
Reputation: 102064
Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainman51 View Post
All I see is complaints about serving size. Yet i see no gratitude for her feeding you. That tells me alot. And would it not have been simpler to just not eat everything she gave you?
I agree ^ . If you don't like the way she serves food, then don't go to her house to eat, for Pete's sake! Otherwise, be grateful for the meal and
keep your mouth shut (well, you can open it to eat! ).
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Old 10-17-2011, 02:52 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
40,162 posts, read 15,125,028 times
Reputation: 102064
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
I have a sister who's a freak about food and you tell her you don't want something b/c you're (full, don't like it, whatever) and she thinks something is wrong with you and will put it on your plate anyway.
Does she force-feed it to you ^ ? If not, then just leave what you don't want on your dish. It's as simple as that. And if it causes an argument, then stop going there to eat.
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Old 10-17-2011, 04:35 PM
 
Location: New England
1,132 posts, read 2,058,636 times
Reputation: 1981
Amazed at some of the posts. Not enough info, too much info..... Didn't express gratitude here on the board for being invited for dinner......... She knows I appreciate being invited. Didn't come here to tell you that I was grateful. Holy $&!+

Here's me in a nutshell. I take care of myself. I don't rely on or ask of others for anything (generally). So many people are lazy an will take, take and take.

Also, you'd think I was a baby of the depression ere. I HATE waste. Not going to let food go on my plate, then get thrown away if it isn't finished.

Oh, and I didn't need public assurance that I was right. Wanted peoples opinion, and if I was wrong, I'd do what it takes to change. That's something else about me. I want the truth from people, something most people can't handle. If I'm wrong in this or that situation, tell me. I'll look inward and do what it takes to become a better person.

And just because my sister said it at that moment, doesn't anything. Amazing how people can read into that, and automatically think she was right, then put themselves on a pedestal! She was really pissed at her fiance. She vented about it later that night.
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Old 10-17-2011, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,319,180 times
Reputation: 39846
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
Amazed at some of the posts. Not enough info, too much info..... Didn't express gratitude here on the board for being invited for dinner......... She knows I appreciate being invited. Didn't come here to tell you that I was grateful. Holy $&!+

Here's me in a nutshell. I take care of myself. I don't rely on or ask of others for anything (generally). So many people are lazy an will take, take and take.

Also, you'd think I was a baby of the depression ere. I HATE waste. Not going to let food go on my plate, then get thrown away if it isn't finished.

Oh, and I didn't need public assurance that I was right. Wanted peoples opinion, and if I was wrong, I'd do what it takes to change. That's something else about me. I want the truth from people, something most people can't handle. If I'm wrong in this or that situation, tell me. I'll look inward and do what it takes to become a better person.

And just because my sister said it at that moment, doesn't anything. Amazing how people can read into that, and automatically think she was right, then put themselves on a pedestal! She was really pissed at her fiance. She vented about it later that night.

You didn't seem to want it from me.

Just sayin'....
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Old 10-18-2011, 04:06 AM
 
Location: New England
1,132 posts, read 2,058,636 times
Reputation: 1981
I sent you a DM on the first day, and you never responded. So yes, I was asking for more. DM is better when having direct dialog with someone, IMO.
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Old 10-18-2011, 06:44 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,803,195 times
Reputation: 17982
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
.
It does have to do with the story. He IS controlling. He told her not to work so that he could control her. It does have to do with the story/question. I will never be like him.



I do disapprove of her lifestyle. I CAN NOT STAND to see a lady CATER to their man, also known as a MALE CHAUVINIST. He has her right under his thumb, and that is not where a lady belongs. Side by side and equal is the way it should be. So, yes, I disapprove.


I have to disagree with you here. How controlling her husband may be has nothing to do why she wanted to serve you as a guest.

Shes a stay at home mom and housewife by their mutual choosing.

Heres a question for you DFOR, Why do you assume stay at home housewife indicates they aren't equals?
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Old 10-18-2011, 03:56 PM
 
Location: New England
1,132 posts, read 2,058,636 times
Reputation: 1981
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
I have to disagree with you here. How controlling her husband may be has nothing to do why she wanted to serve you as a guest.

Shes a stay at home mom and housewife by their mutual choosing.

Heres a question for you DFOR, Why do you assume stay at home housewife indicates they aren't equals?

1. You are correct, she was being very hospitable. I guess I'm just not comfortable being served. For ME, I look at it as being catered to. I just wanted to make it easier on her, and dole out my own portion

2. Correct again. They both agreed for her to stay at home, and she does like it. It's the mindset I see in him that is bothersome.

3. Oh, a stay at home housewife is most definitely an equal to their SO. Their job raising kids and a household is probably harder than a man going to his work. Like I mentioned, it's the mindset of the man that indicates equality, or lack of.

And, thanks for the civil debate.
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