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View Poll Results: Was I controlling
Yes, you were 9 25.71%
No, you weren't 26 74.29%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-04-2011, 03:32 PM
 
Location: New England
1,135 posts, read 2,071,208 times
Reputation: 1986

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Yesterday I get home from work and getting ready to make a salad for myself, (my wife is out of town). My sister calls and asks if I want to come down for Italian Wedding Soup.

I say, sure, be there in 30 minutes. I go down to her house maybe once a week when my wife travels. I get there, and we get ready to eat at the center island (me, my sister and her two kids, her fiance was still working).

A little background about her. She does not work. Fiance doesn't want her to; just keep the house up, cook and raise the kids, 11 and 13.

So, anyway, I say to her as she is filling up a bowl, "that can be yours or the kids, I'll fill my own bowl." She shakes her head and says "you're so controlling."

First off, I don't need to sit there and be catered to. Secondly, she heaps food on the plate. Has no idea what portion control is, so I wanted to do my own. She KNOWS this, I say it every time.

OK, was I controlling?
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Old 10-04-2011, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,079 posts, read 4,215,508 times
Reputation: 5401
Honestly,....No. But sometimes siblings start arguments regarding one issue when really they are mad at each other over something entirely different. I personally don't see anything controlling about what you said. Maybe she wasn't feeling to good about something and because your close got snippy with you.
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Old 10-04-2011, 03:54 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,928,670 times
Reputation: 17987
Its not as though you're a guest at a formal sit down or a child who can't manage portions.

Her kitchen is her domain and she controlls it. She takes her home duties very seriously.

Just ignore her comment.
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Old 10-04-2011, 03:55 PM
 
12,887 posts, read 15,459,866 times
Reputation: 14854
I agree with supermanpansy....she sounds like she was just in a confrontational mood....I wouldn't give it a second thought.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Blah
4,153 posts, read 7,966,065 times
Reputation: 3062
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Its not as though you're a guest at a formal sit down or a child who can't manage portions.

Her kitchen is her domain and she controlls it. She takes her home duties very seriously.

Just ignore her comment.
I'm going with this one.

We wasn't there so it's really difficult to grasp the full picture but I think she is being who she is which is a house wife. House wives take that stuff seriously.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:17 PM
 
Location: New England
1,135 posts, read 2,071,208 times
Reputation: 1986
She does take the home duties seriously. She has to, he is the one who's controlling!!! And she was in a snippy mood, as she isn't happy with him right now, but that's a long story.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:20 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,849 posts, read 30,397,094 times
Reputation: 22357
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
Yesterday I get home from work and getting ready to make a salad for myself, (my wife is out of town). My sister calls and asks if I want to come down for Italian Wedding Soup.

I say, sure, be there in 30 minutes. I go down to her house maybe once a week when my wife travels. I get there, and we get ready to eat at the center island (me, my sister and her two kids, her fiance was still working).

A little background about her. She does not work. Fiance doesn't want her to; just keep the house up, cook and raise the kids, 11 and 13.

So, anyway, I say to her as she is filling up a bowl, "that can be yours or the kids, I'll fill my own bowl." She shakes her head and says "you're so controlling."

First off, I don't need to sit there and be catered to. Secondly, she heaps food on the plate. Has no idea what portion control is, so I wanted to do my own. She KNOWS this, I say it every time.

OK, was I controlling?
Not at all. You're an adult and capable of dishing out your own food. I do this all the time because my husband will give me way more to eat than I want.

Apparently, *SHE* is the one with control issues. I find that whenever someone criticizes me for something, it is usually a crime they are guilty of.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,323 posts, read 8,377,599 times
Reputation: 8669
Maybe she meant self-controlled?
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:29 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,928,670 times
Reputation: 17987
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
She does take the home duties seriously. She has to, he is the one who's controlling!!! And she was in a snippy mood, as she isn't happy with him right now, but that's a long story.
I can understand how that happens. Shes going to be super controlling in the areas of her life she actually can controll, but shes projecting his issues onto you.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,624,239 times
Reputation: 39870
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
Yesterday I get home from work and getting ready to make a salad for myself, (my wife is out of town). My sister calls and asks if I want to come down for Italian Wedding Soup.

I say, sure, be there in 30 minutes. I go down to her house maybe once a week when my wife travels. I get there, and we get ready to eat at the center island (me, my sister and her two kids, her fiance was still working).

A little background about her. She does not work. Fiance doesn't want her to; just keep the house up, cook and raise the kids, 11 and 13.

So, anyway, I say to her as she is filling up a bowl, "that can be yours or the kids, I'll fill my own bowl." She shakes her head and says "you're so controlling."

First off, I don't need to sit there and be catered to. Secondly, she heaps food on the plate. Has no idea what portion control is, so I wanted to do my own. She KNOWS this, I say it every time.

OK, was I controlling?

Yeah, I'm betting you are - judgemental too.

See, we tell on ourselves with the things we say and don't even realize it sometimes.

Think about it, there was absolutely no need to tell us your "sister does not work", much less that "her fiance doesn't want her to". It has nothing to do with the story or your question.

Mentioning those things in combination with your assertion that you "don't want or need to be catered to" tells me you disapprove of your sisters lifestyle.

She either knows or senses that by the way. Just like she knows other things about you that we can't possibly know here.

So I'll leave it at this...it is often advisable to pay attention to the way the people who love us describe us. We can learn a lot about ourselves that we can't, or don't want to see.
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